View Full Version : Marriage By Proxy (any state)


Shortie
07-04-2002, 07:41 PM
I was wondering how you all felt about marriage by proxy.. I did this last Nov...
Do you thing you love you partner enought to marry them like this or would you wait???

vnvdvc
07-05-2002, 07:04 AM
I would do it if I had no other recourse. I do feel it is important to be married. After all, in the end the marriage is what counts, not a ceremony. Not that I wouldn't live a nice wedding with the family and friends either!

CREAMYALMONDZ
07-05-2002, 08:37 AM
What's a proxy?

KelliKoz
07-10-2002, 02:06 PM
Shortie,

Wouldn't let me vote, but I vote yes. Love conquers all in my book. You can always have that special ceremony to seal it after they are released.
Kelli

DJohnson
07-10-2002, 02:19 PM
Well for me on my & EJ's last visit, he wanted us to get things started so we could get married while he was inside. He stated that he loves me that much that he would get married while inside. He doesn't have all that long to go 5/2004 & we have both already waited for eachother for over a year now.
I told him honestly that I can wait until he comes home. If he would have been in longer then I would have said yes.
I told him my BIG reason why. To me a prison wedding w/EJ would be the biggest form of torture for me & him as well. We are married, yet we can't be together, we can't have our honeymoon night & things are the same as when we were engaged, just have that piece of paper to prove our marriage. When I told him that reason he actually sat back & thought about it & agreed w/me on that it would be torture for him as well.
We both love each other more than life itself & no matter what I am standing behind my man & when he comes home then we go to Las Vegas & get married!

KelliKoz
07-10-2002, 04:23 PM
A proxy means you are an agent or a representative for a person who is unable to attend. Since the incarcerated person can't attend a ceremony, he fills out an absentee application for marriage, and either a stand in (like in Shortie's case) or a judge acts as the representative to carry out decree. Voting by proxy is another example.
Kelli

danielle
07-10-2002, 04:26 PM
If Wayne and I weren't already married, I would do it. I am not sure he would, however.

Shortie
07-10-2002, 07:39 PM
i see such a great varity in here that is great..

michelle
07-30-2002, 06:41 PM
Hey does IL do that sort of thing? The proxy thing?

jnv512
07-30-2002, 07:27 PM
Does New York do that?

DJohnson
07-31-2002, 07:29 AM
I don't think IL does the "proxy" thing Michelle.
In fact I talked to a lady while waiting for EJ this past weekend & she told me that she got married to her husband inside. I asked her of the procedure & to ME it was really sad....

Shortie
07-31-2002, 07:39 PM
i am not sure if they do it in eaither state call the county clerks office and they could tell you...

ShanesPrincess
07-31-2002, 11:29 PM
I was woundering if they do this in Washington State? For Shane and I we are already married. We did this thing in Las Vegas that we were able to say our voews. It was not a legal thing.

All we want is for the gov to reconise that we are married. To eachother we already are. So that is what counts to us.

KelliKoz
08-01-2002, 10:43 AM
I have done some research, and proxy is allowed in Texas, Montana and Colorado only from all that I would locate. That way you won't all spin your wheels.

Today is my official wedding date. It was not done by proxy, even though my HUSBAND (yippee) is incarcerated in Colorado. They also let you solemnize your own vows in that state, so that is how our wedding was done this morning. We preferred not to have guards present, it detracted too much.

Hope this info helps others.

Kelli

RubenzChulita
08-03-2002, 04:34 PM
Congrats Kelli!!!! I married my husband by proxy in Texas 13 years ago. It was the best thing in the world I have ever done and I hope one day when he comes home to myself and our daughter that we will renew our vows then with a wedding for all the loved ones to attend.

KelliKoz
08-03-2002, 10:37 PM
Thank you, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I pray you get to spend time with your husband soon. I pray I get to spend time with mine!

Love
Kelli

kvinct
08-07-2002, 07:32 AM
isn't it difficult to find a judge to agree to a "proxy"? from what i understand, which i admit isn't much, judges are not too hot on the idea of proxy marriages and that finding one who will do it is one of the biggest hurdles. i am in connecticut and, from the phone calls i've made to colorado so far, the majority of folks in city halls don't even know what marriage by proxy even means.

