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-   -   Rehabs; co-ed or not ? (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=173273)

witchlinblue 01-10-2006 12:12 AM

Rehabs; co-ed or not ?
 
Shelby and I were just discussing rehabs I started wondering how everyone feels about co-ed rehabs. Please vote and add your two cents !!!

AmyLynn 01-10-2006 05:16 AM

I dont like the fact that there are co ed rehabs. You have enough to deal with when facing your addiction that you really dont need the other sex trying to push up on you at this time in your life.

Shelby 01-10-2006 11:26 AM

I believe rehabs should never be co-ed. You take a couple of people that are fighting for their lives, they are afraid of facing life without drugs, have so many things in common, and they hook up. Which in turn, takes their focus off of recovery. Rehab romances are doomed to fail, and both partners relapse.

California Sunshine 01-10-2006 12:16 PM

Personally from past experience (ex boyfriend and friends) I agree with Shelby

FEDhead 01-10-2006 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmyLynn
I dont like the fact that there are co ed rehabs. You have enough to deal with when facing your addiction that you really dont need the other sex trying to push up on you at this time in your life.

This is so true!! During my stay at a 90 day treatment facility ( which was all female ) one of the issues I worked on STRENUOUSLY with my counselor was my manipulation of men as a means to fuel my addiction. There was so much I had to look at in that area and if there had been men actually at the facility, I would have been much more concerned about getting their attention than in gaining the knowledge and the tools I desperatly needed to embark upon the road to recovery.

kintml2u 01-16-2006 05:25 AM

I agree with the majority so far...Non Co-Ed.

shiva65 01-16-2006 06:52 AM

I know that most rehabs are coed, but there seems to be more sucess and 'working on the core issue's">>> in seperate rehabs. It 's easy to de focus off one self when it is coed.. just my experience.! also from what was said.. yes the relapse rate .. seems to always go hand and hand.. w/ relationships!!!!!!!

someone once said to me.. "Getting into a relationship in recovery is like pouring miracle grow on our character defects">>>>> i never forgot this, because of my own share of .. (recovery relationship)>>>>>>>

Donna

amanda8088 01-16-2006 10:05 PM

:) Most emphatically, I agree with Shelby and anyone who expressed like-minded opinions!
I have worked in co-ed detoxes, and programs, and nearly EVERY time, an addict or alcoholic will choose to focus on the first needy person, instead of focusing on their recovery!! In fact, they would "hook-up" at the speed of light, and leave the program altogether.

It has never worked that 2 new addicts got sober or clean together, while in the first stages of recovery, even though their lives depended on it!!

An interesting topic!!

Amanda8088

Homiegirl 01-16-2006 10:44 PM

I think co-ed rehabs should not exist as well as co-ed halfway houses either, I dont understand why they do them at all. My man was in a co-ed rehab while out on bond and there were so many girls trying to get on him and it is only natural being in a living situation like that...but I just think it takes away from the focus of their recovery...or the focus of them trying to get on track after incarceration!! Just my 2 cents...

Shelby 01-16-2006 10:48 PM

1st Year of Recovery- Buy a plant.
If it lives,
2nd Year of Recovery- Get a dog.
If it lives,
3rd Year of Recovery- You might be ready for a relationship.

witchlinblue 01-16-2006 11:39 PM

HaHa, I so very much agree with you Shelby. Even then 3rd year might be too soon. It takes so very long to be comfortable in your own skin and mind when getting cleaned up.

HeSoHandsome 02-06-2006 10:51 AM

I voted non-coed, you guys stated the reasons.

MonkeyBoi77 03-06-2006 06:17 PM

Rehab
 
Personally it needs to be non coed, I have been there and done it, I have seen the str8 females gawk all the time at the guys and not do their treatment, no offense intented I just call it as I see it, some of the guys are even worse.

Co ed spells trouble to me!

BlueEyes01 03-08-2006 06:21 AM

I aggree with the others as well :)

MonkeyBoi77 03-09-2006 04:55 PM

Let's think for a moment, if one is serious about recovery, why hinder it with co ed rehabs? If a person is there are they not there to help themselves?

HeSoHandsome 03-10-2006 03:40 AM

Not always MonkeyBoi. Some are there because of court cases so their mind really isn't on helping theirself but instead to look good for their case. Others are there because of family intervention which means they don't really want to be there but their family sorta like made them go. And then of course you have the people who truly want to help theirself.

ouicestmoi 03-12-2006 03:37 AM

I was in a court ordered coed rehab for 3 months. I DID get sober. However, many people were focused on their crushes. One of my closest friends got kicked out for having a guy in her room. Women would make up stuff that couldn't be verified visually like yeast infections to be taken to the county hospital the same days as their crushes, to rendez-vous. As the DIRECTOR told us once-it is the nature of the beast-even if you are not doing anything you already have a man or a woman you are fantasizing about in here...don't do it.

MonkeyBoi77 03-22-2006 05:19 PM

Thats was my whole point, I have been in a co ed rehab, some of us were forced to be there for court and the others were there for family stuff, still they insisted on F***ing up instead of working on it!

Yoosgirl 03-25-2006 04:15 PM

What about a couple though? They both want to go to rehab but don't want to be separated. Is there such a thing as couples rehab? Maybe a stupid question but I wanted to ask....

MonkeyBoi77 03-25-2006 04:38 PM

I don't think so, they usually separate em!

witchlinblue 03-25-2006 10:44 PM

yeah I agree. I know everytime my husband has been in a rehab I was never even able to see him for quite some time. There was one that he went to that I couldnt even talk to him on the phone because I was his love interest and they needed him to focus.

Eternal Hope 03-26-2006 06:22 PM

I voted for non-co ed also.....I really think its the best choice in this.

FranG 03-27-2006 09:45 AM

As a counselor who has worked in co-ed rehabs, I feel that it's not the best of situations. I have seen more people leave AMA with someone they met in the rehab and undoubtedly both relapse. It's really hard to keep them focused on why they are really there and to make them understand that it's not a dating service, but a matter of their life and death.

Shelby 03-27-2006 08:43 PM

Fran,
Welcome to PTO! You will find me on the Maryland Forum also. We can sure use some input from a counselors point of view, keep posting.

FranG 03-28-2006 08:26 AM

Thanks, I will


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