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EuropeGirl_27 · #1 03-14-2008, 03:10 PM

Hi!

I´m thinking for writing someone on death row. I have a question it says he is on death row does that automatically mean he´ll die one day or that he is in until he will die naturally?

I´m just asking, he´s only 24 and I feel sorry for this guy.

his pic was made in a little white "cage" cell

I´m not sure if I can handle if he´ll be killed ... I know he is in for a bad reason but arent we all people?

Thx. bbye

Kateeh · #2 03-14-2008, 10:18 PM

Death row means he mostly likely will be executed by the state he's in. There are a couple legal exceptions: he could have his sentence “commuted,” which means his sentence could be changed to life without parole, or if he's really lucky and new evidence comes along that proves innocence then he could one day be free. So, mostly likely he will be killed by the state. He could die naturally, but death row means murder.

I just started writing a guy on death row myself and already I can tell that when he is executed I will be wreck. But, I think about how much we can learn from each other and how I have the power to let him know what's going on out here. Most people on DR are in their cells 23 hours a day. So, they could really use friendship, letters to look forward to and, maybe have a reason to keep on living. I find that people who've had DR friends that have already been executed would never take the experience back!

And, yes, we are all people and we all make mistakes. Kudos to you for seeing that!

EuropeGirl_27 · #3 03-15-2008, 04:52 AM

Thanks for ur answer Kateeh! I know its so sad, I´d like to be his friend even I already know it´ll break my heart if they are going to kill him one day

**Rachel** · #4 03-15-2008, 05:02 AM

I second what Kateeh says.
I had a very special friend on DR and he was executed a couple of years back.
I don't regret a single moment of our friendship, even now I think of some of the good times we had together and how much he taught me about myself.

The thing with life is that we don't fully live until we are able to reach out to all around us.
Live gently with compassion and patience and you will be rewarded with love.

So - go for it - I wish you many, many years of rewarding friendship.

Rach x

sweetnina · #5 03-15-2008, 05:23 AM

Yeah, it will be hard sometimes. There will be good times and bad times and deep experiences with a very special friendship you can only have this way. It will change your life definitely. And you need to be strong to stand by his side, no matter what will happen one day.
But you get back alot. You will learn alot about life.
I knew from the beginning that I could stand it because I went through alot in my life. I expected a nice friendship and somebody who would be happy to get some support and friendship from me...
What I got back was something I NEVER expected.
The guys in there did horribles mistakes but they deserve people like you to help them standing their time in a human way, being treated with respect and dignity.
Think about it because it is a big responsibility to give somebody hope and love back. But its also a big, big gift YOU will get back.

txred9876 · #6 03-17-2008, 02:13 AM

I currently write a couple of guys on death row (that was never my intention origionaly). It has been nearly a year now and I can say it has been very rewarding experience so far. I am not sure how I am going to handle an eventual execution but that could be many, many years down the road. I suggest writing.... one never knows what a rewarding experience until you try.

Tina

cornered · #7 04-10-2008, 10:01 PM

On topic/off topic topic-
I think what would help is if there was a sticky listing ALL of the death row inmates. And in the first couple paragraphs cover this very discussion- what is a death penalty, why is it used, how it is used, and stuff like that.

Johnston90 · #8 04-30-2008, 02:39 PM

I currently write to two death row inmates. I'm glad I did it although I was really scared at first. This has been a rewarding experience in my life. One inmate in GA is female and we actually have alot in common with kids and what not. The other inmate is in TX. I worry about him. I have really gotten to know both of these individuals and will be heartbroken when the time comes....at least I know I did the right thing by keeping upbeat letters, cards, and words of encouragment to these people. They are people. I hate the death pentaly. You should read William Irvan's case sometime when you have a chance. To see this man die for a crime he did not commit is insane. I pray everyday they will release him....

To see the government kill anyone is insane for that matter.....

Ravenheart · #9 05-10-2008, 12:48 PM

It doesn't automatically mean he will die, there were cases when death row inmates had their sentence commuted or they were released... however, I'd say it is most likely that he will be executed, because these cases are rather the exception than the norm, to my knowledge. My friend who was on DR was executed despite being innocent of the crime he was accused of. I don't want this to sound discouraging, hope should only die in the last moment after all, but I think you should prepare yourself for in case he does get executed. I couldn't handle it when my friend was killed... I had nightmares of his execution before his time came and as a matter of fact, I'm still not completely over it and I don't think I ever will be. It depends how attached you become but either way, losing a friend isn't easy and I think one will most likely suffer. If you think that brightening up the life of a DR inmate is worth it, then IMO write him. Having a penpal really helps these people, it's like their last hope in the world and I think it also helps the penpal him/herself. My friend was "there" for me and I learned a lot of useful things from him, so at least for me it was a nice experience and not a "charity act".

