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-   -   How many use or have used meth? (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=74076)

babylove 08-20-2004 09:08 PM

How many use or have used meth?
 
I am a recovering meth user. I have been clean from meth for almost 3 months. The withdrawl symptoms are getting worse now then in the begining. My drug nightmares are worse. MY mental health has gotten 10 times worse than it used to be. There is no joy in this world anymore for me. Will I ever get that feeling back? I hope so. I had only been doing meth since March this year. If the after effects are so bad from just doing it that amount of time, what are the after effects after a year or more of using? These are all retorhical questions but everyones knows the answers. I was 3 months pregnant already by the time I became unselfish and realized my baby was more important then getting high. Meth is one of the worse drugs in this world. My opinion anyways. I watched my friends do it and the way they acted and treated me while I wasnt using and also realized What the hell was Wrong with me??? How could I let myself be invoved with such an addicting and deadly drug. I will tell you my experience wasnt the greatest, I watched my fiancee turn from a sweet angel to a psychotic demon just from being on it. Hearing voices that told him to do bad things, not thinking he was good enough for me. Suspicious and jealous all the time, accusing that went to far. No one is ever their self afterwards. I dont know if I will ever recover from the drug, but I do know I will NEVER touch it again and thats a promise.
Tana

Dixie_sweetie 08-20-2004 09:22 PM

Tana, I have not used Meth, but sister did and from what she has said she used for a while too like a couple of years. She did change a lot, she lived with my mom and by the time she was 17 was living with her bofriend we didn't know what was going on withher she wanst her self at all. We figured drugs but didn't think it would be crank. She is just now adimitting to us she used and is clean now. After she got away from all those people inculding her husband who used crank too. But she seems to be doing good she is more like old self.but in some ways she is differnt. She hasnt said anything about the nightmares or cravings but I will ask her for you.
I hate that you are going through this and having such a hard time with it. I am very glad you decided your unborn child was more important than the drugs. I hope you can find out the answers you want and are able to stay clean for good. I have heard it is a horrible drug to come clean from. I wish you luck and you (and all addicts) are in my prayers. God bless you.
Brandi

Dre's Lady 08-20-2004 09:23 PM

Tana, I really hope that you stay away from meth. I'm praying for your recovery.
I've never used meth or any drugs.

Ebony's spice 08-20-2004 10:37 PM

You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!

Ban5354 08-20-2004 10:47 PM

It only gets better
 
That is good that you only used for months, some people go for years and still don't stop. I believe that if you are experiencing pain maybe a counselor would be helpful. There could be underlying issues here which is in my opinion why people even turn to drugs. Once the pain killer is removed you must deal with yourself and that means dealing with whatever it is that caused you to continue to use in the first place.Good Luck on you journey.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ebony's spice
You said you've been clean for 3 months (a BIG congratulations!!) and you started using in March of this year. So does that mean you were only using for two and 1/2 months? (I don't mean "only" like it sounds). That is such a destructive drug, but I didn't realize it could grab you by the "cahonies" (sp - LOL) that quickly and cause you that much pain - physical and mental. Please keep us posted. I'm/we're here to listen and support you. Please give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to improve your life for you AND the baby! Good girl!!


praizewarrior 08-20-2004 11:15 PM

Great!!!!!!! Good for you!!!! I have not used meth, but I have experiences with people on it. It is a hard drug to get off. I have seen the devastation that it has wrought in people's lives and it will age you real fast as well as the people you love as they stand helplessly by and watch it take it's toll on you. It is an addiction that is hard to break, but, it can be done. Sounds like you are on the road to doing just that! Best wishes and prayers out to you!

Wingy 08-21-2004 02:21 AM

I was doing crstal before crystal was even known...I am and was a speed freak for more years than i care to count and meth was my drug of choice...it took me years and years to get clean and more years after that to recover...I hope you have yourself a good support system,...as much as i hated "meetings" they and the people there are what got me thru. Its going to get better...you gotta hang tuff and stay close to the people who love you no matter what...i still have a drug induced nightmare now and then...and i have been clean for over 10 years...pm me if you need to talk...keeping you in my prayers

Patty 08-21-2004 06:53 AM

Congratulations on getting clean I really truly hope you stay that way. I was a speed queen from way back when. It consumed my life and I thought I'd never get out from under it. It is such a destructive thing to do your mind, body and soul. I will never ever be the same from my many years of use. After using pretty steadily for about 10 years I finally laid it down about 7 years ago with a short relapse about 4 years ago. It is so strange to me to know I once liked the feeling it brought me. I am so glad that feeling that way is behind me. It is a one day at a time thing. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me...