KelliKoz
08-07-2002, 07:59 AM
You are right, in Colorado you will hear many different answers. Even though it is in their laws, the city clerks are not well educated. That is why we chose to solmenize our vows ourself, as my husband was opposed to a "prison wedding". Are you trying to get married there? I did a lot of research, so let me know if I can help.

Kellli

DavesLuv
08-07-2002, 10:36 PM
Shorty,
How long is your hubby's sentence? I guess in my case I will wait since my fiance's sentence is for 30 months. Tell you what though,,, the first thing I want to do when he is realeased is make it legal by getting married.
Do you plan a renewal of vows or big wedding celebration upon his release?
Just curious. Congratulations and God bless your marriage and your little family in Texas.
Cheryl in Louisiana

Shortie
08-10-2002, 01:18 PM
Well my baby's sentance is 12 yrs.. But he should see parole before then but you never know in Texas.. That is why we went ahead and did the proxy thing.. Yes we are going to re-new our vows and have a big reception.. He always whispers in my eye WILL YOU MARRY ME all over again.. :) Makes my day... He wants to remarry so bad....

kvinct
08-12-2002, 10:17 AM
i posted a reply sever weeks ago. i don't know what happened to it. i can't seem to find it. that would explain why nobody has answered me. i was asking if anyone could help me try to pull off a marriage by proxy through colorado. i believe i have all the necessary paperwork, the absentee application was signed and notorized, and i even found a marriage license application on line. i would just like someone with some experience in this give me a little advice and pointers. i live in connecticut and he's in new hampshire. any info anyone could provide would be helpful. please help.

KelliKoz
08-12-2002, 07:42 PM
I just got married in Colorado, not by proxy, but by solemnizing our own vows. You can't do this long distance unfortunately. At least one of you has to apply for the license in person. I don't think your method will work, I am sorry to report. I had to fly from Nevada to Colorado to get the application, my fiancee is incarcerated in that state.

Not the answer you are looking for, but the correct on so you don't spin your wheels.

Kelli

blueroseks
08-22-2002, 11:29 AM
What is the procedure for a Texas proxy wedding? I live in Kansas and my mate is at Lynaugh Unit. He asked that his brother can stand in for him. All help is highly appreciated.

warrenswife
08-22-2002, 10:13 PM
my husband and i were married by proxy here in texas. i am a x guard. we have been married nearly 3 yrs. we have yet to have a wedding night. not allowed. i was allowed to visit till last month after he was transfered the warden took me off his list. long story. they may keep me from seeing him but they can't take away our love dor each other.

blueroseks
08-23-2002, 12:56 AM
:( randi.. sorry to hear this. Time nor distance will keep true love. I am a firm believer. My ex and I married when we were in our early twenties. We got scared and I walked away. We both married other people. I was married for 9 years to hubby#2. 3years after my divorce. My ex came to my home town looking for me. When he got arrested and sentenced, he wrote me to see if I would be his strength. His current wife has hardly written him. I send a letter everyday. She has taken their son to see him 2 times. My ex and I never stopped caring and loving each other. I consider his handsome 11 year old mine and he would love to adopt my boys 14 and 9. His ex asked him to "be a man and let her go". She got her wish. He filed for divorce. During those 13 years of no contact, our love never stopped. So you and your man hang in there. When you feel down, drop me a line. Don't let anybody's opinion damper your feelings. HANG STRONG!!!!! Tell me how you go about proxy weddings..thnx

Joy
08-23-2002, 03:41 AM
Blueroseks,

Where in Kansas do you live? I also live in Kansas. How often did you go to Texas to see your boyfriend?

E-mail me and let's talk
Joy

Shortie
08-24-2002, 09:34 PM
Proxy marriage is very easy.. You can read my post in this topic and get all the info you need.. Just email me if you have additional questions.. It is easy to do just find a minister or JOP to do the cerimony and it is on.. The license is $36 and you have to wait 72 hours .. He has to do a support of proxy application and note who he wants to stand in for him...

KRIS_NC
08-25-2002, 05:14 PM
I WOULD MARRY JESSE BY PROXY IN A MINUTE.WE HAVE COME TOO FAR AND BEEN THROUGH YEARS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND EACH OTHER THAT IF I KNEW NC RECOGNIZED THIS KIND OF MARRIAGE;YES I WOULD DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT

KRIS_NC
08-25-2002, 05:18 PM
JUST CURIOUS WHAT EXACTLY IS SOLEMNIZING VOWS AND IS IT DONE IN EVERY STATE?

