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lisamarie.1984 · #1 04-26-2010, 07:58 PM

hello all!

i have been BIG all of my teen and adult life. actually i was a pretty chuncky child as well. it has always made me misrable being so heavy. at my largest i was 330lbs. i had dropped to around 280 but i am back upto around 315. carrying this weight has led to many problems. i have bursitis in my knees, arthritis in my back, a pinched nerve and several herniated disks. not to mention how it effected my social life. i have always been extreamly shy and people can be cruel to those who are different. it got so bad that i was suicidal for a time. after years of meds and just growing up i learned to deal. i tried many times to lose the weight but nothing seemed to work. it still just did not seem worth it. i wasnt suicidal anymore but i just did not care anymore about the weight. i thought "this is who i am. i am a bbw and if people dont like me then screw them." but then one day i was on the computer and i was bored and lonely. i wanted new friends and who better than an inmate? i went through and picked out a few profiles. almost skipped over my honeys because i did not want to write to someone so close to home because i DID NOT want a relationship and i thought the further away the least likely that would happen.(i know, thats a niave thought. distance does not matter in the least). but i was so drawn i had to write him. we had such an instant and deep conection. we saw through everything to what matters the most in anykind of relationship. the outside package didnt matter. he SAW ME. who i really am. i saw him. he does not care that i am a bbw. to him i am his sexxxy babygirl. and heres the kicker: i FEEL like his sexxxy babygirl. he wouldnt care if i never lost another pound. but now i have finaly found him i want to be with him for as long as we both live. this is the reason/motivation i needed to finally change my lifestyle and lose the weight. at least a good part of it. for us. so we can have kids together.(being big greatly decreases fertility rates). so we can grow old together.

wow this ended up being muuuuch longer than i expected. anyway what i want to know is has your mwi motivated you to change your life in anyway, not by asking but by simply being a part of your life?

jeswannabhiswyf · #2 04-26-2010, 08:16 PM

My husband and I are MBI, but yes. He motivates me a lot. He is an exercise freak. Lifting weights is his hobby. He thinks I'm sexy and tells me all the time, but I don't feel sexy when I look in the mirror, so I am making a change. I am eating better and exercising. The weight I want to lose is for myself because L doesn't care. In fact when I told him my plans, he was like "don't go getting skinny on me". I told him, "don't worry, you are in no danger of ME being skinny". I don't even think that could happen. But LisaMarie, I am motivated as well!

comradrahrah · #3 04-26-2010, 09:58 PM

Your story is so inspirational. Even though I do not struggle with weight issues, I can relate to EVERYTHING is possible and obtainable if you want bad enough..I will follow your story you got a fan!

Miss_Tiff_J · #4 04-26-2010, 10:19 PM

My man says i dont need to lose any weight but I think I need to so I can feel better about myself and plus he's ridiculously fit so I feel like I need to be able to keep up with him.I'm just not 100% sure how to get started and go about this lol.Because of him I have been very motivated to make changes

hopes4hisfuture · #5 04-26-2010, 10:52 PM

My boyfriend is also extremely fit(he been locked up for 10 yrs so all he did was work out)....he tells me that I'm perfect and he doesn't want me to lose weight...but I feel like I should loose atleast my baby fat and really be healthy and fit...he also tells me I better not get skinny on him...but that's impossible

lisamarie.1984 · #6 04-26-2010, 10:52 PM

thanks everyone for the support

miss tiff, the way i started was
#1- relize i reallly want to do this. to me that is the most important thing because if i dont i will almost surely fail. but not this time!
#2- find out what i am doing wrong. the two main things to look at are food intake and physical exersise.
#3-correct the problems. i know easier said than done.

