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Old 07-10-2015, 12:34 AM
Taralynn214 Taralynn214 is offline
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Originally Posted by Cutepixie View Post
Enabling is tricky. It's allowing anyone who has a behavior with negative consequences to continue that behavior and creating excuses or even assisting in that behavior. You may have sympathy for individuals but if you were to know someone had an addiction to a drug and continued to give them money, is enabling. If you knew someone loved to eat food and was gaining an unnatural amount of weight and you knew about the health risks but continued to buy the food they asked for, that's enabling.

You can enable individuals with poor personality traits as well Making excuses for their behavior instead of making them take accountability. That is what enabling is.

I was once a heroin addict and through my experiences I have seen many forms of enabling. You can feel empathy or even sympathy for a person and not enable them to use. There were people I generally cared about that I could no longer be friends with because it jeopardized my sobriety. You tell someone that you can no longer help them when you see that your "help" is actually killing them. You let them know that the help you are willing to give is for them to seek counseling/therapy, or some level of a treatment program. Sometimes it does cause an issue for example:

I have a friend whom I love dearly. This friend has a substance abuse problem that later turns into a full blown addiction...and her behavior turns for the worst. I always tell her when she gets to that point that she is always willing to call me for support, or assistance. Other than that she knows I will not give her money or anything else to support her habit or her behavior. It always ends up creating a conflict and we don't speak for a long time, this is my best friend. Which is sad to watch someone do a downward spiral like that, it's like you want to shake them, help them, but the individual has to be the one that makes the change. We can be there during to give them support to dust them off and give them a hug at the end. It's hard. Hugs to all those who have suffered through addiction or have a loved one suffering through one.
It sure is tricky. Usually before we are really aware there is a problem the addict has already begun the game playing. It is almost like they become master manipulators overnight and prey upon our emotions. When you see your child hurting and struggling and you just want to make it all better Nobody wants to see them suffer but they may need to if they want a real shot at sobriety
I try and explain it to people that yes that may look like your LO, same voice, same mannerisms but on the inside its not him anymore
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