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Sunflower · #1 10-13-2011, 04:50 AM

Many of you know my story, I will post it all soon!!! I just wanted to share he knew he was facing life in prison. But the DA offered him 20 years plus the judge threw in 10 years as a registered sex offender. He REFUSED said he was walking out a free man!!
30 minutes of me being on the stand, I broke down and asked for a break next thing I knew they rushed me out and was bringing him out. He took the plea. After an hour it was over he was sentenced and cuffed and I was able to read my victim impact statement!! It was hard but I stayed strong.
Id like to share it with you!!
First I would like to apologize for the language I had to use and the graphic details I had to say outloud.
Before I met the defandant I was a single mom raising 4 kids on my own, I was proud of who I have become, one thing I was able to pride myself on was I was not afraid of my home, I was not afraid of my future.
I have always trusted people no matter what. Then I met the defendant, and my biggest mistake ever was trying to fix someone that didnt want to be fixed.
I believed everything he told me and trusted him. When he went to jail the first time I felt I had to stand by him. I quickly learned that I could not stand by someone thatt refused to change. But also felt it was
my responsibility to make sure Colbys dad was ok and be in his life. May 22nd 2010 my life changed forever. The defandant took my dignity from me. He replaced my pride with fear, I live with fear daily.
I fear of the day he is released how I will protect my son.I fear he will escape and kill Colby and I, I fear of how I will explain to Colby that even though none of this is his fault his father is a monster.I live
with the fact I trusted a rapist in my home with my daughters. I am their mother and I am suppose to protect them and I let a rapist sleep in the same home as they did. I want/need the court to know that
Colby is nothing like his father, the defandant is weak and cruel and Colby is a very strong little boy, he is so loving and I will raise him to be honest, respectfull, fear free and to obey the law. It is my job to right all
the wrongs his father did. I have been called a "hero" by detective John Towler and it tore my heart out that a man I respect so much thought of me as a "hero" knowing im not. I should of been a hero and not
let things get as far as they did. Ive been called "strong" I am not strong, a strong person doesnt live in fear. The sight, sound of a gun makes me shake with fear, the sound of breaking glass makes me flashback.
The defandant knows he is guily of his crimes, he planned to kill me and his child. I often think of the woman that stopped along the road to see the bear, she had no idea the danger she was in, the danger I was in.
Just a trusting person that pulled over to see a bear, she could of been raped and killed that day. I pray for her often hoping she is safe. I am so thankfull God gave me the strength to survie and to be able to raise my son. I pray to God
I never ever have to see his face again, even though his face shows up in my nightmares I never want to see him in person again. I never want to hear his voice. I will use my story and exsperience to help other women that have been
assulted. I will let other woman know that no matter what they did they do not deserve what happened to them. I pray the defendant makes peace with what he did and accepts his sentence. My goal is to become fear free again one day.
To be able to sleep in my bed again without fear, to one day look out that window and not remember him, but to enjoy looking outside. Preparing for this trial has been so hard for me, I have had to dig deap and bring allot of painfull
memories up, I hope and pray to walk out this courtroom and be able to let some of this fear go. I want to walk out of this courtroom not a victim but a survivor.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!
LISA

Erics4ever · #2 10-13-2011, 06:30 AM

This brought tears to my eyes.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Whether you believe it or not, YOU ARE STRONG and little by little, day by day, you will start to feel/know/believe that as well.

nimuay · #3 10-13-2011, 06:42 AM

Honey, you will do what you said - you will walk without fear, for your son, for your self. It will come!

Meanwhile, my heart hugs you . . .

mg113 · #4 10-13-2011, 09:28 AM

All I can say is WOW you are a strong woman..... I have so much respect for what you did...............You will definitely be in my prayers ((hugs))

Lisa

Free Again · #5 10-13-2011, 03:52 PM

Your strength has been tested Honey and YOU WON!!!. Being brave, being strong, being a hero, does not mean being fearless but standing your ground in the face of hardship and adversity and this YOU HAVE DONE!. I wish you peace and love Sunflower, it is your time to bloom..... (((((HUGS))))

KAM70 · #6 10-13-2011, 03:59 PM

It is so good you are out of that situation. You say your not a hero, yet you most definitely are one. You got yourself and your family away from a monster of a guy, and you stood up to him, and called him on it in court, in front of witnesses. THAT is a hero. You have a long road ahead, but the further you go down it, the easier it will get. I wish you all the best from now on.

VintageGirl · #7 10-13-2011, 05:09 PM

Wow Sunflower, I am sorry that you had to go through what you been through. But the worst is over now. It's time to start rebuilding another life with your kids and you seem like a strong woman and I wish you all the best.

wickit · #8 10-13-2011, 05:23 PM

I am so happy for you and I'm glad to hear from you too! Oh what a relief, you did good girl!

Hugs!

sage26 · #9 10-13-2011, 05:35 PM

Wow! For you to go through all of that i would say you are a strong woman. Some of the things you said was up lefting. Thanks

**LeBeau** · #10 10-13-2011, 07:11 PM

OH! Baby, I am in tears of great joy and deep relief about the outcome and I am so, so bloody proud of you... you done soooooo good and YES you ARE a hero! You have shown so much strength and courage and determination. Quite dazzling, really.
My mom also sends her admiration and congratulations.

