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-   -   Does he ask for too much money, for unneeded things?? (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=543470)

QAngel 05-09-2011 11:33 AM

Does he ask for too much money, for unneeded things??
 
Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?

Larrymorales 05-09-2011 11:49 AM

My husband doesn't ask me for money ...I just send him what i can...:)

ms3D 05-09-2011 11:51 AM

omg! well i can see if he needs it for necessary things such as hygiene and letters,but all that?!?!? NO WAY. hes trying to live like a king while she struggling to maintain,and thats not fair!:(

LoveBuggy 05-09-2011 11:54 AM

Mine doesn't. He knows I'm taking care of his children and he would feel like a douche if I was sending him money for unnecessary things while his daughters did without.

That being said if you have it and don't mind giving it then who cares. Honestly if I had more money I would send it. Sometimes I wish I could do more. Now I do NOT understand women out here surviving on ramen noodles because the send tons of money to their man so they can wear Timberlands and have a playstation. A good man wouldn't allow his partner to go without.

june5 05-09-2011 12:14 PM

Nah, he doesn't. I send him money regularly. How do I decide that line in the sand...well, to me, I have to pay my bills, have money for myself to enjoy *myself* and treat *myself* (notice the *myself* lol). I am not going to skip my bills for anybody, not going to borrow money, not going to go without myself, that's my line.

It depends on how much money your friend has to give, does she have enough for her kids and herself, what kind of relationship they have, etc. If she is sending money she can't afford or he is some jerk who is just trying to take what she doesn't have, that's too bad but at the end of the day as grown women we all have to be responsible for handling our business. That's pretty much my entire opinion on the money subject.

hischubchub 05-09-2011 12:38 PM

My husband tells me not to send him money because I have more important things to buy right now. We have two children. If I try sending it, he tells me not to. I tell him to shut up, I am sending it anyway lol. He does get his basic needs from his mom though.

wife2countryboy 05-09-2011 12:38 PM

I put money on his books for hygiene,stamps,envelopes,paper,coffee, and snacks. I am not going to make it any easier on him. He is not on vacation, he is in jail. Some people don't think I should do that but I do like getting letters and a few honey buns and coffee isn't what I consider going over board. The only bad thing is, since he is in county no matter how much you put in they take half of it for "upkeep". So the items that he does get end up costing more.

FastCarGirl 05-09-2011 01:06 PM

He lived with nothing but state pay for years, so I admit, I spoil him. He asks for stuff that aren't all needs but some wants, but he accepts no when I don't have it. And he doesn't go overboard. He gets his needs and some of his wants met. I make sure I'm taken care of first and my bills are covered though. :)

thatwiz 05-09-2011 01:08 PM

What do you consider necessary? My hubby had everything-but its no where near to what he has now he's out, because you just can't have everything in jail. It comes down to lifestyle. What you consider a luxury is a basic to some. We saw jail as an entire basic-even with nice clothes, shoes and all the extras-its not the same as out here. You do what you can do, if you can't afford, he can't have it. Noone should struggle on the outside for someone on the inside. If its no struggle, who cares-thats what money is for to enjoy life. I don't think its a matter of whats enough as everyone is different. I disagree on some going without food or whatever to send their man a Playstation, but then its up to the individual to get their priorities right.

Itiswhatitis111 05-09-2011 01:09 PM

The only thing I send money for is the phone, since I am the one who he calls all the time. Other then that, I'm lucky that his parents send money for everything else :) He doesn't ever ask me for money for the phone, as he says his parents will put it on for him, but where I'm the only one he calls regularly, I feel like that is my responsibility.

QAngel 05-09-2011 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms3D (Post 6135390)
omg! well i can see if he needs it for necessary things such as hygiene and letters,but all that?!?!? NO WAY. hes trying to live like a king while she struggling to maintain,and thats not fair!:(


LOL, I thought the same thing. I know they my want to watch TV or a Radio... but playstation come on. Really?

Itiswhatitis111 05-09-2011 01:12 PM

I only send money for the phone, as I am really the only one he calls on a regular basis. Other then that, I'm lucky that his parents have sent any and all additional money that he need for everything else. He has told me that his parents will send money for the phone as well, and not to worry about it... however where is me he is usually calling, I feel that is my responsibility, and I don't mind. Some days I feel like I'd pay a rediculous amount just to hear his voice when I really need to.

4EVER4ALWAYS 05-09-2011 02:20 PM

Sometimes. Well not so much money but i send packages. I spend a lot on him but that's MY CHOICE! I have it so i do it. Have i said "no"? Yes & when i do say no he accepts it. I have no kids so i have extra money in my pockets. He's my baby & i like taking care of him but if ever i dont feel like sending anything or just cant, he understand.

nydiorgirl 05-09-2011 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QAngel
Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?

