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donnal · #1 10-21-2010, 11:59 AM

(*note -This is a letter from my son that I posted this about 2 weeks ago in the letters from inmates section and someone there suggested that parents of inmates may like to read it and that I should post here as well. Thanks...)

Dear forum,

First I would like to thank the creator of this forum and all those who help it to run smoothly. For giving us inmates a sense of "part of" to know that people care about us. It's a very good feeling.

I am a 22 year old man who has spent a total of about 1 year in rehabilitation in the past 4 years. My personality is one of addiction not only to pleasure but to punishment. Since the age of sixteen I've had many run in's with the law. At first drinking was my major problem by the age of 18 I had 6 minor in consumption charges and 1 possession of meth felony. By this time I had already wanted to change my ways stop drinking stop using drugs so I took action. Thus started my series of trips to rehabs. Always going with the right desires but as soon as things seemed OK I would pick up once again. Not long ago I had become so involved in my drug use I was shooting meth with heroin into my body. For me that was part of the thrill knowing I could die from such use. I had become so discourage with my self that I had attempted suicide at first I told myself it was an accident but the scar on my wrist reminds me every day that it wasn't. Sorry Mom Im shure you dont like to hear that. After leaving the hospital I knew I had been given a chance to continue living, but I was used to that feeling see it wasn't my first near death experience. So once again I was off and running. Soon after I was arrested with possession of a controlled substance again. Xanax & heroin and marijuana. So now I sit in jail and wait for court for a revocation of a felony probation & a new felony. I’m writing this not because I want pity but to express the emotions that come to me. The truth is I feel amazingly free in here my spirits are high & my will to be happy is stronger than ever.
See, in here I have no needle in my arm. I’m beginning to love myself for who I am. I never realy believed that achievements make you, but you make your achievements. I truly believe this is where I belong & look forward to learning about myself. Ive learnt to love my neighbers even if we are polar opposites, because I am he and he is I. I am the Sun, the moon, the stars, the earth is my twin and my love eternal. We are all part of the whole. No matter what happens I try not to take it to serious. I've begun to see a change in my attitude instead of anger I laugh even tho the anger was there. Im not shure why these changes are taking place but I welcome them.

So to all of those who may be coming to jail or prison it isn't always so bad and if you're like me it might be what you need. From my self and all the inmates in Q2, we love y'all and thank you for your time.

Sincerely, TxMagnum

jancy · #2 10-21-2010, 12:24 PM

well, mom I am sure you read that with mixed emotions. knowing the depth of your son's struggles as well as seeing his adjustment to his situation.
(((HUGS)))

Niki · #3 10-21-2010, 01:08 PM

What a nice letter from your son, donnal. It's good to hear that he is able to realize what he has been doing wrong and is taking measures to improve himself. I'm sure it was hard for you to read some of what he's done but admitting his mistakes is the first step in recovery. Tell him this cyber-auntie is proud of him....Niki

brave heart · #4 10-21-2010, 03:07 PM

so good to see a young man turn his life around,,, hugs from brave heart..

MamaB58 · #5 10-21-2010, 08:08 PM

wow donnal, that is such a great letter and such insight! It must make you so proud to read those words and know how he is starting to really see past his addiction and into the future. Tell him thank you for writing it and also thank you for sharing.

wickit · #6 10-21-2010, 08:55 PM

Hearing that just makes this place even better, thank him from me and I thank you for sharing.

donnal · #7 10-21-2010, 08:59 PM

Thank you everybody for your nice replies, I will send ALL of these on to him as I hope (very much) that he is inspired to continue on this course.

amaslow · #8 10-21-2010, 08:59 PM

wow! What a great letter.. My son is not humble enough to do this.. God bless him!!

Travsmon · #9 10-21-2010, 09:08 PM

WOW, with just a couple exceptions...that letter could have been from my son. Thank you so much for sharing it. I'm a nervous wreck because it's been a couple weeks since I've heard from my son. Last letter he was in processing at Donovan State Prison here in California. I went to put money on his books last night through JPAY and is just says "California Prisons", not which one. Sigh.....I miss him so much..Please tell your son thank you for the insight.