Danalia · #10 05-28-2008, 03:07 PM

Writing to a DR inmate was not something I had ever expected to do. The friendship that has developed between us so quickly has also been a shock, a delightful one.

At first I shied away from 'that thought' but now, realising that I am in this for the long haul, I know I have to face the possibility and it is hard, I won't pretend it isn't. I don't know how I will react if that day ever comes but I do know one thing.... Whatever happens I will always be grateful for that webpage that I happened on by accident because it has introduced me to a man who makes me laugh, who shares my interests and with whom I can share my strength and support. I will never regret the decision I made to write to him (even on the bad days

) and I will always hope for the best outcome.

These people need our support and friendship regardless of their past (in my personal opinion) and the more of us who reach out the brighter their existence becomes. It takes only one step forward to change the world

MDF1965 · #11 06-09-2008, 02:24 PM

The most amazing things happen in our lives when we open ourselves to loving others.

I started sending out b'day cards to inmates, then to DR inmates, and then a couple of the DR fellows wrote me back and they were so sweet and so grateful for a break in their dull, dark days.

Well, I was telling my oldest daughter that I rec'd some letters back to my letters and my 12-yr-old-granddaughter heard me. She asked what Death Row was. Together, her mother and I explained it to her. She was positively shocked! She said You mean they do that here? in the United States? Our United States? How can they do such a terrible thing? Isn't that murder?

It was an extraordinary opportunity to explain to her something that many adults have trouble understanding. I know I don't understand how it can be legal. Thank God I live in Michigan, one of the few states that doesn't have the DP. It was also a good opportunity to explain that all humans are worthy of respect and dignity, no matter what -- no matter what!

My son is in prison for 3-8 years and has served only 10 months. I am so grateful that he is in prison, because he'd probably be dead from drugs by now. This whole 'situation' has opened my eyes - and my heart - in ways I never expected and it's a privilege to send a smile to someone and let them know someone out here cares about them in there. And you all on PTO are my inspiration. I thank you for setting such a great example!

God bless you and keep you strong!

Love & Peace~~~
Mary

Danalia · #12 06-09-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MDF1965

Well, I was telling my oldest daughter that I rec'd some letters back to my letters and my 12-yr-old-granddaughter heard me. She asked what Death Row was. Together, her mother and I explained it to her. She was positively shocked! She said You mean they do that here? in the United States? Our United States? How can they do such a terrible thing? Isn't that murder?

That instantly made me think of the saying "Out of the mouths of babes". Sometimes they can go to the heart of a thing without the fears and constraints that adulthood puts upon us 'oldies'.

Shroomy · #13 07-04-2008, 09:22 PM

I also absolutly recommend writing him! I never would have thought of myself as someone who would write to a death row inmate until I learned I had a strong history with one. I would not change it for anything. His letters keep smiles on my face and I do believe mine do the same for him. I don't really allow myself to think of the finality of his sentence just yet but it is still very new to me, so maybe denial is a good word for it. But everyone who has posted to this thread is exactly right! You will be surprised at how much good it will do for your soul to reach out!!!

PattiD1157 · #14 07-12-2008, 11:36 PM

I wouldn't trade the relationship that I have with a guy on the row for anything. As Rach said, I too have learned so much about myself through this experience. I met my sweetie through another PTO member and I haven't seen her around for awhile but I will thank her until the day I die for the email introduction to him. This has been one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had in my life. We have a special picture that I sent him and I have and when I sent it to him I told him that when he looks out that window I will be on the other side looking in. He has it on his "wall of hope" along with many other photos I have sent him.
I honestly don't think anyone would ever be "sorry" to write to an inmate on the row. The hard part is if the day comes when they will no longer be with us on this earth. It scares me and I won't deny it but at the same time.....I wouldn't change a thing with what we have right now....and that is what you need to live for...THE NOW.

sweetnina · #15 07-13-2008, 02:08 AM

Thank you Patti.
No matter how hard it is, no matter how hard it will be one day, there is nothing I will ever regret.
It is a experience you can only grow with, when you are ready to take it. You will never have friendships that deep or a love so real.
When you look into this world with all its darkness, and when your eyes are open, you will see the light sooner or later.
The light all human beings should see to understand the sense in life, the meaning of humanity.