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Mrs.Hidalgo · #1 12-17-2010, 05:14 AM

I feel horrible! So yesterday night my bf called & he sounded sad an he sounds like he is lossing hope? An i tell him wats wrong n he tells me how he really really needs to go home! And i tell him i know love but u cant yet so stay strong u will be home oneday & he tells me i really dont think so anymore, an i tell him wats wrong with u? U r gonna go home one day (he gots a lil less the 7year left) an i tell him u just have to have faith an he tells me how he stoped having faith n stoped praying bcus the more he prays it seems the more god get forether from him i dont know wat to tell him anymore this is one of the first time an i hope the last times that i cant cheer him up! And i feel horrible cus he wants me to vist but i havent felt like i want to i geuss for my own selfish needs like me having scared issues on seeing him in there, how it will break my heart wen i cant take him home how depressed ill get aftewards... I feel sometimes like he deserves better! Even though no will ever love him like i can...

Momma Ann · #2 12-17-2010, 05:56 AM

well, there is a solution of a type. You go visit. I bet that would make him happy. It is never easy to visit and leave them there-but you have to concentrate on t he joy you have while you are together. Once you do it the first time, it will get easier and will give him something to look forward to--To me, it my chance to do one of the few things I can do for him while he is inside.

Mrs.Hidalgo · #3 12-17-2010, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momma Ann

well, there is a solution of a type. You go visit. I bet that would make him happy. It is never easy to visit and leave them there-but you have to concentrate on t he joy you have while you are together. Once you do it the first time, it will get easier and will give him something to look forward to--To me, it my chance to do one of the few things I can do for him while he is inside.

Thanks for the responce, and yeah am just gonna try to go so atleast i can see how it is.... i mean i been in prison vistation place before for my uncle *r.i.p. uncle* who has passed away now so its not like its all new but it is new for me in the bf department but ill have to suck it up, so atleast he can know i am here for him....

tkirkpsu99 · #4 12-17-2010, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs.Hidalgo

he tells me how he really really needs to go home! And i tell him i know love but u cant yet so stay strong u will be home oneday & he tells me i really dont think so anymore

As someone who has a couple screws loose herself....I could be reading way too far into this, but....

His statement concerns me a little bit. Winter can be a rough time for depression. Don't know if he'd be receptive, but I'd suggest he go see mental health...maybe get put on some antidepressants. JMO.

NewHorizon · #5 12-17-2010, 08:25 AM

I agree with the above poster; maybe, he needs some anti-depression meds. My husband is on it to help him cope. There is nothing wrong with that. I think visiting him will do both of you alot of good. I try to visit my husband every month (he is 6 hrs from me) because it does help both of us. It is hard to leave without him, but it keeps both of us going until the next time. Plus, it gives a small thing to count instead of the sentence. My husband has been in this depressed state more than once, and the holidays don't help. All you can do is be there for him and encourage him. Does he go to church or get involved in a small group? I know that helps my husband. I also send extra encouragement card and letters when my husband slips into depression.

Usually this is a phase and it will pass with time. Just keep telling him that you are there. Remember, actions speak louder than words. I hope the visit helps both of you. Stay strong!!!

Oneharmony · #6 12-17-2010, 09:58 AM

Tell him 2 go talk 2 the dr. About his depression..u dont want him 2 end up hurting himself...as far as viso goes..i say go..i think its only natural 2 not wanna c them in there n 2 b nervous bout wat ur reaction will b n yea it will sting a lil bit when u leave n cant take him with u but viso gives u a natural high that i cant describe..it will help u both alot i promise it will...gud luck

Lovingme1st · #7 12-17-2010, 10:22 AM

I don't think meds are needed. He just probably feels sad and alone with the Holiday season amongst us. Look at how we feel during this time of your when our loved ones cannot be with us. We all feel alone at times-That is no reason to go out and get put on meds. Just reassure him that you are there for him. Atleast he knows when he will be home. Others are living on faith and prayers. TELL HIM TO STAY STRONG AND NEVER GIVE UP ON GOD.

Momma Ann · #8 12-17-2010, 10:35 AM

Meds can be very necessary for some. Faith and prayers, can help, but are simply not the whole answer for many, many people who need medical intervention in their depression. At least he should go get an evaluation. He would not be telling you all of this if it was not troubling him a lot.

suthnpeach · #9 12-17-2010, 10:41 AM

Yeah I say go visit. It will definitely help him to see your face in this tough time that he is going through. My guy was depressed on the outside so I know he is super depressed on the inside. That's why the chances I get to go see him I go and hell yeah it hurts leaving him there I want him to run and jump in the car with me. Even though u feel as if u can't handle it try to put yourself in his shoes *impossible I know* but that may be what he needs to lift his spirits! Good luck!!

CrazyLove8286 · #10 12-17-2010, 07:03 PM

I think you should go visit him! It will make him feel better- I promise. My man was writing me telling me very similar things, but once he saw me he light back up. You have to realize that he is going through something we probably couldn’t ever conceive. My man tells me prison is so crazy- and I ask him to tell me what he means . . . and he says no, you don’t deserve to know what really goes on in here. Just keep letting him know that you are there for him no matter what. Let him know how much he matters to you and how important he is to your life. He does have a reason to live even though it doesn’t feel like it for him right now. I hope he starts feeling better!

lovingwifewaiti · #11 12-17-2010, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs.Hidalgo

I feel horrible! So yesterday night my bf called & he sounded sad an he sounds like he is lossing hope? An i tell him wats wrong n he tells me how he really really needs to go home! And i tell him i know love but u cant yet so stay strong u will be home oneday & he tells me i really dont think so anymore, an i tell him wats wrong with u? U r gonna go home one day (he gots a lil less the 7year left) an i tell him u just have to have faith an he tells me how he stoped having faith n stoped praying bcus the more he prays it seems the more god get forether from him i dont know wat to tell him anymore this is one of the first time an i hope the last times that i cant cheer him up! And i feel horrible cus he wants me to vist but i havent felt like i want to i geuss for my own selfish needs like me having scared issues on seeing him in there, how it will break my heart wen i cant take him home how depressed ill get aftewards... I feel sometimes like he deserves better! Even though no will ever love him like i can...

The visit will do both of you wonders. And you will be surprised how it will make both of you smile!! It is worth it and it gets easier every time you go. I go every week end weather permitting now. I don't regret it. Try to go once a month-bet you will want to see him more.

bunniRidge · #12 12-18-2010, 12:27 AM

I agree that you should go visit. I know you think that you don't want to see him in there, but it will mean so much to him, it will cheer him up, and it will get easier. I was absolutely terrified of visiting for so long, and I kept putting it off, and now I'm trying to figure out how I can go more often.

Mrs.Hidalgo · #13 12-22-2010, 09:54 AM

*THANK YOU ALL LADYS* I just wanted to say you Girls are Rite an i been thinking lately myself and decided i want to go beforee i move/: and so now am see the next time his parents will be going, hopefuly it works out becuase ill bee really sad if i dont see him before i move, and another thing yeah i tell him to keep his head up in there and to Not give up On God, but he has his days you know like every other person and lose hope(sad face) well for the meds?? depending how things go this week i talk to him, ill tell him and ask a couple questions like if he feel he is danger to others or himself if so, ill tell him to tell the consuler, and they can help him phyiscaly from there, well i can help him emotionally out here letting him know am here for him(: