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Old 10-23-2019, 08:26 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is offline
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There sure is alot of misinformation and confusion over how to set up things.
My dad is the primary source for how my folks spend their money.
While he's ok, we get quite concerned with his impulsivity.
Case in point.
He still drives. (he's 85)
And while he's not a crazy driver, he's not like he used to be. Not as sharp. He backed into a planter in a parking lot a few weeks ago. Not the first time he's done something similar. Not a huge deal and he seemed to be upset that he didnt see it.
it was in back of where he was backing out from (off to the side) since he likes to park in the handicapped spaces. (understandable for my mom who's mobility is not so hot)
Anyway.......he told me about it, and said he was not gonna claim it to insurance. Not a huge dent but the car isnt that old. I wanna say its a 2015?
So.........my dad was admiring my sisters new Subaru. He especially likes the back up camera. Says it is better than the one in his car.
After a few times of going in my sisters car and asking her all sorts of questions about it....he decides he gonna go talk to the dealership.

Both sister and I suggest he check out other dealers as well before making a decision. Like Toyota, VW, Honda, etc.
(he's been a Toyota fan for a few yrs now)
When my sister told me he was gonna see the dealer....I said he will come back with a care today. You watch.
Sure enough....they got a subaru crosstrek or something like that. Its a smaller suv with alot of the bells and whistles he wanted.
I was frustrated in that they really dont need a car like that, but ok. Just check out other cars too.
Its the exact same thing with everything with him and really sort of has been that way for quite a while now.

He does not want to do any homework, to see if its the best fit for them.


Did this with 3 houses. One in CA they wanted to sell to move to HI when they retired. Then from HI back to CA and then once they really started having health problems....they sold that place and moved into a rental my sister owns.
They have a trust.
They say they want to leave us something when they Kick the Bucket. (how they put it)
So we say....dad......what if you die first. He insists he wont. Mom will (cause he said so) My mom wants to go to an assisted living type place. Well that is super expensive and my father refuses to consider it. He even refuses to consider moving even tho the place they are living in now is difficult for my mom (shower getting in and out, and steps to get outside to either the car, or the laundry room)


All my sister and I want him to do is to maybe go see an attny who does elder care work. Review all his *stuff* See if it still works.
He wants his money accessible. Understood. But what if he cant make decisions any longer? He wont qualify for any assistance for *free* because he gets too much.
its so frustrating. Mostly for my sister. Ive resigned myself to the fact that when shits hits the fan.....and it will....he will be kicking himself over it.
None of us kids give a rip if there is anything left over to inherit. But we'd rather my folks be happy.
And trying to look up info is really tough.


Sorry so long. I guess this is more like a rant than anything else.
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