Shortie
08-30-2002, 08:41 PM
Solemnizing your vows is basically having intercourse or sex after you are married.. It is done in every state but does not have to been done to make it legal...

KRIS_NC
09-05-2002, 02:34 PM
THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME.IT REALLY HELPS.

Gege
09-18-2002, 02:28 AM
Shortie, my baby is locked in Texas and I just found out last week he wants to get married in October. I'm lost I stay in Tennessee. I don't even know where to start. Someone please help me. Gege :(

Shortie
09-18-2002, 07:28 PM
Hey you need to start with the support of proxy papers they he needs to fill our or have done in the law libaray.. Then you also need to get his birth certificate.. Honey you need to get your licence 72 hours before you want to get married.. Most justice of the peace officers will do your wedding. Then you need to make sure you have the $36 for the license too..

JacksGirl
09-19-2002, 12:32 PM
I would have to say yes. Because that is probably how it will go. And when Jack gets out we will renew our vows.

KelliKoz
09-20-2002, 05:11 PM
Actually, solemnizing has nothing to do with sex. It is only legal in Colorado that a couple may solemnize their own vows. Usually done by a clergy person or justice of the peace. We solemnized our vows, but have never consummated the marriage due to the incarcertation. Consummating is the sexual part. Solemnize means to dignify or honor by ceremonies, to celebrate.

Kelli

KRIS_NC
09-22-2002, 06:12 PM
THANX EVERYONE FOR THE HELP.ILL BE SURE TO KEEP EVERYONE POSTED ON THE PROGRESS AND A DATE IF IT EVER HAPPENS

smfrg
09-22-2002, 06:45 PM
My husband and I were married by proxy back in '97. As soon as we can put all this legal stuff behind us and not have those worries we will consumate our marriage the way we had originally planned. But if I had it to do all over again, I would.

Ginger
09-27-2002, 10:28 AM
Hey everyone!! I am in colorado and I just got married through paperwork but it wasn't exactly by proxy. It didn't cost as much either it was only $10 for the liscense. I sent jason a request for marriage liscence for an absent party and he filled it out and had it noterized. Then I picked up the liscence and filled it out, we married ourselves, which is totally legal. Then he signed it and we sent it in. It took awhile to marry everything back and forth. You can pick whatever date you want and we went for august 8th. I am very happy that we are married. We had planned on it before he went in but then shit got f'd up. In a couple of years we plan to have a ceremony so we feel like we didn't miss out on the whole wedding deal. We wrote each other vows and it was very romantic. I guess it isn't for everyone but I am very happy with how things worked out for us. Good luck to all of you!!

KRIS_NC
09-28-2002, 05:43 PM
IM GONNA TRY TO SEE IF NORTH CAROLINA HAS THAT GINGER.THANKS!

troysgl
09-28-2002, 11:09 PM
yes i would marry by proxy because deathrow inmates can't

get married in georgia

laura jo covey
10-18-2002, 03:56 PM
THATS HOW ME AND DEWAYNE GOT MARRIED. MY BEST FRIEND LISA WAS DEWAYNES PROXY. I TOLD THE JUDGE IF HE TOLD HER TO KISS THE BRIDE I WOULD BE RUNNING OUT OF THE COURT ROOM! IT WAS SAD GETTING MARRIED THAT WAY IT MADE ME MISS HIM EVEN MORE AND ALL I DID WAS CRY! I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.

DeDe
11-14-2002, 01:26 PM
I WOULD MARRY BY PROXY, AND WHEN HE COMES HOME WE CAN DO IT AGAIN WITH THE FAMILY, RIGHT NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO US IS TO GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY, WERE JUST WAITING ON PAPERWORK. HE HAS UNTIL 12-2008

ladybackinblack
11-19-2002, 08:44 PM
No question about it. If you truly love someone, you will do whatever it takes to complete your relationship, even if it means getting married by proxy.

crazylady
11-23-2002, 09:38 PM
someone help me here...I am reading and need more advice...My man is in Arkansas and I want to marry him by proxie... I'm in Utah and Utah will not let him parole here unless he has family

Shortie
01-01-2003, 11:49 AM
You have to check utah law and see if they allow marriage by proxy that is where you need to start...

