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Desert Lady · #1 02-10-2009, 04:15 PM

I had my first visit on Sunday. My husband went with me as I was nervous going my first time. My son had no idea we were coming. Seeing his face when he walked into the visition room was great! We spent the whole 4 hours together, talking, laughing. When he got arrested, he was down to 130 pounds. He is 5'11" so you can imagine how horrible he looked. Not to mention his face was all sunken in from the heroin use. He's up to 165 pounds now! His face looks GREAT! He cut his hair. He is finally taking responsibility for his choices and actions. He is starting to think about his future. He has been clean for 135 days. This is the longest he's been clean since he was 17. He turns 20 on Valentines Day. He has taken his GED pre-test and is waiting to take the big test later this month. He is attending the NA meetings they have 3 times a week. They have been trying to find someone on the outside to come in and help them with NA meetings but everyone they have found has a felony on their record.

He is working out and playing softball. He is the youngest person in Globe. A few of the older guys have taken him under their wing and have been there for him to talk to. They, too, are recoving addicts.

This was the son I remember! Even my husband, who has doubted our son's willingness to change, said that he was so glad he chose to go with me. He said he honestly believes our son WANTS to stay off drugs. For the first time I can remember, the two of them actually talked, laughed and looked each other in the eyes. I can't tell you the joy that brought to me.

Anyway, I just wanted to share what a wonderful visit we had.

momofyoungimate · #2 02-10-2009, 05:48 PM

Wow, I am so happy for you all. I know it must have been a wonderful feeling that you and your husband got to see him doing so well. I hope you get to have many more wonderful visits with your son. I will be praying for you all and for him to stay clean. Have a wonderful day!

justadeb · #3 02-10-2009, 06:07 PM

that's so great to hear desert lady. i am so happy you got to visit and then have it be such a great visit . now that first visit fear is over...and you can have more peace in your soul. prayers being said for your sons continued growth in his fight to over come addiction..
keep us posted on how he dose on his journey.

I'm His Mom · #4 02-10-2009, 06:27 PM

So happy that your visit went so well, and that he looked so healthy. My son looks much better as well since he got away from the drugs. We will keep our faith strong that they will prevail over their addictions. I would have loved to seen his face when he saw both of you, not knowing that you were coming. What a wonderful surprise for him. I'm so glad you were able to visit. God Bless!

kking707 · #5 02-10-2009, 06:31 PM

Hi Desert lady,
So glad to hear that you got to visit with your son. That is just Wonderful!! and a whole 4 hours! Wow!
I have not yet visited my son in his assigned prison as it is too far away, but he was recently sent to our county jail for a hearing (which ended up being nothing) so I have snuck in a couple of visits. He is still here - which is only 4 miles away =) but he will soon go back to the feds. =(
When do you get to visit him again?
I will be thinking about you and your son and I hope he continues to do well.
Best-
kk

heavy · #6 02-10-2009, 06:41 PM

I am so happy your visit went so good.I am happy he gain weight.Hope you can visit him offen.

swoot · #7 02-10-2009, 07:09 PM

Sounds like a awesome first visit. I'm glad to hear he is doing so well too. Sharon

AriesMom · #8 02-10-2009, 07:24 PM

Thanks for the uplifting post, Desert Lady. It's so nice when they get cleaned up and you can recognize who they really are!! It reminded me of seeing my daughter after being in prison for several months and finally getting my daughter back from the depths of her "addicted self"

My prayers are with you that your son stays on the right path. Sounds like a great first visit and hope many more great visits to come.

Shane's Mom · #9 02-10-2009, 07:24 PM

That's awesome! Always happy to hear these stories.

addictsmom · #10 02-10-2009, 08:16 PM

Desert Lady, You just made my day. My daughter is a heroin addict as well and I know first hand the hell you and his dad have been through. My daughter has been gone a little over 2 years and I wish I had as good a report as you do. I still dont think she "gets" it. Everything that happens is still someone's fault. And the weight gain, now that I know about. My Tisha went in weighing about 120 now she is up close to 200 pounds. She is so stressed out about it. My biggest fear is she knows that heroin will get the weight off and that will be her excuse if she fails. I so hope that your boy keeps growing in his recovery. Please pray for us as I am scared to death. Tisha comes home in about 3-4 months. Peace and Love,

Diane

JLS1 · #11 02-10-2009, 09:24 PM

Thank you for sharing... it's so nice to hear about the visits. I haven't seen my son in almost a year... but at some point, I will get to see him. I'm so happy you had a great visit... hugs to you... Jan

pmitch10 · #12 02-10-2009, 09:57 PM

It's awesome your son has the support of you and your husband. He WILL make it......and so won't you!