my biggest problems are i am not active enough and i eat all the wrong kind of foods. and dont let me forget my pop. luckily for me i have a great support system. and i will be here for anyone that needs me. we can compare food plans, exersise regimes, or just talk. just pm me. we are not alone! i dont know if this is an option for you but where i work, every couple of months we have a "biggest loser" contest. we have weekly weigh ins and if you lose the most that week you get $(weigh- ins cost $2 and that money goes to the weekly winners) and if you win the compitition you get more $ and extra vacation time. we are between contest right now but another should start soon. you could talk to your boss and see if y'all can come up with something.
if you plan to set goals keep them small. figure out how much you want to lose total and then break it up into a smaller weekly/monthly goal. it is much easier to concentrate on losing 5 pounds versus 20.
one more thing. it is not about denying yourself something. it is about moderation. telling yourself you cant have that chocolate bar will only make you want it more. the next thing you know you have eaten an entire king size milkyway. instead go bye a fun size one and eat that. but you still cant do that ALL the time. eat more often but eat less and eat right. a small meal or snack every 2-3 hours is better than eating 3 big meals a day if you eat the right things.
wow i just meant this to be a small reply and it got away from me again...

hopes4hisfuture · #7 04-26-2010, 10:58 PM

I have 23 days until my love comes home....I don't wanna do a quick,unhealthy weight loss...honestly I just want to be fit...so I can keep up with my baby!!!any suggestions?

lisamarie.1984 · #8 04-26-2010, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopes4hisfuture

I have 23 days until my love comes home....I don't wanna do a quick,unhealthy weight loss...honestly I just want to be fit...so I can keep up with my baby!!!any suggestions?

diet= lots of lean protien. try chicken, tuna, turkey. watch out for the refined sugars. pretty much if it is white eat very little ie:bread pasta potatoes. dont deny just moderate. dark leafy greens are good. fruit is good but not to much because it has a lot of sugars.

exercise= i dont really know yet on what is the best for exercise. i know you have too get your heart rate up and keep it up but for how long depends on the person. i know for me the treadmill kills my knees and back, and i am majorly accident prone with week ankles so that cuts out walking outside. i am told that the eliptical is really good but i have not tried one yet. dont forget to strech and warm up. also start with what you can handle. if you can only walk for a mile just do that. it is better than nothing. then try to add to that distance. if you kill yourself on day one you are more likely to not even go back for day two.

hopes4hisfuture · #9 04-26-2010, 11:21 PM

I have been TRYING to play tennis....its a good work out and it gets my heart rate up..I don't eat red meat at all..I mostly eat seafood and turkey....but my problem is I love junk....I have a crazy sweet toothe!

lisamarie.1984 · #10 04-26-2010, 11:38 PM

lol i lucked out there. dont crave sweets too often. my problem is the pasta. i am in love with pasta!

partial sweet tooth fix= use the crystal light stuff(or a knock off brand) and make popsickles. there are also lots of low cal low carb pudding and jello cups. dried fruit.

hopes4hisfuture · #11 04-26-2010, 11:43 PM

Thank you...I will try these things...and pasta is one of my favorite also!!!

mambo · #12 04-27-2010, 01:35 AM

I think it's great that the relationship inspired you to be more healthy... sometimes having someone else who cares, helps us care for ourselves.

I don't have a weight problem, but I'm not fit at all! I spent a lot of my time not caring about my health and became really weak and anemic. Initially I turned that around for myself... but longevity is really important now.

I want to take better care of myself because I want more years with him!

Anyway, I think your approach and motivation is great and I'm sure with your drive you can definitely achieve it.

HisBlueEyedGal · #13 04-27-2010, 02:41 AM

See, falling in love with Max inspired me in a _lot_ of ways. I've been overweight all my life, too. Bounced up and down in my adult life from a low of 170 to a high of 240 on a 5'5'' medium frame. I just finally got myself into the mentality where I exercise because it's good for me and not just because I want to "look good". I know plenty of people of all ages and sizes who have knee and back problems. From what I've seen some of the best "low impact" exercises are swimming (even if you just walk laps in the pool instead of swimming, that's still exercise and very good for you!), an exercise bike (especially the ones where you're seated and your legs are extended out in front of you instead of beneath you), and the elliptical trainer. Go slow on that elliptical at first - it'll feel easy for the first minute or two, then you'll get winded pretty fast and you might feel like it's too hard if you start too fast. Just ease on into it.

