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-   -   How many of you have college degrees? (

ashleymusicgirl 05-31-2006 10:55 AM

I have my AA, and I am currently working on my bachelor's degree, in social work of all areas. I want to get my masters but due to the situation of my man going to prison soon, and being pregnant at the moment, I think I will be putting off the masters degree for a little while.

honeyg 05-31-2006 11:03 AM

I have a BA in Psychology and Sociology. From the initial reactions that I got when telling people my man was in prison you'd think I didn't have a brain in my head, like I was too impressionable to see the dangers. They've since come around or at least learned to keep their mouths shut but it really hurt that people thought that falling in love somehow makes you stupid.

HiddenHalo 05-31-2006 12:15 PM

My education has nothing to do with the love I hold for my man. I have an Associates Degree though. I became a personal trainer first and continued my education.

arrilex 05-31-2006 03:05 PM


Originally Posted by honeyg
I have a BA in Psychology and Sociology. From the initial reactions that I got when telling people my man was in prison you'd think I didn't have a brain in my head, like I was too impressionable to see the dangers. They've since come around or at least learned to keep their mouths shut but it really hurt that people thought that falling in love somehow makes you stupid.

I hate that.

It's kind of like, "Hey! Haven't you been in love?"

Unconditional love does not mean one is stupid. Education doesn't make one cold and uncompassionate. :(

People also seem to get the idea that I'm hellbent on ruining my life by loving him. Um... okay. See my awesome job which has lots of room for advancement? See me living independently? Good. Don't try to define my life by the man I love.

TheGeneralsWife 06-01-2006 11:50 AM

I have a BS and an AA. I was undecided and took a lot of "fun " classes. My husband got his GED in prison and is getting his AA this bid. Now if you really want to know which one of us is smarter, hands down, my husband! Our education only means we have better things to talk about.

I always hear that since I am educated that I can get a better man. My folks are always saying that I can do better, but do better then what? So what he's an inmate, most of my brothers are too and they don't tell me I could have had better siblings or that they could have done a better job raising thier sons. I guess since my dad is a Lt. Col. they wanted me to marry military as well.

I once read a paper on how women marry men with the same vocabulary level as they have. It was interesting and might support some peoples education theory. But just because you have a degree doesn't mean that you know how to use big words, just something to think about.

honeyg 06-01-2006 12:09 PM

Arrilex - I too have a good job, own my own home, have friends, etc. so obviously - to me at least - I know how to take care of myself, I don't need a man for that. I need a man to love, who loves me and no one does it better than my guy.
Thegeneralswife - I love that "do better than what?" I wish people would think more about that before saying that we can do better.

mikel 06-01-2006 12:13 PM

I have a Bachelorís Degree in Business and Communication. I plan to use it to get into some kind of government job. I hear the City of Phoenix hires felons and many other organizations. I have a record, so my options are somewhat limited, but not impossible to find employment. For example, I am not going to apply to a bank anytime soon, but who really wants to do that anyways? My gut feeling is that in the next 5-10 years employers will be limited to what they can use from oneís past to discriminate someone.

The one thing I have learned from this experience is that most people that I know, who are educated, are open about my situation. I doubt education matters when it comes to love. But, education helps with self esteem. I advise anyone to gain education and especially those with criminal records. This site has many success stories of people who came out of prison and gained a great job. Remember, not everyone is judgmental. In fact, I feel most people appreciate honesty and making significant improvement since serving time. :thumbsup: I am very positive about my future. If I did not have a college degree with having a record, no telling what I may feel. Many educated people deal with the criminal system; it is the pampered people of this world who are ignorant of it.

Anyways, this is a good discussion thread. :D

arrilex 06-01-2006 02:38 PM


Originally Posted by honeyg
Arrilex - I too have a good job, own my own home, have friends, etc. so obviously - to me at least - I know how to take care of myself, I don't need a man for that. I need a man to love, who loves me and no one does it better than my guy.
Thegeneralswife - I love that "do better than what?" I wish people would think more about that before saying that we can do better.

