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pritybrown · #1 12-23-2005, 09:51 PM

I was curious to know what do DR women/me do about sex if you don't have conjugal visit? When you marry him/her it is supposed to be just the two of you making love but you can't so do you not have sex or you do with someone else? I don't understand how that works.....sex is not everything but we are human.

gabbygirl372001 · #2 12-23-2005, 10:08 PM

yes we are human, and we do have needs. My guy isnt on DR but, still I do have needs. have you ever heard of phone sex? its a great alternative if you need it. If not, then you need to figure out what works for you. Talk to your man, and decide what works. Then GO FOR IT!

pritybrown · #3 12-23-2005, 10:18 PM

Well my fiance is not on DR and that is why I was curious to how these girls do it. I have tried phone sex but it is clearly not the same.

HardHeadedWoman · #4 12-23-2005, 11:14 PM

BOB = battery operated buddy

pritybrown · #5 12-24-2005, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hrtbrokenmom

BOB = battery operated buddy

lol, lol...I am with that but I only have a few more years left. Is that enough for the rest of someones life? I don't know...

sharonno1 · #6 12-24-2005, 07:48 AM

my guy is on dr battery operated buddy and phone sex beleive me it is as real as the real thing lol

LovinHim · #7 11-12-2006, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharonno1

my guy is on dr battery operated buddy and phone sex beleive me it is as real as the real thing lol

Not as real as the real thing but as close as you're going to get.

Thats the only way round this. I love me DR man but sex is not the be all end all in a relationship. Use your imagination....it works wonders!

liberaldog · #8 12-24-2005, 09:47 AM

I've only been with my guy a few months, and it's hard, but there is no way I could be with anyone else. You just learn to deal with it. Im remaining faithful til the end.

Javlin · #9 12-24-2005, 10:00 AM

Hot letters, dirty talk -showing stuff in visit. People get very creative when they can't touch or have sex. It's hard but the BOB is a good friend in hard times

I've been faithful and I will stay faithful because sexing someone else is not worth risking what I have with my baby

pritybrown · #10 12-24-2005, 07:25 PM

Ladies, I have to give you credit for that.

imissyou39 · #11 12-25-2005, 01:10 AM

well my man is not on DR but i have learn that BOB and phone sex and XXX movies work for me. there has been times when he would call and say baby I really need you right now and i know what htat mean. so I ask what would you like. that how we has made it for the last 3 1/2 yrs. along with our inmaganation.

RegisSweetness · #12 01-06-2006, 11:38 AM

yes i agree that the battery operated buddy is cool...in collaboration with my husband's sexy voice on the other end of that phone.........ooooh it takes me there. but we also share intimacy in other ways like our letters, dirty talk, teasing eachother on visits, and just being open with eachother about our feelings for eachother.
ive been faithful from day one with him and i will continue to be faithful cuz i love him. thats my husband and i made the choice to marry and love him under these unfortunate circumstances, so i will ride it all out with him.

DaveMoff · #13 01-06-2006, 11:17 PM

My dear friend on Death Row is such a lovely person in every way....there is certainly a physical attraction involved in our relationship, but since we cannot so much as hold hands or hug (or even write in intimate detail when all of our correspondence is photocopied and could well be used against during ongoing proceedings--I mention that as a word of caution), we've learned in a sense, to put that sort of thing "on hold".

Mind, when the court gets its act together and sets her free, I'll be waiting at that gate. And after she comes out....who knows? I think we may just end up disappearing somewhere for several weeks....

jude · #14 01-07-2006, 07:49 AM

Only several Weeks!? LOL I have a few months in mind!

Joy · #15 01-07-2006, 11:45 AM

You know, in the "pro" death penalty camp that is discussed a lot. However, my and my husband's personal life like that is really none of their business. What matters is that we are happy with what we do and how we are and it's no one's business if our "sex" life or any other part of life isn't "normal" to other's standards. So, basically it's no one's business :-)

DaveMoff · #16 01-07-2006, 04:42 PM

Well, I'm not counting my....whatever, until the plot hatches....she has a son and a mother as well, and will certainly need time for both. My hope is to take the lot of them somewhere where we can all become reacquainted and no one will have to worry about being bothered by the media, etc.

Might indeed take a while....

03 B&C · #17 01-10-2006, 12:00 AM

My sweetie has been gone for a long time and it is just recently that we got family visits. Before that we did the phone, letter, sex toy thing which does work but I will admit there were periods where I was really frustrated with that crap lol! Personally I had to pray about it but I would literally get angry and grumpy since I wasn't getting any lol! I asked God to take the desire from me and although it never went completely away I had a lot more control over it.

Friends4ever · #18 02-07-2006, 04:38 PM

Sexlife... oohh you get creative - steaming hot letters and BOB - i don't get any phone calls - but he defiantly takes me there anyway - he's got a way with words.
Obviously I would give almost anything for it to be different - and if (he's on DR) they ever let him out....

Boy!!!!