Chevygal55
02-01-2003, 09:25 PM
I married Sam by Proxy. And even tho we are getting a divorce I still think if you love each other heart and soul and this is the only way you can be married go for it. I however rushed into a marriage without really knowing what I was getting myself into. And I don't mean marriage, I mean the person whom I married. It did not work out for us but that is us. Anyone else who feels in their heart and soul you are right for each other and marriage by proxy is the only way... I am for it.

KRIS_NC
02-02-2003, 03:49 PM
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY AND SUPPORT

SamsAngel
03-02-2003, 12:54 AM
warrenswife,
you mean even after you were married they still wouldn't let you visit because you are an ex guard?! I too am an ex guard and me and my baby are planning on getting married as soon as he is released. We have been talking about doing it now so that we may get visits. But if they still won't allow them..i think i would rather wait.
Angel ^i^

BillysAngel
03-06-2003, 04:16 AM
Shortie
That is how me & Billy got married - almost 3 years ago :)
4-14-00 :) We are planning to get re-married as soon as he comes home though so we can say our vows face to face... We were supposed to do it when he got out LAST time, but ended up splitting up instead :( But now we are back together, (we only split up for about a month). But I wish he would hurry up and get home so we can have our special wedding :)
diane

Suzanne Miller
03-13-2003, 02:09 AM
I married my husband by proxy in Texas. I was married on a Friday morning at the courthouse. On Saturday, when he came in for our visit, I flashed my wedding ring at him and said, "well, you did it...you're married"...The smile, the joy on his face made it all worthwhile.

Joy
03-15-2003, 03:24 AM
I don't understand why a chaplain could come to the visiting room and marry someone. Why doesn't Texas allow that?

karinelsea
03-16-2003, 05:37 PM
Some states, such as TX, only allow marriages via proxy, in others, one can get married at the prison; with regard to proxy marriages, it depends on the state one lives in {as some state allow them and others only for people serving in the armed forces}. I do know that should you live in VA {where proxy marriages are only allowed for service members} and wish to marry a loved in Tx, the proxy marriage will have to take place in TX. Karin

Suzanne Miller
03-17-2003, 11:18 PM
Joy, I sent you a PM about proxy marriage in Texas. Also, note that each Courthouse can have a few different requirements. Since we were just married 7 Feb, I can tell you in complete detail about getting married to someone in Polunsky unit. So e-mail me and give me your phone number and I'll even call you and talk you through it. I thought it was great and I'll never forget Gary's smile when I told him we were definitely married the next day at visiting.

knuffiwelt1
03-25-2003, 12:26 PM
Well, I love romatic, so I wait..lol....( I think so, but never you know what happen *Ü*)

mrsharris
03-27-2003, 09:13 AM
I was almost a "prisoners wife" myself, but decided against it. I got to thinking about what a husband's role is supposed to be. And he can't live up to that role incarcerated. So I figured if he loved me the best thing to do would be to wait. Freedom changes some people when they are released. I have heard some good and bad stories, but I don't want to be included in the bad ones. To those it has worked out for congratulations. But as for me, I think I'll wait.

Teardrop
03-30-2003, 06:18 PM
My husband and I were married by proxy last November. I wanted to have a ceremony but the important thing is that we are married. We decided that we will have a ceremony with our families when he comes home. I am happy with that, just happy we are married.

bbonnie
04-25-2003, 02:29 AM
Calif allows proxy weddings also.

lulu
04-25-2003, 09:30 AM
NY is not done by proxy, Tx is though to what i understand

lin88jon
04-29-2003, 12:20 AM
May 7, 2003 will be our 5th Anniversary!! We were married at the courthouse on National Prayer Day, by proxy. My bestfriend stood in for Johnny. Her son and our daughter were there and I had a small bouquet of wildflowers. Johnny knew what time my appointment with the judge was so he was thinking of me at the moment we were married. It was the happiest day of my life.

Being that I was an ex CO, I was immediately placed on my husband's visitation list as soon as we turned in a copy of our marriage license, but after 9 visits, I was taken off and we fought for 20 months before I got back on it. I haven't missed but 1 visit since.

wyresgirl
05-03-2003, 05:27 AM
well i'm not sure how it is done everwhere else, but my fiancee and i have to do x amount of counciling, fill out a stack of paper work, wait for the chain of people to approve it, then we get the date picked for us by the chaplin, we get 2 hours in the visiting room annex... and it is done.. We hope to be married within the next 6 months.... but from the looks of things i dunno cause they are tryin to ship people to high desert in nevada.. :( ( we are in Wa now)

Rostonhall
07-18-2003, 06:44 AM
How I envy you all who could be married by proxy. My fiance is in Illinois and not only do they not allow marriage by proxy but there are NO marriages taking place in any prison in Illinois, with each place giving it's own reason for this.
To those who want to marry I say fight as hard as you can because it is the RIGHT of every inmate to be allowed to marry and the State of Illinois is denying them that right.
I never thought I'd say that I envy people in prison in Texas!!