Right on!!! :thumbsup:

SaraTony2005 06-01-2006 05:50 PM

I went to cosmetology college and graduated in april 2000. I'm going back to school in January 2007 to get a degree in Criminal Justice. like all of you I don't see how education states who you should love.

keytwo 06-01-2006 06:01 PM

Thanks, for all the great feed back.

LostNLove4EvaWithCarlos 06-02-2006 10:36 PM

i will be going to college soon to get an associates degree, and then go for a bachelors...i've taken 4 yrs off since i graduated!! LOL, i thought it'd be "one semester"...but i should have listened to others who told me that "one semester" will turn into years!! LOL anyhoo, like others have said, i don't beleive education level has ANYTHING to do with who you fall in love with, we ALL make mistakes, our loved ones just got CAUGHT doing it!!

SleepSweet 06-04-2006 01:18 AM

I graduated high school in 2002 and this fall I'm finally going to start college in the medical assisting field. My inmate has more degrees than me but he still loves me. You love who you love.

AW Lee 06-08-2006 01:32 PM

I've a bachelor's degree and is planning on going back for a masters then a phd.

And it's BECAUSE of my education and my upbringing that i'm still with my inmate.

Better education = you are trained to look at things in a reasonable manner. And I do not see how LEAVING or not starting a relationship with someone because of past mistakes is reasonable.

People make mistakes and learn from it. That lesson will teach you to be a better person.

neworleans85 06-10-2006 02:53 PM

i'm currently a full-time college student at one of the best universities in the south. i know what you mean, how ppl say "you're too smart to be with someone in jail" even my bf sometimes thinks i deserve better. but you know what i tell him and everyone else, i deserve someone who loves me unconditionally and makes me feel like i am the most incredible and important person in the world and so what if that someone is in jail. his incarceration does not discredit the fact that i am an intelligent woman. and i agree with "aw lee", in addition to what she said, my education helps me to get over what some ppl think, that men should be the bread winners. i'm likely to have a better career than him, but so what? true love isn't about stereotypes & roles. it's about finding someone you would be happy to wait for because you know how worth it your love is & your life together will (eventually) be!

Lou103156 06-10-2006 10:05 PM

Actually have 2 degrees
I have a bachelors in Business Management and an Associates in Business Administration.
BJ dropped out of high school. He has smarts though that could run a ring around lots of guys that have college degrees. He is like a sponge. He is also a talented musician, cook and artist.. in his case the lack of a diploma or degree doesn't mean he is uneducated. The fact he is where he is only proves he made a mistake it does not make him a bad person.


ivorymarie 06-12-2006 10:27 PM

Education to me as well as my family has always been important I have one more year until I graduate with a culinary arts degree. Wish me luck.
older sister-pre med student.
younger sister-science/biology major.
baby sister-head start.
mother- graduated college and is a registered nurse.:grouphug:

SunnyChick 06-12-2006 10:54 PM

I have several graduate degrees -- most recently a Masters in Education. I hold five teaching licenses in Mass. I have a Masters in Library Science and a J.D. I have retired from practicing law, but I did so for many years in N.J. and PA. I don't think that educational level has a major impact on the person you fall in love with, although I have heard of a number of female lawyers who became romantically involved with their clients. I think these may be "cautionary tales" told in law school however. We love the men we love for who they are -- and we didn't learn that in college. SunnyChick

lisa75 06-13-2006 10:22 AM

I have 2 Associate Degrees, one is in Accounting, the other one is in Liberal Arts. I am 1 year away from getting my Bachelors of Science in Accounting. I am planning to get my MBA in three years, and sit for the CPA exam. I consider education to be one of the most important aspects of my life.

