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Old 02-11-2019, 03:07 PM
KiwiPP KiwiPP is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
You know, I used to have that view.


At this point, if Dee's doing that, she can go f--- herself. (No, really. She can. No, really. And no, it's not harsh. No more harsh than it was for her to expect me to clean up all her messes and if I didn't then I could go f--- myself anyway.)


At some point you have to be able to let them get themselves out of trouble. Your gut may be right. And it used to be when my gut said what your gut said, I was off to save the day and do damage. God forbid anyone hurt my Dee.


What did she learn by me doing that? That literally any time she had a hard patch in life, I would save her. And that continued for years.


At some point you just have to let them figure that crap out for themselves. Regardless of consequence. Do you want to find yourself in a bad spot because he made stupid decisions and you in turn put yourself in a stupid situation to "make it right"?


Just........I might be projecting a little here, but no. Please. Don't do that.


-Eric
Projecting or not, you are 100% correct. Protecting/saving an addict is enabling an addict. They need to deal with the consequences of their actions. Itís a very hard line to walk when you love someone so deeply. But all this does is keep them deep in their addiction, they need to be responsible and accountable for the situations they put themselves in, recovery will never be possible otherwise. As the widow of an addict, my heart goes out to anyone and their loved ones dealing with this disease. It is truly heartbreaking.
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