DaveMoff · #19 02-09-2006, 03:45 PM

It's very strange....when I think of being "intimate" with my friend, the images that come to mind are quite restrained. I imagine brushing her hair, caressing her, just snuggling with her and talking softly. I would love to hold her in my arms while she fell asleep, just letting her know she was safe and loved with my touch.

Mind, if and when we have the opportunity to meet, all that may go straight out the window. Time will tell. For now I dream mainly of comforting her, of offering the touch she has not known for nearly a decade.

augusteve18 · #20 02-10-2006, 05:56 AM

i am faithfult to my woman inside, but I really think its ok to cheat online. Its erotic, safe, and you can still think of your partner. I think given our circumstances, it could be much worse!

MsSchema · #21 02-11-2006, 10:00 PM

The way my boyfriend put the "sex issue" to me was this, I put myself here. I can't exspect you to go without. Just don't fall in love with them...If our partners take good care of us emotionally and are good friends through visists and mail, then we won't fall in love with anyone else...I do occasionally have sex with male friends...Not a bunch of men just two dear friends, they just want what I want, too be comforted from a cruel and unusual world....No guilt here. My man is aware.

a little crazys kinda nice, don't you think???

DaveMoff · #22 02-11-2006, 10:22 PM

I think it is important to make clear the difference between "having sex" and "making love". Those of us who have experience both will know that difference, as I think several on this thread obviously do. If you have "needs" and your love has no objection, who am I (or anyone else) to say otherwise?

My love and I may well never touch....it is hard to say. There seems to be good reason to hope she will be freed someday soon and if so....who can say what will happen when we first meet "for real" and have some time alone, which we both already know we both want. For now I am celibate, not directly because of her but because I don't know that I could offer the proper respect to a sexual partner that a woman consenting to intimacy deserves. That may change...who can say?

For now my greatest hope in all the world is that, when next I "make love", it will indeed be with the one I love above all others.

Friends4ever · #23 02-12-2006, 02:54 AM

I think it's difficult...

Obviously I have sexual needs as an adult - but I would say that my needs are more of to have someone to eat dinner with, to watch a movie with, visit a museum, go to a galleri or just have a nice conversation with.
I miss that a lot.
Through our letters we talk and talk - but it will still never be the same as to actually sit together with that person on a friday night and just talk.
I'm not sure what excatly to do about it...
I have just turned 28 - and he's on DR. They might never let him out or it could be another 10 years.

haswtch · #24 06-25-2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveMoff

I think it is important to make clear the difference between "having sex" and "making love". Those of us who have experience both will know that difference, as I think several on this thread obviously do. If you have "needs" and your love has no objection, who am I (or anyone else) to say otherwise?

My love and I may well never touch....it is hard to say. There seems to be good reason to hope she will be freed someday soon and if so....who can say what will happen when we first meet "for real" and have some time alone, which we both already know we both want. For now I am celibate, not directly because of her but because I don't know that I could offer the proper respect to a sexual partner that a woman consenting to intimacy deserves. That may change...who can say?

For now my greatest hope in all the world is that, when next I "make love", it will indeed be with the one I love above all others.

The parts I highlighted say a lot of the complicated and yet very simple way I feel about this...I just can't even think about traveling that road with anybody else. It just wouldn't be doing me or them any favors.
I know because I slipped, a couple years ago now, got drunk and let an ex get his hands on me. It felt so spiritually icky that it forced me (and he forced me, if I wanted to keep going over there and talking to him

) to take a long, calm look at my whole history with men. And for that matter with drinking.
I sorta quit both.
I still believe that Eros is a gift from God/Goddess and meant to be shared by free will of people past puberty, and that the Moral Majority is neither. I'd like to see a divorce granted to the words "sex and violence" because I believe that's a trip the lying classes lay on the young to make them better cannon fodder. I used to, quite honestly now, take on multiple partners in a day, people I loved and knew well and ran with, just playing like a young animal. And darned if I would trade my memories for anyone's.
And the absolute only thing I feel like doing with that part of my soul right now is waiting to see what he is like and tryin to cuddle some of the hurt out of him every which way I know how. Being celibate right now is somehow just as much about fun and learning as all them wild oats I done sowed. It's just God's next gift

If anybody had told me at nineteen that this was in my future I'd never have believed it.

Burlesque011 · #25 01-08-2013, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSchema

The way my boyfriend put the "sex issue" to me was this, I put myself here. I can't exspect you to go without. Just don't fall in love with them...If our partners take good care of us emotionally and are good friends through visists and mail, then we won't fall in love with anyone else...I do occasionally have sex with male friends...Not a bunch of men just two dear friends, they just want what I want, too be comforted from a cruel and unusual world....No guilt here. My man is aware.

a little crazys kinda nice, don't you think???

Holly crap i found another man who said that! Mine says the same, that "lets be realistic" if the shoe was the other way around he'd be getting it elsewhere and i have three rules, don't tell him, dont get pregnant, dont fall in love.

Kinda happy i found someone else in the same shoes.