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Old 06-16-2005, 01:26 PM
PSMITH3127 PSMITH3127 is offline

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 312
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Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Talking wow .. a lot of good women done wrong on here!

hello my name is Patricia and I have posted many a times on here about my situation. Which isnt as similar as everyone's but obviously in some ways it is, Scott is an inmate.. We have been on a hell of a roller coaster ride for the last year for sure! He is the father of our 6 year old son and just this last year got to meet his son and has finally taken the DNA test last week and has finally acknowledged our son. That is a good thing and a blessing. We made it for 9 months, then it turned very ugly and mean and we totally broke up for 2 to 3 months. As many of you have said, it is hard to let go, I felt so bad walking out when he was in prison. I was the one who started all of our trouble i must say. ( those 10 page angry letters can be mean!) and i got plenty back from him also. Scott has completely changed now. He was moved to a minimum yard, the case that was hanging over his head ( possibility of a lot more time) is gone and dismissed and spiritually he is in such a better place!! I went to visit him 2 weeks ago with our son and he blew me away!! He smiled the whole visit, hugged his son, played with him almost the whole visit and showed me more affection then he had those first 9 months!! i was astounded at the apologies and truths that came out of his mouth!! we have decided that we will use the complete break up as a stepping stone to a new start, and instead of us jumping into to it completely, we are going to learn to be best friends, best parents and then get to where we both want to be eventually which is together... he called last night again and told me that he is so happy with us now, so relaxed, doesnt feel pressured and wants me more then he ever has in the 10 year history we have together.. thinks about me and us all the time and cant wait for our visit in 2 weeks... i was blown away!
Now I am not sure what I want exactly anymore. It takes a hell of a toll to go throught he hell we did and once you have been discarded it takes a lot to open back up and trust enough to give 100% again... it's almost like the tables have turned around and now he is more attached to us then I am in some ways.. I still love Scott, and I could still see us together, but I dont feel that I will die if it doesnt happen and he only comes to visit our son as opposed to us being a complete family. It's in God's hands and I will trust that he will lead me to the right place..

So some stories do end up with a happy note. We still have 12 months to do, as friends for sure and working on the other, but I can say with all honesty that this time, I have absoultely no complaints so far.. As a matter of fact , he is the one that mentioned " interstate compact" to Texas last night!
How cool is that.....
Thanks for listening and I wish all of you the best and may God be with you all on your difficult journeys through all of this prison stuff...
Sincerely, Patricia
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