Lou103156 06-14-2006 08:53 PM

education is important but not everything
I as I stated have 2 associates degrees, BUT BJ doesn't even have his high school diploma and in a lot of ways he has more knowledge than I do or ever could. He never did well in school but has learned and absorbed everything he could. He has professional knowledge in 8 different areas. He can get a job any day and has worked as a chief, artist of signs and commercial posters, carpentry (ran his own business), printing, licensed plumber, electronic assembly/testing, musician(drummer) and inventory control. The only time he has a problem with getting a job is when you cant work there unless you have a high school diploma. Untill 4 days before he went in he was a supervisor of an electronic keyboard print shop (doing goverment work) and had been for 6 years. I work as an internet help desk admin, my only other experience is electronic technician and management and production admin. So does education count or not?
The only reason he left any one of these jobs was location/travel and another opportunity/interest took him into that endevor. He also tried acting and modeling. He has only been out of work once by choice to take care of me with medical problems(heart attack and tripple bypass) since he was 16 years old. This is why we feel as we do about the men we support.

elden 06-14-2006 08:58 PM

i'm working on getting my college degree i just signed up for my first semester this fall. when people know my situation i always get the pitty look and if there is anything i can do for you let me

Lou103156 06-14-2006 09:27 PM

Elden think about this
One thing I have found out over the past years is if they try the pitty look it is only to make themselves feel better. You have to not give too much info, don't say anything about the case, only minium and let them know you support him fully and that this is not what he is but an unfortunate situation they have gotten themselves into. Stress the positive in him that you love. Never give to much direct information to anyone. You don't owe them anything. I know it sounds harsh but they if they ask they are only looking for dirt.... don't give it to them.. If they like you, let it be based on what you really are and if they don't like you its their loss not Yours. Also let them know you are not looking for their pitty and you don't need it. It's called developing an a good attitude and not allowing your thoughts to controlled by their thoughts. From my experience their pity will turn into real understanding If you do not feed into it. Hope this helps. Just keep trucking along as though nothing is happening, It's hard but it is worth it, to save your dignity as well as the man you care about. Don't let them make you feel like you need their pity. Cause you don't! so do not tollerate it just back off and let them get over it. They will when they don't get a reaction from you. No thanks for their pity is necessary, they are not doing you a favor or helping. Let them know you don't need their pity, you demand amd need thier respect and support. I will be talking to you again, thanks if I need to talk I will let you know. my biggest obsticle and support is his family, If you know what I mean. I't only been 2 weeks since the sentencing, but it started Exactly a year ago. Got 4yrs, 11mnths, 352 days to go. ALSO if you wish to talk to me please feel free to do so. Sincerley, LOU

missing My soulmate /#83 I think

rekeeta2000 06-14-2006 11:20 PM

I am working on a bachelors degree!!!! Just one more year to go!

Lou103156 06-14-2006 11:58 PM

Go for it support your man but don't forget yourself he would wont you to loose out
Go for it girl it took me 12 years to get my degrees and I have not gotten anything professionally for them because of my medical problems immediatly after but I did and have the satisfaction of knowing I have accomplished it. My guy is the one who saw to it that I accomplished this and with his support and time I did it. He spent many hours studying along with me. These are the times when you and he really come to together to support each other even though seperated because of circumstances prove that in these accomplishments love grows stronger. naturally.

Greengirl6773 07-27-2006 07:52 PM

I have a BS in criminal justice. I agree with education and love having nothing to do with each other; however, if I hadn't been in school, I don't think I would have met my fiance. On the flip side, now that I'm engaged to someone in prison, I don't think I'll ever be working in the prison system LOL

sandra8376 07-27-2006 08:26 PM

I have a BA in English and an MS in Psychology. I have been having interesting thoughts of going back to school Fall 2007 to work on my PhD in psych. My son (baby) will be in school full-time; dh should be home by then (if things go well & he can stay out this time)...the timing just seems right. I'm a freelance writer and have more than 10 years experience in non-profit administration experience. I'm also one of the leaders of my state in the field where I work.

And no one in my family is brave enough to tell me that I'm too smart to be married to someone in college - they would get more than a small piece of my mind for it! My husband & I were married many years before prison interrupted our lives, so to even suggest that I should leave him just because he went to prison would be foolish.

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