I dont give him money whats funny he sends me money for the phone for airfare to come twice a month. If he needed money I would send it to him but not for playstation if he wants that he needs to save his money he gets from working

ladyelise 05-09-2011 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QAngel (Post 6135360)
Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?

Now, if she got it like that more power to her. However, if you are getting any form of public assistance, now that's a different story. I personally find any man asking/allowing a woman to take care of him very unattractive. I don't know how much time he has left, but if she likes it I love it.

Temeron0926 05-09-2011 03:54 PM

Ray RARELY asks me for anything. Once in a blue moon he will ask for $10 and if I have it, it is his. For the most part, like currently, he sends me $10 per pacycheck (he makes a whopping $100 a month) because he knows it will help.

I bought him ONE Christmas package and ONE pair of shoes............in 17 years. He has a job, has always had a job, that is how he gets his "extras"

Triggers Wife 05-09-2011 03:57 PM

On very rare occasions, Im happy to give it better then any kinda hustle in there

Rico'sWife 05-09-2011 04:07 PM

My boyfriend doesn't ask me for money...lol...he actually tries to send it to me. He's always sending me letters with envelopes already addressed with stamps...lol. like i'm the one thats locked up. I put money on the phone account and send money to his mom. I try to do it in secret but he always finds out. If he was to ask me for money i would still send it...but i think the point where you draw the line is when they forget this is time for them to reflect on their mistakes and better themselves. if you send them to many non needed things they'll start to think its camp or something. you dont want him to get comfortable cuz when he gets out you want him to do everything in his power not to go back. IDk thats just my opinion.

stylesbycrystal 05-09-2011 04:12 PM

My boyfriend just went in but from long conversations and just reasoning with each other he expressed to me b4 he went in what he needs.... Hygiene products, shoes, food/snacks, phone time with me n family, letters, etc...... He also expressed that we must ration the money left for phone time and not go all in on it. All and all he understands what's going on

sparkyswife 05-09-2011 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QAngel (Post 6135511)
LOL, I thought the same thing. I know they my want to watch TV or a Radio... but playstation come on. Really?


WOW! not only do they have playstation, they have MP3 players and Cable channels. I use to send my Husband money every payday,but for the last year 1/2 I havent sent him a dime! And reason being, I wanted to see how real this marriage was,and you know what? His true colors came pouring out! Now I know I was just his hustle for the last six years,But I'm not mad, I get even! KARMA IS A B#^%& !!!!:angry:

rita mason 05-09-2011 04:49 PM

My hubby doesn't ask 4 much. Even when he sends a package list it's prioritized so the stuff he really needs are at the top of the list in case times are tough n i have 2 leave a few things out. The only "luxuries" he's asked for were tv's, walkman's, n cd's which are more of a necessity especially 4 a long-timer. He has brought up some suggestions that would "make life easier" 4 the both of us but I would rather support him than have him in there doing things that could get him in trouble n ruin any possibility of him ever coming home.

PrincessSinohui 05-09-2011 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparkyswife (Post 6135842)
WOW! not only do they have playstation, they have MP3 players and Cable channels. I use to send my Husband money every payday,but for the last year 1/2 I havent sent him a dime! And reason being, I wanted to see how real this marriage was,and you know what? His true colors came pouring out! Now I know I was just his hustle for the last six years,But I'm not mad, I get even! KARMA IS A B#^%& !!!!:angry:

sux to hear that!!!!:rolleyes: but hey ur absolutely RITE!!!!!! karma comes back!!!!! my hubby doesn't ask for money only visits all da time lol.... my in-laws got everything covered as in packages & other needs & for me just to go visit lol & my own gas besides that things are cool..

honeydont253 05-09-2011 05:21 PM

My boyfriend is always asking for too much money. Little by little it's starting to get to me 'cause some of the things he's asking for HE DOESN'T NEED! I tell him he's in there for a reason, but he's not listening, he insists on living like he's on a vacation. Thinking about it makes me soooo mad!

Waiting4Bradley 05-09-2011 05:39 PM

He's never asked me for anything because he doesn't want to take away from our daughter. I feel bad though because I see what the girls on here do for their men. I think me riding with him is worth more than snacks or whatever. My only fear is him getting in trouble because he hustles to get his money in there. I guess it's good he's making his own, but Idk if it's worth the risk.

GStilettos 05-09-2011 06:06 PM

He's only asked me for three things at different times since he first went in: underwear, a book, & a Kanye West cassette. I sent them all. I give when I can & because I want to. He never demands or expects.


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