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iluvcoffee · #1 03-14-2010, 12:15 AM

**not sure what topic to post this under**

OK I need some opinions on if I made a mistake or not...here is the story...I had a friend back in High School (10 years ago) and I had a crush on him but never acted on it but still to this day I have not forgotten about him or stopped thinking about him...well I haven't seen or heard from him since graduation and recently someone told me he was in Federal Prison doing time so I wrote him in a very friendly way and he replied back also in a friendly way (I got major butterflies in my tummy when I seen his letter in the box) and he seemed very surprised/happy to hear from me. He told me what he has been up to since High School up until his incarceration. He told me he is going to send me a pic of him soon and if it was possible he would love to see one of me since it's been so long since we have seen each other. I do want to add that he has never been married and has no children (not that it matters but just wanted to toss that in LOL).

I guess there is no real answer to my question/post but what I really need is an opinion on if I did the right thing by contacting him. And should I or should I not continue to write him?

**Keltria** · #2 03-14-2010, 12:30 AM

Well, as long as it stays Platonic, and does not become involve cheating on your loved one that is incarcerated. Have you discussed this with your partner, and are they okay with this.

You need to be honest with the guy and let him know you are involved, and you need to let you partner know you have found an old friend... Things have a way of biting a person in the backside.

I dont see anything wrong with writing friends in prison so long as it stays at being friends. And if it feels wrong then it is.

iluvcoffee · #3 03-14-2010, 12:33 AM

There's nobody to tell about anything because I am no longer involved with anyone who is incarcerated. I put an end to it.

**Keltria** · #4 03-14-2010, 12:42 AM

Well then - Yes do it and have fun.

Xellena · #5 03-14-2010, 12:59 AM

I guess you need to go with your gut on this one. The PP I am writing is an ex fiance I hadnt seen or heard from in over 12 years...go with what you are comforable with!

chelseagreg1427 · #6 03-14-2010, 01:32 AM

I dont see why not! i would keep my eyes open of course but i dont see any problems forming a relationship with him, whether it be platonic or romantic. me personally though, i would not send my picture until i received one from him first and i was certain he had good intentions. other than that... i see no reason to pass something by that could be good.

annamarie86 · #7 03-14-2010, 01:52 AM

Go with it girl Just have fun!

**LeBeau** · #8 03-14-2010, 07:36 AM

Why wouldn't you?
It could blossom into a full fledged romance or it could be a friendship with a few butterflies thrown in, and as long as you're prepared to accept either, either way it's a good thing.

Keep your eyes open, don't make him the focus of your life- keep doing what you do for fun, work, whatever- don't promise anything you can't follow through on and do not let him become an expensive hobby- decide what you can afford to spend and stick to it- and do not get so starry eyed that you are not seeing things for what they are, but as long as you keep your wits about you, this sounds like it could be a good thing.

**Onedaycloser13** · #9 03-14-2010, 07:46 AM

I say go ahead write him and go into all relationships as friends, no expectations. Learn about him and what he is about and then make a decision if it should go any further!

iloveyoumore · #10 03-14-2010, 10:29 AM

Go for it! I bet he was surprised to hear from someone in his past. It may be a great thing for you both.

iluvcoffee · #11 03-14-2010, 10:50 AM

I guess my main concern getting hurt. EVERYONE we know back home where we are from knows him I'm from a small town so I know he's not a bad guy (well wasn't back in High School) but things change and people change and I already see myself thinking of the old him not taking in account that many years have passed since last seeing each other. He has no idea I had a crush on him back then...should I ever tell him??

And yes he was surprised he said "what a surprise this is I never thought i'd be receiving a letter from you but it's good to hear from you no doubt!"

SRM2688 · #12 03-14-2010, 11:17 AM

As long as you're not in a relationship, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Maybe just start talking as friends and getting to know him again before you start telling him you used to like him...And see where it goes from there.

OneOfMany · #13 03-14-2010, 11:24 AM

Treat it like meeting a nice guy on the street and getting to know him. You know of him; you really don't KNOW him. Use the same caution as you would with anyone else.

And it's perfectly alright to have fun while doing so.

Hisoneandonly · #14 03-14-2010, 11:38 AM

If there is no one else involved I don't see the harm in become friends (and maybe down the line more) with him.

HisElizabeth · #15 03-14-2010, 12:02 PM

Go for it! I agree with every one else here- there's no one else involved to get hurt, and you have the potential to gain a great friend or more out of the situation! As for should you tell him you had a crush on him... I'd wait on that one. Telling him right off the bat might seem a bit high school and give him an advantage in the situation by knowing there are emotions there to play off of. You said he wasn't a bad guy then, but it's been 10 years and you don't know 100% the person he is now so giving his possible ammo to use against you right away is probably not the safest bet. Write to him, see where things go, and if it develops and you start to really trust him and you think it has romantic potential, tell him then. That way if it dies early or becomes only friends, no harm no foul.

dianam1972 · #16 03-14-2010, 12:04 PM

I just wanted to put my two cents in!! I have been talking to an old boyfriend from Jr.HS days which has been alot longer than 10yrs!! We have been talking for over a year now. Now we are writing since he has been incarerated for 7mos now. It is fun to get to know him all over again.So I say go for it and have fun,get to know him you just never know if things will grow into something more!!! And yeah I would tell him you had a crush on him he will think it was cute!!...I am so glad I have been talking with my friend and I can't wait until he is released in Oct. and he comes back to Michigan so we can finally meet in person!! Maybe things will turn into more maybe not but at least we have made good friends....Enjoy life do it!