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Old 09-05-2006, 10:38 PM
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DaveMoff DaveMoff is offline
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I have been "in treatment" twice. The first place was co-ed, the second was not. There were only a few women at the first facility--I don't recall anyone pairing off while I was there. I do recall that the men got a fair number of lectures on the subject and that one guy did get kicked out for hooking up with a woman staying at another treatment center just down the street. For my part I acquired several female friends, as I had no interest in hitting on any of them and once that became clear, I was "safe" and became everyone's confidant. It seemed an honor and I respected it as such.

One of the women returned to an abusive relationship after she finished treatment--I hope she's ok but things sure didn't look good back then. Several of the guys were simply "serving their time" and more than one didn't even succeed in making it through the 28 days.

The second place was all men, though strangely, better than half of the staff were women. They were using what they claimed to be an "experimental treatment program" which I now believe to be a bunch of snake oil used to get various state and federal programs to pay the bills. I was so annoyed with the program, or lack thereof (how many days of lectures consisting of "it doesn't matter....let go...." can one take?) that I hardly noticed any of the other residents. After 25 days of killing time I grew tired of being treated like a prisoner (which was how the place was run) and signed out. Bought a bottle on the way home, in fact.

A few months later I was shipped off to yet another facility, this time being threatened with 90 days' incarceration there after a two-week "evaluation". The place was co-ed; I hardly noticed. When it became obvious that the program was something resembling Synanon and I began asking pointed questions, especially of one counselor, said counselor took me into his office and assaulted me. I packed my bag and walked out. No one stopped me. And no action was ever taken against the counselor.

I moved to a different part of the state shortly afterwards and, after a relapse of less than two weeks, straightened out more or less on my own and remain sober to this day.

I can certainly sympathize with women in particular who may run into a bunch of unwanted crap in a co-ed facility. That sort of thing doesn't help anyone and is to be avoided. But I can only say that in my own experience, during which I took care to regard other clients as I do other AA members, as my brothers and sisters, I saw no problem. Now, I could write a whole book about guys who try to meet women in AA, but.....those of you who've been there probably know it all too well.

It may not be popular with many, but I am all in favor of co-ed treatment centers. If one cannot handle being around the opposite sex in the sheltered environment of a treatment center, what happens when you finish treatment? I do recognize there are some gender issues here which need to be addressed separately, but frankly, rehab should be a reintroduction to the world, not a refuge from it. And in the world, people come in two basic models.
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