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JTJwife 01-31-2014 04:52 PM

Staying lost
 
In 105 days my husbAnd will be released from prison. He will flatten his sentence.

There was quite a bit of domestic, emotional, financial, mental violence before he went to prison. Yes, I was afraid of him then and am still afraid of him now. I have thought of leaving before he gets out of prison. One of the problems I cannot figure out is how to keep him from finding me.

He has my date of birth, my social security number. All he has to do is a credit check to find me.......ok, so it may take a little longer, but he would find me. He knows people, car tag information, mail me a letter and have it returned with a correct address....there are many ways. How to stay hidden.

Tim's wife

InsomniaCT 01-31-2014 05:03 PM

Hi. There are ways to protect yourself and make yourself safer; this cannot happen if you remain with him.

I would strongly advise you to find your nearest Women's Center and speak with a Domestic Violence counselor. They can assist you in developing a safety plan as well as locating the legal resources to add to that protection. Please see someone immediately!

The web site for the National DV Hotline is here.

In every state there is 211; a social service directory that has trained operators to assist you in finding whatever social service resource you may need. Many states also have a searchable database available online that you can access. It is sponsored by the United Way and is free. From a land-line, call 211. Ask for help with domestic violence. Or, in google (whatever search engine you like), put your state and 211--this should provide the link.

I wish you the very best. Please do not settle for this life or assume you have no recourse. Get help!

NGS_lAdY 01-31-2014 05:09 PM

Contact your local Women's Domestic Abuse Shelter and they can help you!! Don't be afraid to ask for help! Also, that's the scary part about being in an Domestic Abuse Relationship is the fact yes, your spouse/boyfriend can come looking for you!
That's why I stated above get into contact with your local Domestic Abuse Shelter.

frostwoman1954 01-31-2014 05:10 PM

Hi!

if you are willing to move to a different state, most battered women's support programs can help get you to an out of state shelter. You can also have your SSN changed if you are a battered woman. Call the Nat'l DV Hotline @ 800-799-7233 and they can help you.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Michele

nimuay 01-31-2014 06:00 PM

So there you go - there is help, and you now know about it. If you reach out, you will get help. Please, do it soon! Please!

And think about the one good thing about disappearing . . . it takes about a year for an abuser to lose interest and ensnare a new target. That's probably all you need to do - stay lost for a little while with the help of the domestic abuse people.

Mayzie 02-01-2014 12:30 PM

Contacting a women's shelter is important. But you may want to consider filing for a divorce. You can also get a restraining order, this will protect you and any other people that he has threatened. For the restraining order all you have to do is list out the times that he has threatened to kill you or your loved ones. With the restraining order he will not be able to contact you in any way or come within x amount of feet of you. If you report him violating the restraining order he will be instantly arrested. I know that you are worried about him tracking you down and you are afraid for your life but you have options and it's better to get out now, especially since he still has a few months left in prison, then to wait until after he has been released. Think about your kid/kids and about what is best for them in the long run. Life insurance is not going to protect them, they need their mother. If you have to move then move, you need to do what is best for your safety and your family's safety. I sincerely hope that you do get help and get away from this guy.

bumblebee37 02-03-2014 07:44 AM

Yeah you need to talk to.them, maybe even enter the shelter but sometimes if they feel you are in immediate danger they help you relocate. And for sure you need a restraining order but understand it has to be served on him and if you violate it by being scared and going around him then you also can be arrested (the order works both ways)
Its sad when another makes us feel this threatened. I wish I could help you. Those individuals working in the shelters are very smart when dealing with situations like this....go talk with them.

ummthinkin 04-05-2014 10:40 PM

Social security
 
yo
If you really are serious about leaving your local police have programs that will relocate you as well because of domestic violence you can have your social changed as well use a different name.
Its worth it ..

Quote:

Originally Posted by JTJwife (Post 7286041)
In 105 days my husbAnd will be released from prison. He will flatten his sentence.

There was quite a bit of domestic, emotional, financial, mental violence before he went to prison. Yes, I was afraid of him then and am still afraid of him now. I have thought of leaving before he gets out of prison. One of the problems I cannot figure out is how to keep him from finding me.

He has my date of birth, my social security number. All he has to do is a credit check to find me.......ok, so it may take a little longer, but he would find me. He knows people, car tag information, mail me a letter and have it returned with a correct address....there are many ways. How to stay hidden.

Tim's wife



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