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Old 02-11-2019, 09:47 PM
AAH14589 AAH14589 is offline
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Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
You know, I used to have that view.

At this point, if Dee's doing that, she can go f--- herself. (No, really. She can. No, really. And no, it's not harsh. No more harsh than it was for her to expect me to clean up all her messes and if I didn't then I could go f--- myself anyway.)

At some point you have to be able to let them get themselves out of trouble. Your gut may be right. And it used to be when my gut said what your gut said, I was off to save the day and do damage. God forbid anyone hurt my Dee.

What did she learn by me doing that? That literally any time she had a hard patch in life, I would save her. And that continued for years.

At some point you just have to let them figure that crap out for themselves. Regardless of consequence. Do you want to find yourself in a bad spot because he made stupid decisions and you in turn put yourself in a stupid situation to "make it right"?

Just........I might be projecting a little here, but no. Please. Don't do that.

Oh I agree whole heartedly. It sounded sickeningly comforting in certain moments, but if that's reality, I'm with you, fuck him. Fuck him.
I think, at least for me, I tend to look for ways in which to prove to myself that he really did/does love me, because the alternative... Not something I'm willing to face right now
I actually backed off and have done just that, somehow I was able to finally admit the pattern to myself and realized I had to try and change it. Wasn't long at all before ending up here in prison talk chatroom, with my head spinning around the room, looking at a mugshot of someone I used to share my life with whos dead lifeless eyes are almost completely unrecognizable. Luckily my thoughts last night never made it past the key board.
This doesn't get easier does it? You just learn to live with it

*Dear Judge,
I know he might not look like much to you. My only request, is that you tread lightly on our hearts, because to me, he's my whole world...*
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The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to AAH14589 For This Useful Post:
BearsLadyBear (02-12-2019), KiwiPP (02-12-2019), missingdee (02-12-2019), nawlinsrainy (02-15-2019)