Rose

eugenesgirl
07-18-2003, 08:57 AM
i was married at the courthouse in Gainesville, TX and they were very nice and understanding about it, they didn't ask alot of questions. In fact, they told me they had been performing alot of proxy marriages lately, due to the guys going off to war. I waived my 72 hours waiting time and was married on the same day, I didn't have anyone with me, so a man that worked there volunteered, how nice is that?:)

Yadi23669
07-23-2003, 04:51 PM
I married my husband by proxy and the day he is home we will have our honeymoon and ceremony. It feels good to refer myself as his wife than just his girlfriend. No regrets!

blueroseks
07-31-2003, 02:41 PM
Got married Tuesday by proxy in the Great State of Texas. I am tickled but have mixed feelings. I hated that my husband missed out on our special day. I tried to call the Chaplain's office so they could get a messasge to him but the chaplain is out until tomorrow. Hopefully my letter will get to him quick. Going to go see him the weekend of the 9th for our FIRST contact visit. Praise God for the wonderful things that has happened in our lives.

lilpunkintx
07-31-2003, 07:20 PM
Hello, I have a couple questions. I would like to marry my fiancee, we where planning on getting married in Nov. but he went to jail. He is in Tarrant county right now , awaiting to go to TDC, he will be leaving as soon as our daughter is born which is in a couple of weeks. What my questions are is 1. How does marry someone in a texas prison work? 2. Can you have contact vists after you are married? I would like for him to see his daughter other then through a window. 3. Can we have contact vists even though we are not married maybe cause I am the mother of his child?

blueroseks
08-01-2003, 09:40 AM
lilpumpkintx,

The answers are:

Your best bet is to get married by proxy before he is sent into the system. Even though you are the mother of his child still makes you a "FRIEND". Friends don't get contact visits. If your child goes with your honey's parents or siblings, he could hold her. But if you are there, there would be no contact visit. You need to go to the courthouse and tell them that you want to get married by proxy. Your honey will have to decide who he wants to stand in for him. You will need his driver's license or birth certificate for the proxy marriage.

Hon, this is just my opinion. You and your honey need to follow your heart. Be strong and remember we are here for you.

lilpunkintx
08-03-2003, 09:15 AM
Blueroseks,

Thank you for all your help. I did not even know the first step how about going to get married. When he was free we were planning our wedding , I guess now we just wait till he comes home for the whole wedding thing. But that is ok for me I just want to be notice legally as his wife. We already thing of are self as husband and wife. AS for his family taking our daughter to see him, that most likely wont happen for one the dont like me , because I have taken there baby boy away from them, and they dont believe I am pregant, even thou I am do in a couple of weeks. It is partly his familys fault that he is where he is at today. I just dont think I would trust them to take our daughter. Maybe it is wrong of me to hold that grudge, but I cant help but to worry. It has been just me and him for so long , I dont depend on anybody but him. We do have the support of my family , they all accept him and stand beside us. It might be because I told him they had to accept him , because I wasnt leaving him . But it is real good to have some support I hope they continue through the whole thing, like they say time changes things. except for love, love can beat all. Well I know I have gone on long enough. It is just nice to talk about to some who is in the same boat , hell it is just nice to talk finally about it all. so thanks for lending me your ears. and thanks for all the helpful info.

blueroseks
08-04-2003, 10:22 AM
Hang strong, hon. You do what is best for you, your man and your baby. I won't lie to you this road is a hard one but I think well worth it all.