............"He is attending the NA meetings they have 3 times a week. They have been trying to find someone on the outside to come in and help them with NA meetings but everyone they have found has a felony on their record."

Sometimes it is those who have been through it are the most effective in sharing their testimonies that speak to others as they can relate. They have more of a passion in helping others.

Just like families and loved ones of inmates have more of an ability to care and relate to the prison system as they are much more directly affected and certainly more passionate to helping those behind the razor wires and their families and loved ones....in my opinion.

boop's mom · #13 02-10-2009, 10:10 PM

First visits are so awesome, especially a surprise one. So glad you are seeing your son recovering and that his Dad was there to see it too.

ViCharliesMom · #14 02-10-2009, 10:50 PM

Desert Girl I'm so HAPPY FOR YOU, Hubby and son! How wonderful to be able to see him and that he looks so good! I will keep you all in my prayers.
God Bless You!

Greek_Koukla · #15 02-10-2009, 10:52 PM

That is soo great!!! I"m soo happy to hear that!!! Yay for great visits!!!
Awww!!!

dutchgirl1 · #16 02-11-2009, 04:08 AM

hi Desert Lady, fellow arizonian.

so happy you shared your visit with us. It is indeed awesome... and sounds like he is doing well. and relationship with you and dad is so important.
I know when we finally got contact visits w/david, awesome. and the meth had taken its toll on him also... he is almost 6 ft and was so skinny. but now he is 'beefy' as my granddaughter would say.

and I know that if he came home tomorrow he would NEVER touch drugs or alcohol again.
hugs to you and continued prayers.

d'gal

Desert Lady · #17 02-11-2009, 08:06 AM

Thanks for all the responses! I am going to see him again on saturday as it's his birthday. I told him I will probably only get to visit once a month as I have many other obligations that are difficult to move around. He understood and was totally fine with it. He said he was just glad that he got to see me.

We did the tough love thing with our son when he was 18. It was so hard to do as we knew he had no place to go and had no idea where things would end up. Seeing him made us feel more like we did the right thing and it will all work out for the best. He used to have so much anger towards me and now he says he understands and knows that I love him and just want the best for him.

mrswest2009 · #18 02-11-2009, 08:55 AM

Your story brought tears to my eyes - not that that is hard these days! I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing good. This I know was so rewarding to you. Keep praying for him, because he deserves a new start and he will get it just as soon as he gets out and he'll then make you so proud. I think this will make some of the pain us mothers go through go away once you see them turn their selves around.

heartbrokenmom · #19 02-11-2009, 04:16 PM

Desert Lady, What good news that your son is doing so good! My son was also an addict, crack cocaine was his choice. We did the tough love thing also (or should I say my husband mostly did it) I'm too easy! And I know about the weight loss from drugs. My son is 6'5 and weighed 145 at one time. You could see his right through his skin and all the bones in his back. Now he weighs 210 and looks good. Amazing how they say they don't hardly feed you anything in prison and they go in weighing so little and come out so much healthier. I do believe prison saved my son's life, even though I hate it had to happen. But I would rather be visiting him there than in a graveyard. They still have a chance to stay straight, clean and the rest of their life. What a hard way to have to learn! So happy that your husband is coming around. Mine has a hard time, but sometimes I do believe he has a heart. It comes and goes with him and he's hard to figure out at times. Guess it's that tough outer shell that a man carries with them. Hope things continue to look up for you all.

judean07 · #20 02-11-2009, 05:16 PM

Your story sounds like mine. GOD bless and stay strong.

wickit · #21 02-11-2009, 09:08 PM

Desert Girl that is great news and I'm so glad dad went with you on the visit. My son is awaiting prison and he to is an addict. I know what you mean about the weight and how scarey that can be. It's nice to know your son has turned a corner.

Timeless · #22 02-11-2009, 11:28 PM

What a great visit posting

I could so relate from when my son had gone in and where he is now. I especially liked the part of the dad and son being able to talk and laugh, those are the things that make this worth while. That is so comforting and wish your family many more visits just like this one.