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Old 02-06-2019, 09:15 AM
Cole2013 Cole2013 is offline
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E,
Very well said. I was going to give my opinion as a women about to go in but I couldn't say it any better.

One of my fears about getting a PP is I don't want to make anyone feel I am using them. I don't plan on asking for anything at all. I think this will be a nice way to socialize and give me and hopefully them a chance at a good friendship, based on no lies. On my end I wont have anything to loose. The worst of me, will be me sitting in prison, which duh they will already know about. LOL But I hate people that use others in anyway.

Your reply was right on. I did giggle over the $50 or less because you are correct that would get an inmate shampoo and such and maybe a snack or two. I hate how they increase the price for their gain. But I am sure they need to make that $1.20 lunch money back some how. I realize we broke the law and I am not against paying the price but in my jail we ate at 0630, 1300 and 1730. That was it, you didn't like the meal or in my case couldn't keep the meal in my stomach, well too bad you ate only when it was meal time. So sometimes it was nice to eat a snack or soup when I could keep it down.

I want to thank you men for supporting in any manner the women in your lives, because even just writing a letter helped keep my mind normal. I was only in jail for 26-days and looking at a lot longer when I turn myself in.

Sorry for rambling, just wanted to say good advice.

Cole



Quote:
Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
Honestly?


You don't.


Technically, any sort of support they glean from you is "using" you. People use other people to meet their social needs. So any sort of interaction can be considered "using" someone.


It's just that some forms of "using" a person are considered healthy and others are not.


If there's a fair exchange and a mutual respect, then this could be considered "healthy."


If someone is just seeking to bleed you dry? Not so much.


In medical I'm not really sure what she could be needing all that much money for. If you're sending in a few dollars a month (let's say under $50) so she can get some better hygiene and maybe a few treats, I'd say that's probably acceptable.


If you're sending in hundreds of dollars, you're probably paying off drug debts or something of that nature in which case....well, I guess the question is, are you comfortable with that?


Whether or not she sticks with you when she hits the gate regardless of whether you cut the funds or not....is honestly something you won't know until she gets there.


These relationships, whether you met them through a pen pal site or knew them before, always always ALWAYS come with risk. Dee can be a handful at times, but, as I joke, she's "my handful." Like I said to her recently, "I love you, but damn it Dee, sometimes you frustrate the living hell out of me." (There are mental health/substance abuse issues with her....you're welcome to go browsing as far back in my history as you need to if you want to read about our experience.) Just keep in mind...you're not getting a girl scout. You're getting an inmate. These people may be good-hearted and kind-spirited, but they didn't get where they are by holding a bake sale (well, a cannabis-free bake sale, anyway.) Depending on their level of criminality, their tendency to lie and manipulate may be strong. And unfortunately, as I've learned, sometimes they may love you to no end and still be prone to the sort of thinking that put them in prison. So....proceed with caution. I hope it works out for you. If it's meant to be, you'll come through. But just.....careful. That's all I can suggest. Careful.


-E
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