My son got a good deal from the judge....

[momalways]

I was getting really bad vibes from the judge in my son's case. But we went to dispositions this week and he'll be here in county juvenile detention for just a few months, home early next year. And probation until 18. I think he was just being hard on him to try and teach him a lesson (although he did give him the maximum county juvenile detention time so...he's making his point, I pray that this registers with my son)...

....Now I'm getting more worried about the probation than how long he'll be away for. It's going to be really strict...and my son doesn't have a good track record when it comes to following court orders...and it's basically his last chance to show he can follow the rules, after this DJJ will pretty much be the only option...

I was so worried and nervous that he was going to send my 16 year old boy off to DJJ...

When my son was first arrested his lawyer said that they could charge him as adult on those charges and that would be 5-10 years in prison...his lawyer did a good job with reducing charges...

So far it's been a rollercoaster that I don't want to ride again. I pray that my son will come home and make a fresh start and that all this legal stuff will be over.

[LongIslandMom]

oh that is good news, I too will pray that your son gets the message. I know exactly what you mean about probation, we actually fought for longer jail time and no probabtion out of fear my son would try to bend the rules while on probation. Now he's been in county jail for 3 weeks, he's miserable and I really think he's getting the message.

[momalways]

Originally Posted by LongIslandMom

Now he's been in county jail for 3 weeks, he's miserable and I really think he's getting the message.

I hope your son picks up on the message too! My son's been in detention for a month already (because he was released at a detention hearing on a curfew that he decided he didn't need to obey...) and he's been pretty miserable a couple of times that we've seen him. He's been wanting to come home for.....oh...about 26 days probably. I have seen a bit of a change in attitude over the last few weeks, I hope it stays...

[Butterfly21]

I'm glad it went the way it did, I too hope your son learns from all of this. I am in the midst of dealing with the probation thing with my youngest son. It's only been two weeks, I'm having my doubts right now, that he will follow through. He is only 13. I sometimes wonder why he is putting me through all this when he knows what I am going through with my oldest son --he will be sentenced to state Oct. 23rd. looking at 2-5 years. I just don't understand why he would do all this. Is it for attention. Is it because I am spending so much time worrying about my oldest son that he feels he needs to get negative attention from me?? He is my youngest child and all the rest of the kids have moved out. Why would he do this to me, to us, to himself? I am tired of worrying, tired of the hurt, tired of the pain in my heart. I want to give up! I won't though, I have to stay strong. I guess sometimes I just feel so alone. I have tried talking to him, to get him to understand we don't need to go down this road, if only he would take my advise, listen to what I say. He says I don't know nothing and he'll be fine. He's riding on the edge right now and it scares me to death! I pray your son will learn his lesson. Please keep us in your prayers too. I worry so very much.

[momalways]

Butterfly, I'm sorry to hear of all you're going through with your two sons. My son started on his path to where he is now at 13. It's so stressful going through all this, and trying to work out why. My son got his first diversion, a month later he got in trouble again, probation officer sort of said "....ok...I won't file a petition...we'll extend diversion". At the end of diversion we went in, signed it all off...the next night he gets arrested again! At our next meeting with the probation officer, all the adults were basically speechless, we were all just saying What? Why?....WHY? (...and he'd shrug his shoulders). I think that, in some ways, when our sons are 13/14 they don't fully comprehend it all, I don't think that it registers with them how serious all this legal stuff can get. They never think anything bad or serious will happen to them.

Maybe it is an attention thing with your son. Hopefully it's how he's dealing with the emotion of what's going on with his brother. We've had so much turmoil in our home recently, and our younger children pick up on it, my little boy has been acting out a bit the last couple of weeks, out of character. Maybe your son's worried and scared about what's going to happen with his brother and he doesn't know how to express that....teenage boys, not big on the communication side are they...

I wish that I had better advice, but I'm still figuring it all out myself I've had times where I've wanted to just give up too, it gets too much. Stay strong mom. I truly hope that your son sees that he needs to get through his probation. And I hope that he sees how he needs to act without being locked up. Unfortunately I think that my son needs this, to see that things need to change. My son, we've talked and talked about all this, he's had so many chances to make changes, but I think that he's needed to see and experience things himself. He's been in detention before, for a month and less than that, those times didn't bother him. This time round he's acting differently, I think he needs to be there for a while for it all to have an impact. I'd much rather have him at home though, it hurts having them take him from us...

I will keep you and your sons in my prayers! I'll be praying that things work out as best they can with your oldest son. Hoping our sons find the way out of all this. One thing that I've learnt in my short time here is that you're not alone! I understand how much you worry. I understand what you mean when you say his behavior scares you to death, I've been there too. It hurts, it hurts like nothing else, but we can make it. Thinking of you!

[judean07]

Now that my son is 24 and has been in and out of jails from 15. Never followed one rule and they did not hold him responsible for anything he always got off easy. I now wish they would of threw the book at him then because until he went to prison he just did not get it. The longest he was ever locked up at one time was I think 1 month. It was never long enough to make an impression on him. Not saying that I wasn't right there beside him fighting the courts for his release. Oh! the things I did to enable my son, the things I could of lived without, all the years before he finally committed a crime I could know longer talk his way home. They gave my son many, many chances to clean himself up. The weekend he did the final act, he was to check into court ordered rehab. The one thing I ask the courts to do. You know, the funny thing is he still has not been given any rehab. The faster and harder they fall the more they seem to learn. I feel for you, I would not wish this hell on anyone. Pray works, give it to GOD, he listens, that I know for sure. You all are always in my prays. Hugs.

[momalways]

Originally Posted by judean07

The longest he was ever locked up at one time was I think 1 month. It was never long enough to make an impression on him. Not saying that I wasn't right there beside him fighting the courts for his release. Oh! the things I did to enable my son,

I know what you mean about making an impression, the other times didn't make an impression. I hope that this time it's the right amount of time to make him stop and think...

It's a double edged sword isn't it....I've been there aswell telling his attorney, YES, get him out of there! There'd be a fight going on in my head, "maybe it's a 'good' thing for him to be in there for a little while...no, bring him home, he's a kid!"....

[MOTHER OF HIM]

So happy it truned out good for your son !

Thank God