I've lost 35 pounds since November. All I do is exercise for a full hour at least four days a week (mostly cardio and floor exercises like push ups and sit ups), I gave up soda pop for the sake of my teeth and I limit white sugar and starches. Try whole wheat pasta. It isn't quite as nice as the regular white stuff, but it's really good for you and might help with the pasta cravings. Max has always called me his "gorgeous girl" and he makes me feel gorgeous in every way - I just wanna be healthy so we can have a family together and live a nice long life together.

You'remyheart · #14 04-27-2010, 02:41 AM

I am also a bigger chick and my baby (mwi) is way buff and he works out everyday too. I have decided to lose some of this weight as well because i would also like to have a child or two eventually. He has never asked me to lose weight or anything like that but i know that if i did lose some of this weight that i would feel more comfortable about my self which inturn would make me feel really comfortable about doing other things with him

But i feel secure in our relationship and He sees me for me and what i have to offer if that makes since. I have been trying to eat more healthly and cook my meals at home with vegetables and all of that. My biggest thing for me is the POP i love POP lol but i am trying to stop drinking it so often and drink water water water. I have also started going with my girlfriend to the dog park with her and her 3 dogs. if you walk around the park 5 times its two miles. i usually walk around it once or twice. my knee is kinda messed up so sometimes its really hard but she keeps my pace and by the time we are done walking even if its not a whole lot i feel good like i got my butt out there and did something. thats a great accomplishment. So the little things do add up and hopefully i will drop half of myself before he gets out lol he has little over a year so i have time to get in better shape!!!

tea2sugarsplz · #15 04-27-2010, 04:24 AM

Great thread.
My MWI relationship has made it so I'm more determined than ever to graduate uni and get a good career. This is because of; a) immigration points system (I'm foreign) and b) I know he'll face some difficulties work wise when he comes out. So I've been inspired to become more of an independant woman for 'us'

lisamarie.1984 · #16 04-28-2010, 12:05 AM

hi everyone
well i'm kinda sad because they moved my thread to the dieting and health forum. nothing against this one but i never intended for this thread to only be about losing weight. that was just what my MWI has motivated me to do. i wanted to know if in general our MWI relationships have changed us in someway. i guess it just motivated a lot of us to lose weight. nothing wrong with that.
well day one is complete. on to day two.
good luck everyone!

DustysGirl · #17 04-28-2010, 12:48 AM

Congrats Lisa on Day One!!

Critter07 · #18 04-28-2010, 09:00 AM

Congratulations on day one, Lisa! I completely understand where you are and wish you nothing but the best as you venture through this journey.

lisamarie.1984 · #19 05-02-2010, 01:23 PM

hi again everyone!
so far so good. no slips or anything. i have my meal plans worked out and i am actually following them,lol. after evaluating my former calorie intake i have decided to start with 1800 calories a day. i have devided those calories into 3 meals at 300 cal, 4 sancks at 200 cal, and the last snack of the day is 100 cals. i have been trying to drink at least 16 oz of water with each meal/snack. and when i just have to have a coke i figure those calories in with whatever meal/snack i am having. if i consume all the cals lotted for the meal/snack i eat a pickle or lettuce with a little salt. i also add more water to help flush the salt along.
as far as the exercise goes i have not been so good there yet. better than i was before but still not as asctive as i should be. i cant wait for the water to warm up so i can go swimming. i love to swim and it is easier on my back and knees than walking. plus i can work on my tan.lol

hopes4hisfuture · #20 05-02-2010, 01:32 PM

That is so cool...you must be a really strong woman..and have a really good guy for you to be so motivated!!!!congrats!!

lisamarie.1984 · #21 05-03-2010, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopes4hisfuture

That is so cool...you must be a really strong woman..and have a really good guy for you to be so motivated!!!!congrats!!

thanks. i dont really know if i'm all that stong(i try my best) but he really is a fabulous guy. he is so worth giving up my pop