Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

codasgirl04 · #1 04-05-2011, 06:07 PM

Hey ladies my relationship has been rocky with my daughters dad, I've done a term, but am possibly signing up for a long term this time.
If you ladies can think back to the beginning of the term till now what has been the positive changes?

Tina · #2 04-05-2011, 10:31 PM

He's had enough time in to stop and realize what's really important to him. His priorities are different now. He's not as hot headed as he used to be (for the most part lol). He has lost enough to know what he really wants out of life. The part that scares me is that I dont know if he iwll know how to get it even though he knows he wants it... I dont know if these are the types of changes you were looking for. I hope this helps some.

codasgirl04 · #3 04-05-2011, 10:38 PM

Yes it does! Thank you! I was so disappointed when he got out last time, I'm hoping this time he learns!

Temeron0926 · #4 04-06-2011, 01:00 AM

We have been doing this a long time, as you know. When Ray and I were first together he was very angry, at the world. He blamed any and everyone except himself for where he was. It took him awhile but he finally took responsibility for his actions and grew up! He has done some schooling, done some intense therapy and done a lot of soul searching. He is tired of being locked up, his attitude is amazing and I am so proud of him.

I would advise YOU do some serious thinking about this. I am not sure what you mean by a "long term" and as you are not new to the prison life, you have an idea of what is going to happen, for the most part. I am NOT trying to talk you out of doing the bid with him, I just want to make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. PM me anytime you want, you know I will tell it like it is! Good Luck!

codasgirl04 · #5 04-06-2011, 05:19 PM

Temeron -thats what I love about you, you do tell it like it is! I know this guy like the back of my hand, we have gone our own seperate ways but some how we always end up back together, I know that while we were broken up his choices caused him to get back in trouble, is there any type of counseling you would recommend?

Temeron0926 · #6 04-12-2011, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by codasgirl04

Temeron -thats what I love about you, you do tell it like it is! I know this guy like the back of my hand, we have gone our own seperate ways but some how we always end up back together, I know that while we were broken up his choices caused him to get back in trouble, is there any type of counseling you would recommend?

I would recommend counseling as both singles and as a couple. If you can find a therapist or better yet a minister who is open minded (I say this because a LOT of ministers are judgemental) then I know you could do counseling, probably at a visit, but it would help. Is he ammendable to doing counseling inside? I know it isn't the best of situations, but in my opinion, some counseling is better than no counseling. The best, very best, you can do is keep the lines of communication open. You have to talk to each other about everything, and yes, I mean everything! There has to be no limits to what is said between you. As long as you respect each other, communication is your best tool.

Let me find a post I did on fair fighting, there IS a way to disagree without causing resentment and anger. Also, I am on my way to work, so let me do some thinking tonight and I will PM you when I get home. I KNOW how hard this is and yes, I am here if you want to discuss anything else. You know where to find me.

codasgirl04 · #7 04-12-2011, 06:50 PM

Thank you temeron! Your post brought me to tears! I just mentioned counseling in a letter to him....I'm willing to try whatever!

hischubchub · #8 04-12-2011, 07:02 PM

My husband is more calm. He can still get a temper, but he is doing much better! He also has different priorities! He started classes and got his GED. He though of taking college classes, but he says the guards there are more strict and dont teach well, so he thinks it would be pointless to attend. He wants to stay out of trouble, which is good thinking on his part.

kae · #9 04-12-2011, 09:45 PM

Hey ladies,

Its been sometime since I've posted in here. The last five years have matured my husband. He no longer takes anything for granted. He realized that one impulsive act has cost him time that he cannot get back. Once released, he has to rebuild his life because he will have to start over professionally and financially.