Daily Spiritual Help..

[Smoocheiz]

I have been going to regular counceling sessions, which I didn't have too much faith in before because I tried it once and got nothing out of it, but this time around it has been amazing! My councelor handed me this packet with some spiritual help for every day of the month. I'm gonna post the past couple of days because I found it very helpful.

September 12
Healing

"We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way... to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptanve of the irresistible challenge of life."

-Joshua Loth Liebman

Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process- a journey rather than a destination.
just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - get better.
We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.

Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken.

[Smoocheiz]

September 13
Times of Reprogramming

Recovery is not all tiresome, unrewarded work. There are times of joy and rest, times when we comfortably practice what we have learned. There are times of change, times when we struggle to learn something new or overcome a particular problem.
These are the times when what we've been practiving in recovery begins to show in our life. These times of change are intense, but purposeful.
There are also times when, at a deep level, we are being "reprogrammed." We start letting go of beliefs and behaviors. We may feel frightened or confused during these times. Our old behaviors or patterns may not have worked for us, but the were comfortable and familiar.
During these times we may feel vulnerable, lonely, and needy- like we are on a journey withought a road map or a flashlight, and we feel as if no one has traveled this ground before.
We may not understand what is being worked out in us. We may not know where or if we are being led.
We are being led. We are not alone. Our Higher Power is working His finest and best to bring true change in us. Others have traveled this road too. We will be led to someone who can help us, someone who can provide the markers we need.
We are being prepared for receiving as much joy and love as our heart can hold.
Recovery is a process. We can trust it, even when we don't understand it. We are right where we need to be in this process; we're going through exactly what we need to experience. And where we're going is better than any plave we've been.

Today, God, help me believe that the changes I'm going through are for the good. Help me believe that the road I'm traveling will lead to a place of light, love, and joy.

[Smoocheiz]

September 14
What's Good for Me?

When we are soul-searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?... Is this really what I want?... Is this what I need?... Does this direction feel right for me?... Or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow others to have over me?
It is not unhealthy selfishness to question if something is good for us. This is an old way of thinking. To ask if something is good for us is a healthy behavior, not to be ashamed of, and will probably work out in the other person's best interest too.
We shall not wander down a selfish path of self-indulgence by asking if a thing is good for us. We shall not stray from God's intended plan, God's highest good, by asking if a thing is good for us. By asking ourselves this simple question, we participate in directing our life toward the hightest good and purpose; we own our power to hold ourselves in self-esteem.

Today, I will begin acting in my best interests. I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me. I will do this with the understanding that asking if a thing is good for me will unlimately help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices.

[Smoocheiz]

September 15
Getting Through Hard Times

We are sturdy beings. But in many ways, we are fragile. We can accept change and loss, but this comes at our own pace and in our own way. And only we and God can determine the timing.

-Codependent No More

Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth and moving forward.
Wat we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice.
We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through our issues. We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality. Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change.
Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving and growth.
The choice is ours. Will we let ourselves feel? Will we take a spiritual approach, including gratitude, toward the event? Will we question life and our Higher Power by asking what we're supposed to be learning and doing? Or will we use the incident to prove old, negative beliefs? Will we say, "Nothing good ever happens to me... I'm just a victim... People can't be trusted... Life isn't worth living?"
We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change. We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it. But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving whats good in life.

God, let my hard times be healing times.

[Smoocheiz]

September 16
Revenge

No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to se the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person the just rewards they deserve. In fact, we would like to help life out in doing so.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings- the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be the judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness- not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.

Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness- forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.

[Smoocheiz]

September 17
New Relationship Behaviors

We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over-reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. Wel talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-respoinsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.
While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people. these are not behaciors intended only for use in what we call "dysfunctional relationships."
These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.
The recovery behaviors we are learning are tools - healthy relationship skills- that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.
Recovery means self-care - learning to take care of ourselves and love ourselves - with people. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships will become. And we'll never outgrow our need for healthy behaviors.

Today, I will remember to apply my recovery behaviors in all my relationships - with friends and co-worders, as well as in any special love relationship. I will work hard at taking care of myself in the troublesome relationships, figuring out which skill might best apply, I will also consider ways that my healthy relationships might benefit from my new relationship skills.

[dutchgirl1]

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)

[Smoocheiz]

September 18

Letting Good Stuff Happen

Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn’t do very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!

-Anonymous

I want the second part of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I’m afraid it won’t be. Sometimes, I’m frightened it might be.
The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.
The past, particularly before recovery, may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern- the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.
This is not so when we change patterns and begin recovering.
We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We’d be deprived.
Each year would be almost a repeat of the last. Sometimes it got a little worse, sometimes a little better, but the change wasn’t drastic. Not until the moment when we began recovery.
Then things changed. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and our circumstances change. We begin to explore uncharted territory.
Things get good. They do get better all the time. We begin to become successful in love, in work, in life. One day at a time the good stuff begins to happen and the misery dissipates.
We no longer want to be a victim of life. We’ve learned to avoid crisis and trauma.
Life gets good.
“How do I handle the good stuff?” asked one woman. “It’s harder and more foreign than the pain and tragedy.”
“The same way we handled the difficult and the painful experiences,” I replied. “One day at a time.”

Today, God, help me let go of my need to be in pain and crisis. Help me move as swiftly as possible through sad feelings and problems. Help me find my base and balance in peace, joy and gratitude. Help me work as hard at accepting what’s good as I have worked in the past at accepting the painful and the difficult.

[Smoocheiz]

September 19

Apologies

Sometimes, we act in a manner with which we are less than comfortable. That’s human. That’s why we have the words: “I’m sorry.” They heal and bridge the gap. But we don’t have to say “I’m sorry” if we didn’t do anything wrong. A sense of shame can keep us apologizing for everything we do, every word we say, for being alive and being who we are.
We don’t have to apologize for taking care of ourselves, dealing with feelings, setting boundaries, having fun, or getting healthy.
We never have to change our course, if it is in our best interest, but sometimes a general apology acknowledges other feelings and can be useful when the issues of a circumstance or relationship are not clear. We might say: “I’m sorry for the fuss we had. I’m sorry if what I needed to do to take care of myself hurt you’ it was not intended that way.”
Once we make an apology, we don’t have to keep repeating it. If someone wants to keep on extracting an apology from us for the same incident, that is the person’s issue and we don’t have to get hooked.
We can learn to take our apologies seriously and not hand them out when they’re not valid. When we feel good about ourselves, we know when its time to say we’re sorry and when its not.

Today, I will try to be clear and healthy in my apologies, taking responsibility for my actions and nobody else’s. God, help me figure out what I need to apologize for and what is not my responsibility.