I'll take this as a moment to give everyone the whole silly story.... Mine is a sort of tangled story... I first met My Whateverheis nearly 22 years ago, when I was 15 and dating a friend of his, I fell in lust at first sight then grew genuinely fond of him as the weeks passed, then one day, I heard him laugh out loud for the first time and that was that, I lost a piece of my soul to this reckless, untamed, redheaded James Dean reincarnate....and couldn't do a damn thing about it (His brother had already taken away my boyfriend's former fiancee....) but we landed in bed one Halloween (Wrong, wrong, wrong but......) and I haven't been the same since.... Boyfriend and I broke up, partly over that, mostly over other things....My redhead and I crossed paths now and then for the next few years and I was terrified that he might realize I took him seriously and vanish from my life in a cloud of dust...his taste in women always ran to dramatic, high maintainence party dolls and I'm a reserved, intellectually driven, serious minded bookworm...figured I had no chance at all to hold his interest as anything more than a pal and playmate... it was not what I wanted but a lot more than I was willing to risk losing.
Life, as it tends to do, went on....I never quite got over him but moved along.... got married, got divorced,went to college.....All the while thinking of him often and everytime I ran into him, spent a while mourning what might have been.....7 years ago, I met my second husband, a couple of years ago, we moved to Montana.....last January, word finally reached me that my Whateverheis was about to be tried for 1st degree murder....I stewed a week or so, then wrote him at the County jail... a short, cautious note with a picture enclosed because I was not positive he'd recall my name without a face to go with it....He wrote back immediately, a letter that began.... "Oh, Girl, it is so good to hear from you! You must have caught my vibe one of those times I was thinking of you..."
In my next letter, I wrote that I didn't know if he ever knew it, but that he'd always mattered to me a great deal, that I'd never said anything for fear of his vanishing in the aforementioned cloud of dust.... the response to that was a simple and heartbreaking "Yes, I always cared for you, and I still do..." backed up by a stunning collection of little memories I'd carried for 20+ years and never dreamed he'd held them as well..... He was convicted before I could get to California to see him, but I was there before sentencing in March, as soon as I laid eyes on him again, I knew nothing had changed or dulled with time....I had to be the one to tell his mom that he'd been moved out of county and was headed for reception... and have been writing, visiting every chance I get, keeping in touch with his appellate lawyers, etc ....I don't know what the future holds but I'll never let him out of my life again, come what may, he's stuck with me....and my husband, bless his generous heart, accepts it.
In memory of Mrs. Dragoness
Speak your mind-
Even if your voice shakes
Everytime you smile, a flower blooms somewhere in the world.
Last edited by LeBeau; 02-01-2006 at 08:21 AM..