You'll heal, bit by bit, two steps forward and one step back and by jagged, unpredictable increments- some will be huge leaps, others too tiny to see until they are very much in the rear view mirror but it's all progress, big steps and small and you will get where you want to be.
YOU, I have a lot of faith in.

Sunflower · #11 10-13-2011, 07:31 PM

Thanks everyone!! I am so proud and happy to be free!!
My biggest lesson is be careful what you post on a public forum a snake found me and sent all my post to his defense lawyer!!! So I had to be careful, I only posted the truth but snakes can twist anything around.
BUT once again the truth is what got him! 30 minutes of seeing I wont back down and I was willing to stay strong and put him away he broke and pleaded!!!
Ive learned so much about myself and I can say I am proud, I didn't back down, I couldn't. I did this for my sons safety! But it felt DAMN GOOD to read my VIS out loud and he had to hear it word for word, I waited 1.4 years to say these words to him and it was worth it. My story is powerful and this is just the beginning for me. I will help so many with my story. You all will see me on this forum daily!!!
So many of you have helped me in so many ways and I thank all of you!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
LOVE YA
LISA

nimuay · #12 10-13-2011, 07:58 PM

Makin' me cry over here . . .

Sunflower · #13 10-13-2011, 08:10 PM

Aw Nim you and LeBlue are such strong ladies!!! And now its my turn to lend some advice. You always give tough love, I wont sugar coat a thing.

Hardest part was my rape kit wasnt sent off, and the nurse was going to testify for the dense since I didnt have massive tearing!! Hard to fight when you have a gun to your head, she was willing to state I was "calm" during my rape kit. I had to have my 2 yo son in the room and hold him most of the time during a rape kit, also knowing the defendant was in the same hospital. NEVER trust anyone to stand up for you!! BUT as long as you have the truth you will be fine!!!!

Free Again · #14 10-14-2011, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunflower

Aw Nim you and LeBlue are such strong ladies!!! And now its my turn to lend some advice. You always give tough love, I wont sugar coat a thing.

Hardest part was my rape kit wasnt sent off, and the nurse was going to testify for the dense since I didnt have massive tearing!! Hard to fight when you have a gun to your head, she was willing to state I was "calm" during my rape kit. I had to have my 2 yo son in the room and hold him most of the time during a rape kit, also knowing the defendant was in the same hospital. NEVER trust anyone to stand up for you!! BUT as long as you have the truth you will be fine!!!!

OK, I'm with ya there... NOT sugar coating/being blunt can cause a lil backlash sometimes, this I know from my own experience but you gotta do it YOUR way no matter what!. I learned that too, and ALL here.

As to the other stuff, it's over.... You don't have to care about it anymore, I had a very hard time getting over the rage but when I did, I realised just how amazing life can be. You have all the tools you need to move on from here and excel and I look forward to hearing ALL of it!!

pbbowden11 · #15 10-14-2011, 09:44 PM

mooshy · #16 10-16-2011, 02:34 PM

OMG Sunflower you did it!

.....so bloomin' pleased for you (and other half says you are one strong mummy

)
XX

bumblebee37 · #17 10-16-2011, 04:43 PM

Well I started crying but they ended in tears of joy! You made it out babe, you and your kids made it out so it makes you survivors. Keep your head held high as you help others because even if you don't feel like it now someday you may really be someones hero by showing them a different way because you were strong enough to take the path yourself.
Signed with a lot of respect for you. Mary

HesMyForever · #18 10-24-2011, 11:40 PM

((((Hugs)))) I'm so proud of you! You ARE a strong, amazing woman...and definitely a hero! Your VIS brought tears to my eyes; I'm sorry you had to endure all of that, but you made it!

JAAP0511 · #19 10-29-2011, 08:19 PM

what you did took strength, you are very strong

Sweetswife · #20 10-30-2011, 07:44 AM

Lisa You ARE strong. Check out Fantasia's song.....I'm Doing Me. We used it as a theme at our domestic violence vigil early in October. Continue standing up for yourself and being FREE!!!!!!

KellySeven · #21 10-30-2011, 02:49 PM

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting despite of it."
Standing up took courage, and strength. My prayers for your healing.

Takingchances · #22 10-30-2011, 11:54 PM

Wow! That made me. Thank you so very much for sharing that with us girls. I am so thankful that you got justice as well as got all of that off your chest. Stay strong<3

Searching1 · #23 11-10-2011, 08:50 PM

I am so happy for you and your children!!!!!

NikNak88 · #24 12-21-2011, 09:45 PM

Wow....I know this is an older thread, but good for you hon :hug: You ARE strong....don't ever doubt yourself. You've done what many women wish they could do or what many women's families now wish they WOULD have done before it was too late. One day you will walk fearless.....one day at a time. Hang in there! Thank you for sharing that with us.

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