maylinglove
08-10-2003, 02:15 PM
mY FIANCEE IS IN USMCFP SPRINGFIELD,MO. HE IS RESIDING AT HOWARD COUNTY DETENTION CENTER,MD FOR A COURT CASE. I WAS REFUSED TO BE ALLOWED TO VISIT AT SPRINGFIELD BECAUSE I HAD MY OWN PROBLEMS IN THE PAST. I HAVE SINCE THEN GRADUATED COLLEGE AND HAVE HAD NO OTHER LEGAL PROBLEMS FOR OVER 3 YEARS. WE WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED ASAP BEFORE HE GOES BACK TO SPRINGFIELD. WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE 5 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN LIFE LONG FRIENDS. HE ISN'T DUE TO GET OUT FOR ANOTHER 4 YEARS AND WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE EACH OTHER AND COMMITT OUR LOVE TO ONE ANOTHER. IF ANYONE HAS ANY ADVICE AS FAR AS US GETTING MARRIED. PLEASE PM ME.

daddysgirl1102
08-16-2003, 10:06 PM
To those of you who married by proxy can you please tell me if we have to have someone stand in for him or can the judge or whoever does it. Also is a proxy marriage legal in all states I know only three states will do them but do all recongize them. Does it say proxy marriage on your cerfiicate

IrishEyes
08-27-2003, 10:52 AM
Update,.. Georgia doesn't allow "solemnizing". If you marry while on the inside, you must wait for their release before consumating the marriage,.. bummer, huh?? We don't have trailer visits either,.. funny~ Georgia has over 50,000 inmates, and no conjugals,.. of any sort!! Hmmph!

De La O
09-04-2003, 11:51 PM
After bringing up the issue of being married by proxy to my David I have decided to do it. I do feel a little apprehensive about going to the offices and doing it alone, but we intend to have a wedding as soon as he gets out and would both find a sense of relief and security in the fact that we are legally husband and wife. I don't even intend on telling our families until he is out because I fear what thier reactions will be. In a way, this is a private thing for him and I to share. I have no doubt in my mind that he is my soulmate and the man destined to father my children someday. He has a short sentence compared to many of the terms I've read about, but I just feel like I can't wait. I would love to at least have a piece of paper that I guess validates what we hold in our hearts. Am I crazy? I know in my heart that fate binds us together, but I guess I am looking for someones objective opinion on the subject. I want a wedding, and exchanging of vows and all the traditional romantic stuff. But right now our lives dont follow the same path as the general public, and I feel that being married, if only on paper, is something that will give us strength and optomism. Feedback would be much appreciated.
Christina

blueroseks
09-05-2003, 09:51 AM
All I can tell you all is what my proxy marriage was like. My husband's nephew filled in for my husband. The marriage certificate was a normal marriage certificate. No PROXY written anywhere. We will exchange vows infront of our family when he gets home. It is what is in the heart that counts. Nothing would make me anymore married. I love my man and he loves me. NOTHING else matters.

darlia
09-09-2003, 08:24 PM
"WOW" to be honest I had no idea what a proxy marriage was. I got married in the prison in the little visiting hole with a thick glass to seperate us. He had his celly and an other friend be the witneseson his side and I had the judge and chaplin on my side all in the little visiting "BOX". It lasted about 10 min. and we got 5 min after to visit. oh, they was all chained down to the floor sad huh? We want to get married again in the church once he gets out. it means alot to both of us. But I would do the proxy thing cuz I LOVE HIM.

tubbsbaby
09-15-2003, 02:11 AM
I am new here, and was wondering if anyone knows if getting married like this is done in california, and if it is, how can i find out more...thanks, and thanks for such a great site, and great people...

lea
09-15-2003, 11:24 AM
TubbsBaby-no,you can`t get married by proxy in california. check out the site www.usmarriagelaw.com ..you will find some helpful information there....

mommie chula
10-06-2003, 09:35 PM
we were just married on october 3rd in south carolina-it was the first wedding their in over 5 years, but we managed to overcome all their obstacles. We got the license(which required some work) got a judge to get on my husbands visitation list, got the warden to approve for the judge to bring in the marriage license and notary seal, and we sat at our table and said our vows and put the rings on each others fingers and said I do and signed, sealed the deal! It was very nice under the circimstances and we will do it for real when he gets released....