Stay Strong,
Patty

cinderella2004 08-21-2004 08:11 AM

Its been about 15 yrs. since I snorted my last line of crank. That's when I moved outta state and away from it. We never bought big quantities and I remember we used it all up until it was gone. I remember force feeding, and hoping and praying to go to sleep. I also remember the urges - they were strong, if there was any more meth in the bag I had to do it until it was gone. It kept calling me, we would search the bars for more. Anyhow since I've been away from it if someone offered it to me now I would turn it down. But that's what worked for me - to move away from my drug infested neighborhood. It was everywhere and that was too much temptation for me. I moved outta state to a little country town where the worst they do is smoke a little home grown pot. Best wishes and keep strong, you can do it. :)

babylove 08-21-2004 05:17 PM

everyday is a struggle to get through because I cant focus on things for long periods of time like I used to. The drug gives you all this energy and ability to get things done a lot faster and easier. MY mind is so messed up, its will take years to repair the damage thsts done and the nightmares and sleepless nights are the worst part. Its hard and embarressing to talk about but I feel like I can be myself here and no one will judge me because there are people who have been through it either themselves or your man or family or friends. A good support system is always the best.

bopnomo 08-21-2004 06:39 PM

SPEED KILLS "DONT METH WITH IT"

asweetangel99 08-21-2004 07:03 PM

My ex just got busted for running a meth lab. HELLO, can we say STUPID! I guess he also was using. I havent seen him since then since he is in TX and i am in WI. But my friends have been telling me that he constantly looks "geeked" and shakes. Also, I should mention that he got blown up in the meth lab. (Somone enter with a lit cig so I am told) and he had second and third degree burns, he also had his lungs burned internally from the ether that was being used. I cannot understand why people could stand to use something that contains such deadly things. I am not here to judge and will support anyone who "rehabs" themselves. I guess my ex also will be going through a drug treatment program to get a reduced sentance for having to plead guilty to possesion of 99 grams of meth. That is a lot isnt it? I dont know these things... I hav ealso heard it is a very hard habit to kick, and would strongly recommend detox/rehad support group etc for anyone attempting to release this evil from their bodies. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

cinderella2004 08-21-2004 07:28 PM

Don't be embarrassed, it will get easier ... and about your mind. I did so much drugs in my teens - that was the 60's (i.e, acid city) and drugs in my 20s & 30s ... guess what? I have straight A's today in school, the only one in my class. See? You will be fine, hang in there and hang tough! :)

babylove 08-23-2004 12:36 AM

Relapsing after the baby is born is gonna be the hardest thing not to do and the scariest thought, also my fiancee has been struggling with this drug since he was 15 and hes 21 now, keeping him sober through support will help.

gentlemanbandit 08-24-2004 02:20 AM

Different people handle it in different ways. Some people have a harder time than others. I use to love meth,crack,pot,coke,blotter...you name it...I did it. Now I don't judge people who do it but I discovered that I can't help those who are actively doing it. I've tried. They don't listen. Your on your way. You will look back and hate it. I don't have any reactions or side effects but some people do. It's been many many years since I did any drugs. I just enjoy a clean mind now.

Littleoneinaz 08-25-2004 07:34 AM

hey girl good for you!!! I have a year and 8 months now... clean! It is a good feelinggirl.. keeo your head up hun. The cravingwill go away soon! do you smoke cigarettes? that always helped me! Ok much love girl if you ever need to talk PMMe ok!

Laters

katmat1995 08-26-2004 07:25 AM

Hey girl,

I to am trying to get clean. But from methadone not meth. I think when I lived in Texas I tried it maybe twice. ( if crank is the same thing) only I didn't like it. We all have our Drug of Choice. The sad things is. That they not only enter our lives but the ones we love. I got clean for a baby 14 years ago. And he is just perfect.
But, right now I am stuggling from the withdrawals. Which also last a long time. I wil be glad to post when I have 3months. I only have 11 days. Which is a big step for me. I am an old junkie. This time I had almost 6 years clean then here came the devil. And the thoughts that this one time want hurt. Well it did. And now I and my family suffer from my addiction. I am proud of you. I doesn't matter what drug. A drug is a drug is a drug......doesn't matter which one. They are all tuff. But, as the days past into months your mind will clear and your body will heal.
My prayers are with you and God's speed on you recovery.
Get to the meetings they really do help........Kat

chrisF 08-27-2004 09:07 PM

Hi I am also a recovering Meth addict . I have been clean for 2years but i have had a few slips which i am not proud of. In order to stay clean i had to move away from everyone I know. I didnt' just use meth though i used Crack, Coke whatever would make me stay awake for days and a time. My husband dealt whatver he could get his hands on to support my habit. We lived a terrible life people in and out of our house 24/7 our poor children i hate to even get into that. But know that we are clean things are much better. Life will get meaning back and you will find something to fill the void in your heart that you think you will never fill. TRUST ME i had the same feeling. My husband is currently serving a 10 year sentence for dealing Meth and cocaine. Have you tried to go to church believe it or not if you ask GOD to deal with it cause you can't he will. It will make your shoulders lighter and he will guide you in the right path. just believe and he will help you. i wish you all the best of luck.. GO TO MEETINGS It works , if you work it , its worth it

