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Old 01-19-2019, 12:57 AM
momof234 momof234 is offline
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Originally Posted by Lexanianna View Post
I don't mean this as life being better without him (honestly, if that's the case you probably shouldn't be together).

For me and my man him going to jail changed a lot. But not just negative. After we overcame the first period of chock and doubt and grief and anger things started heading in a very positive direction. Before he went to jail I had just graduated university and I was unemployed and really struggling financially. Him going to jail forced me to move back to Sweden where I have gone back to university to get a second degree in medicine and nursing and I have a job on top of that. This means in the future I will be financially stable and in a position to look after both of us.
My man was severely depressed and was heading in a dangerous direction regarding drugs and some of his "friends" were taking advantage of him (which is why he is in jail unfortunately). Since he was locked up he's told his "friends" to eff off, he's taken a class in stress management and his depression has gotten better. He's also taking a TAFE course in welding and is working full time.
And we have gotten so much closer! We can only talk every second day and write letters which take 2-4 weeks, but this has led us to become so much stronger both separately and as a couple. We are better at communicating, we talk things through instead of arguing, we don't keep things from each other and we have a much higher level of trust for each other.

As difficult as this is and as much as we miss each other we truly believe that this time apart will be better for us in the long run.
I think for myself Iíve learned to slow down and trust myself more. And being ok with/accepting the unknown. It has taught me to be more patient, in many areas of my life. I think Iíve also learned better boundaries. It used to be that I had to ask all my closest girlfriends and my therapists for them to weigh in on whatever relationship issue big stuff that Iíve been confronted with now I may still do that but ultimately I will trust and rely on myself to do that the right thing. My work and my career ambition has improved
Of coursevare a lot of things that have been extremely stressful and difficult Iíve felt lonely and trying to find my feet. But I think itís a good question to ask about any difficult situation to look for the positive/growth opportunities. Thanks for the topic
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