RTRUJILLO
10-15-2003, 09:28 AM
K I STILL NEED HELP!!!! I HAVE SOME ONE TO STAND IN FOR HIM, HE SENT A LIMITED POWER OF ATT AND I HAVE THE ABSENT PAPER THING HE SIGNED IT BUT..... I NEED IT NOTERIZED AND THEY SAID A CLALLAM BAY CORR CENTER IN WASHINGTON THEY WILL NOT NOTERIZE IT NOW WHAT DO I DO? I NEED SOMEONES HELP, OR IF SOMEONE LIVES IN WASHINGTON WHO CAN HELP WITH THE NOTERIZING PLEASE HELP ME, I LOVE MY MAN SOOO MUCH...FROM RHONDA IN COLORADO

inisha
10-22-2003, 09:04 AM
what is proxy?

ranae
10-25-2003, 01:05 AM
I got married by proxy will be a year Oct 31st.I would do it all over again.I Love my husband so very very much he gets out oct 2004 so my second anniversary will be wonderful........
All I can say is follow your heart Love with all you've got and never give up faith.

Red7
10-25-2003, 03:31 PM
Hello Everyone!!!
Can you get married by proxy in ny?
Thanks

CarolineM
10-28-2003, 08:37 AM
Just to let you know, proxy weddings have a long history. In the past, European kings, soldiers stationed overseas, immigrants separated from their families, etc. have used the practice to marry their absent partners. And for many decades, inmates and their girlfriends or boyfriends got married by proxy.
Despite the enormous effort and paperwork they require on your part, proxy marriages sometimes have been and still are the only way to tie the knot with your loved one.
You are continuing a very long tradition.

I am very interested in your stories. Currently, I am writing a masters thesis on ‘media weddings’, that is, all kinds of weddings performed via telegraph, the Internet, etc.
Proxy weddings will make up an important part of my thesis.
I would be thrilled if any of you would be willing to participate in an email interview. I am mainly interested in how you experienced the ‘ceremony’ itself and whether in your view, it replaces a ‘traditional’ wedding ceremony.
Please contact me at mediaweddings@yahoo.ca.
Thanks and all the best to you all!
Caroline

ansar
11-11-2003, 04:35 PM
A PROXY???? I cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!. I never heard such a thing. Forgive me y'all, but that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. My brother is a lawyer, good looking (of course not important), very nice, loves to have fun, owns 2 nice cars, 2 homes and travels. The same women who meet him tell him "he is to good to be true" turns around and marries some nut in prison (especially the bad boys & lifers) and men like my brother are by them selves. Uh hmmm That's a damn shame. Oh well to each his own. I guess it is fashionable to be a repeated offender since it's so rad or cool I guess. A former inmate's wife

ansar
11-11-2003, 05:11 PM
Hey this web site is very interesting. I thought I was 1 in a billion married to an inmate. I don't know any one in my area who has a spouse incarcerated. I was SO SHOCKED to see SO MANY or even one who is married to any inmate. Poeple in my community thinks I'm CRAZY or a FREAK when they discovered that I had a husband behind bars. I'm still in shock, I can't believe it. I always thought it was not of the norm to be married to someone in prison. My family, friends and others eyes were wide open and could not believe that inmates can have weddings. Well I wish I was brave like you women. I was married for total 20 years. We got married in church and lived together for more than 10years before he got in trouble. That's probably why I can never relate to having a wedding in prison. The next almost 10 years I visited him once or twice a month and each visit was one hour. Hey I thought I did darn pretty good if I stayed 2 hours. I hardly brought money. I tell him advance to come to the visiting room with a full stomach. It may sound cold blooded, though not my intention. But as a "so-called single parent" I always have to budjet carefully in order to make sure me and my kids are taken care of first. He got mad and called me EL CHEAPO. But hey, I always reming him at least he's lucky I made time to visit his butt. There are not many women like you ladies on this post who would go through what you ladies do. Hey my friends and family thought it was amazing and unbelievable that I took time to visit and short while. They were like ,"GIRL HOW COULD YOU DO IT". "i give you props, they would say. Welll, after discovering these stories from this web site, I can tell my friends yall broke my record, so to speak. Well ya learn something new every day. Like I said earlier, being a prisoner's wife is not a very common thing in my community.

Still Learnin

Ansar

CelliePieGrrl
11-28-2003, 07:49 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ansar "A PROXY???? I cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!. I never heard such a thing. Forgive me y'all, but that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of."

"The same women who meet him tell him "he is to good to be true" turns around and marries some nut in prison (especially the bad boys & lifers) and men like my brother are by them selves. Uh hmmm That's a damn shame. Oh well to each his own. I guess it is fashionable to be a repeated offender since it's so rad or cool I guess."