MissinBen 08-27-2004 09:52 PM

I teach young children whose parents are drug users and the parents have no idea how it is affecting their poor helpless children. Please for the sake of your child hang in there!!! It is worth it in every way. You are so blessed to be able to have a child of your own. I am so happy that you have made a life changing decision for yourself and your child. The happiness you will find could never compare to things in the past. The best road to take is not always the easiest and the easiest road to take is not always the best. You can do it!!! Pray and talk to people !! I am praying for you and a healthy baby :)

lil'moma 08-27-2004 09:59 PM

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been clean for a year this month. I got clean just a few weeks before I got pregnant with my son. I was Very involved in a "lab" that got busted days after I made my decision to get my life together. God was watching over me!! I used for over 2 years I think. Fortunately I didn't have very many sideaffects from it. The only thing that is really noticable to me is memoryloss. My mom gets so upset when I don't remember things that happened or that I did. I just have to remind her it was the drugs.

Just this week I had my very first "urge" to pick up the phone and make that call. Ihad the phone in my hand, but I looked over and saw my 3 month old son sleeping and it brought me back to my senses. In my situation I miss the environment more than I miss the drug.

If you are still having urges and bad dreams then I don't think it's a good idea for you to try to do this on your own. The best thing to do is find a support group. I have learned that you can't help someone get clean until they are ready. You definitly have to "change your playground and your playmates". That's the hard step. The only friends I had when I started using were users. My other friends couldn't stand to be around me. Just be strong and remember we are all here for you. If you ever need anything you can PM any of us.

Lil shy shy 08-27-2004 10:02 PM

I have never used meth before but my recently exboyfriend does. I am on the other side of how it ruins things. He is a very moody person, very unruly and just down right mean. We have a daughter together and I have an older daughter from a previous relationship and I told him until he gets help that he IS NOT going to be around me or my girls. Its all up to him now. I love him with all my heart but I love myself and my daughters more. I would support him if he wanted to get help he is a former herion addict that for some reason let me help him get help for that. Then he started doing meth. I honestly believe his mind is out of there and as much as I would like to help, I cant until he decides to help himself. He doesnt even realize what he is doing. It is scarey. I dont even think he remembers these last years of our relationship. That hurts!!! Then I find that everyone that loves him they are the bad people in his life and everyone that uses are "Good People", they can do no wrong but the loved ones he finds everything wrong with. I cant believe he doesnt see that. SO, to all who have cleaned there acts up I thank you so much for doing that. YOU and everything you do does matter and everything you do does affect everyone around you. If your miserable so are they.~~~~~ Congratulations to the clean and sober~~~~~

Haley 08-27-2004 10:35 PM

Babylove!!! I am so happy that you are not a user of meth anymore. I to used meth with my fiance. He got caught and I didn't. So i stopped right then. It is so addictive that he started selling to support his habbit and then cooking to support his habbit. He is in prison now. We have a 2 year old son, and I haven't touched in in 4 years. I was not an addict, I didn't crave it, I think I only did it cause that's what all the people did that we hung around. SO, my advise to you......don't be around people that do it or talk about it. Chris still has dreams and still shakes. He won't admit it to me, but I think he still craves it. He is in a rehabilitatio prison and is doing very well. You should try going to some classes about this. Talking to others with the same problem may help. I will keep you and the baby and your fiance in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to PM me anytime. (((HUGS))) to you,the baby,and your fiance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

babylove 08-27-2004 10:58 PM

thanks to everyone for all their prayers and support I need it a lot and it really helps reading the stories you have all told me and i hope more people could tell me their experiences also.

TragicsLady 08-27-2004 11:12 PM

:cuffs:
I started using meth when I was 14 years old, I met my fiance through my deals and we hung out with the same people. Meth destroyed my life, I quit for a year I had 2 jobs, a brand new Honda Civic , and everything I ever wanted. Then one new years it was put out in front of me and I relapsed and I got into it again BAD I went from a size 18 to a size 9 in 2 months. I over dosed 2 in a years time, It took me losing everything for me to realise that it wasn't worth it. I lost my jobs, my car, my fiance,my house, my family , jail time, and almost my life because of it. Well my SO went down and I've been clean since," 8 1/2 months." That felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had a choice the man I love or a doped up life. I now am a full time student trying to get our life back on track . My fiance may have 8-10 years ahead of him but we both see it as our wake up call. and we thank GOD because of it ..

JJT 08-28-2004 04:33 AM

Congratulations to everyone who is struggling with this addiction. High praises to those who have kicked the monkey off thier backs.

I just want to let you all know that it can be done. I never used Meth, but am now 21 years cocaine free.

You are all held in the highest esteem. I am so proud of y'all!!

JJT


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