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Stacieswrath · #1 04-24-2011, 09:54 PM

I love this man with all my heart. But, My heart is soooooooooo HURT, I cant believe him.
Anyone else feel the same?

determined823 · #2 04-24-2011, 10:01 PM

How did he hurt you? Do you mean physically, verbally, emotionally? Did he lie to you? Why can't you trust him? Sorry, I may have missed something......

Free Again · #3 04-24-2011, 10:33 PM

Yeah, I have felt the same thing.... Have heard the sorries and the promises.... It all sucks, your heart knows.... What form the hurt was is irrelevant, it is all pain.... I'm sorry you are feeling bad Hon.

Sounds like you already know what you need, when you are ready, talk it out. We'll be here.

tnm8 · #4 04-25-2011, 02:41 AM

don't they always? this time will be different! i gave all my exes more than one chance....to break my heart, sadly. i now see people don't deserve all those chances.

**LeBeau** · #5 04-25-2011, 05:56 AM

Most abusers make those promises and many even believe it when they say it, but it's very, very rarely true.

nimuay · #6 04-25-2011, 06:28 AM

Do you understand why you don't believe him? It's a gut check, and it's almost always right. You're reading things that will take a lot of time to tease out, but they're there. Little things about his behavior, about his general beliefs, about how he thinks he's so special, so much better than others, they start to give you a hinky feeling about him.

The odds are that it's going to be a lie. He WILL hurt you, unless you are completely subservient (and that may not be enough either) and never, ever look at another human being (you might be considering cheating, or you might be telling them about him and it won't sound good, so you can't do it). Or you've never thought of cheating on him, but he's convinced you will - and that's because he would and can't believe that anyone would or could be different from him. Or he's so mixed - giant ego and very low self-esteem - that you can't see a single, whole person functioning like that.

There are lots of conflicts inside an abuser, but all in all, they are uncomfortable inside, and they never try to get resolution. Never, ever, unless it's court-ordered post-incarceration therapy, and they quit that the minute they're off parole.

You're in more danger from him than you are walking through the worst neighborhood in any city.

montysmom · #7 04-26-2011, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

Do you understand why you don't believe him? It's a gut check, and it's almost always right. You're reading things that will take a lot of time to tease out, but they're there. Little things about his behavior, about his general beliefs, about how he thinks he's so special, so much better than others, they start to give you a hinky feeling about him.

The odds are that it's going to be a lie. He WILL hurt you, unless you are completely subservient (and that may not be enough either) and never, ever look at another human being (you might be considering cheating, or you might be telling them about him and it won't sound good, so you can't do it). Or you've never thought of cheating on him, but he's convinced you will - and that's because he would and can't believe that anyone would or could be different from him. Or he's so mixed - giant ego and very low self-esteem - that you can't see a single, whole person functioning like that.

There are lots of conflicts inside an abuser, but all in all, they are uncomfortable inside, and they never try to get resolution. Never, ever, unless it's court-ordered post-incarceration therapy, and they quit that the minute they're off parole.

You're in more danger from him than you are walking through the worst neighborhood in any city.

This is the best advice you will get, I was in an abusive relationship and I say everyday, I am lucky to be alive right now. I think you already know what you should do and are just looking for confirmation. I pray you make the right decision.

wickit · #8 04-25-2011, 11:46 PM

I agree with nimuay, you know what you feel and that is the real truth!

Lacey.Brianne · #9 04-27-2011, 08:20 AM

Sweetie, if I had a penny, nickel or dime for every time I heard "I will never ever hurt you again"...I'd be able to pay up the national debt WITH MONEY TO SPARE. Every abuser says that to try and keep their victim sucked in. My ex used to say that to me after every beating. It was always..."Baby, I love you so much. You know this isn't who I really am. I promise I'll never hurt you again."...then he'd start crying just to make it sound more believable. I was very young and niave in those days. Trust me, he WILL hurt you again. The question is - How bad will you allow him to hurt you before you say 'enough is enough' and walk away?