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Old 10-18-2016, 07:47 AM
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Originally Posted by baby77 View Post
hello everyone, I hope you are having a nice day , Im new to this but I really need any advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for three years, during the first two and a half everything was awesome, we never argued or had any problem.
One day he told me he was going to get a cellphone so he could call me everyday for free, but I got angry and I told him not do it because he only had one more year to come home and I didnt want him to get in trouble or catch more time..he got the cellphone anyway and called me. I was angry because I really trust him for a long time and I thought he wasnt going to do anything wrong never, so I told him he could keep the cellphone but if he got in trouble I was going to leave him..everything changed since that. For the last 6 months I've been feeling so deppresed because he started to write and call less, to sound like very bad most of the time..I knew something wasnt right, so he ended up telling me that since I said If he got in trouble I was going to leave, he started to use drugs again, heroin, and drinking almost every day. He said he got deppresed and devastated since I said that and now he is a drogadict and a alcoholic again.He said that I dont feel unconditional love for him saying that.
At the start I thought it was his fault to use drugs again and I only said that because I was worrying about him and I just didnt want him to get in trouble.. it would be awesome for me to talk everyday with him with a cellphone for free but I rather to use the normal payphone knowing that he is not taking any risks..but lately I've been feeling very guilty and sad and mean for telling him that, I dont know if its my fault, Im getting really deppresed.
I've always proved him how much I love him, I live in Europe and travel from here several times to visit and everything, I've always been by his side, but he says he cant forget those words.. I dont know..
Did anybody have any exprience like this? what I should do now?Im very confused and hurt..
thank you so much for taking the time to read this.. I really appreciate it
Anyone that blames another for their actions and choices is not taking responsibility for their own life. You are not and never will be the reason he chooses to use or get into trouble.

It sounds to me like you have lost yourself while trying to prove to this guy that you love him. He is an addict, plain and simple and his life will NOT change until he is ready. No matter how much you love him, you will not keep him clean.

I suggest you get yourself to some Nar-Anon meetings and start your own recovery program. Living and loving someone addicted is NOT a fun journey and we must take action to learn all we can about addiction and learn to detach from those that are addicted. We also learn that we oftentimes enable those we love to continue down the path of destruction.

Relationships are difficult enough without adding addiction to the picture, so be gentle with yourself, get to some meetings and start to take your power back.
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