A lot of women on this site where married by proxy, including myself and my husband, and many may not appreciate insensitive remarks. I surely did not. We do not find it "ridiculous" since it was the only way to get married and that is what was important, getting married...NOT a "real" big-to-do wedding ceremony. You may want to think about what you say next time before you just write.

Babealicious
11-28-2003, 10:08 PM
Does anyone here know about the process involved with marrying someone through proxy at the Polunsky Unit in TX?

Babealicious
11-28-2003, 10:20 PM
Originally posted by ansar
A PROXY???? I cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!. I never heard such a thing. Forgive me y'all, but that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. My brother is a lawyer, good looking (of course not important), very nice, loves to have fun, owns 2 nice cars, 2 homes and travels. The same women who meet him tell him "he is to good to be true" turns around and marries some nut in prison (especially the bad boys & lifers) and men like my brother are by them selves. Uh hmmm That's a damn shame. Oh well to each his own. I guess it is fashionable to be a repeated offender since it's so rad or cool I guess. A former inmate's wife

Oh I just read through this thread. Hey, you need to chill out. People can't help who they fall in love with. Sometimes you meet the best people in the worst places. I really don't see how your brother is relevant to this. Oh right, I guess you are implying he is so much better than any "nut in prison" could be, and you can't possibly understand why he's single while women want to marry "nuts in prison"? First off, not every person in prison is a "nut". Secondly, love works in mysterious ways, and if your brother is half as good as you say he is, I am sure he'll find his someday. But honestly, what business is it of yours what other people do? And who are YOU to say what is ridiculous? Personally, I think everything you just said is ridiculous. If you got married in a church then that's just fine and dandy, but some people don't have that option with the person they love. I could say more, but it would probably result in me getting my post edited by one of the mod's. Damn the censorship! :D


A future wife of a "nut in prison",
Legends

outlawsdeb
11-28-2003, 11:41 PM
i need the papers he is supposed to fill out....can anyone get them to me so I can get them to him????
\And NY is NOT one of the states to do proxy weddings...you need to do a road trip.......

Karl296
12-03-2003, 04:23 PM
When you are legally married you have certain legal rights to your spouse (UNLIKE common-law marriage). This can come in very handy if you want your spouse assigned to a particular half-way house, if they need someone to act as their attorney-in-fact, etc. This is not to mention the peace of mind both parties have that their commitment to each other is now official and of public record. :yes:

mia21
12-09-2003, 06:54 PM
my boyfriend is in maryland, and i'm in texas how could we get married by proxy?

hisheartztwin
12-09-2003, 08:27 PM
I would in a heart beat, its really not the destination that matters to me, its is the fact that we have done it ! Just my thought though!

jeremy n nikki
05-05-2004, 07:34 PM
(Quote) A PROXY???? I cannot believe it!!!!!!!!!!!. I never heard such a thing. Forgive me y'all, but that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. My brother is a lawyer, good looking (of course not important), very nice, loves to have fun, owns 2 nice cars, 2 homes and travels. The same women who meet him tell him "he is to good to be true" turns around and marries some nut in prison (especially the bad boys & lifers) and men like my brother are by them selves. Uh hmmm That's a damn shame. Oh well to each his own. I guess it is fashionable to be a repeated offender since it's so rad or cool I guess. A former inmate's wife

I just read this.. I think that this is also the stupidest thing that I've heard. I'm engaged to a man in prison.. he is not a nut. Not everyone in prison is a nut. Yeah, he was addicted to drugs, but he is not a nut. There might be a reason that they are in prison, but please lady, do not call them nuts. Just because your brother is a lawyer, has 2 nice cars, 2 house.. etc.. doesn't mean he's the kind of person someone wants to be with. Personally, I don't want to be with a man like that. A man like that is usually the kind of man who is a controlling kind of man. My man is in prison. On a 2 year term though. He's not controlling or a nut.. he might not be a laywer with 2 cars, 2 house, money and travels, but he's the kind of man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The kind of man who I can have fun with. My brother doesn't have a lot of money, he lives in a small 1 bedroom house, has a piece of junk truck, but you know what he's got a wife, a son, and two step daughters and you know what.. he's the nicest person in this world. Just because your brother is doing "good" doesn't mean someone wants to be with him.. But as for what you're saying about prisoners being nuts, you're wrong. Not everyone thinks the way that you do. I'm sorry, but my man who is in prison is the best thing in this world.. as what I think. I just think that you need to think a little bit harder about what other people think.