I'm happy but can't stop crying

[afirsttimer]

Well mine gets out again on the 24th, 10 more days. I should be happy right? Wrong. I am happy but I can't stop crying. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so happy but at the same time I can't stop crying. I don't know what is wrong with me. He wants to get married the week after he gets released. I got him to think it's a good idea to do it in July (our anniversary). We're going to pick rings out the day I pick him up. He wants to start wearing his ring as soon as he gets it. I told him he can't. He has to wait until we take our vows. I really love him but I can't stop crying. For those of you that know my story you would remember he violated twice. I can't do this anymore and I told him if he violates again I couldn't put myself through it again. He understands that. Maybe that is why I am crying. Am I scared of the future?

Also, about the marriage. I had a conversation with a coworker who's also a minister and he asked me if I'm ready to get married and the wedding is the easy part, it's the marriage that is difficult. I am not worried about the marriage. He is my best friend. We have a great relationship and we have a true partnership in and out. I'm not worried about that. I am worried about the wedding. Is this normal? I don't want a big to do. I just want to go to the justice of the peace. He wants a ceremony and everything. What's going on with me?

[gabbygirl372001]

one word. stress. you'll be ok, just relax!

[patchouli]

Been there done that. The happy/crying/freak'n out/scared/ stressed Second Homecoming thing. Its all so incongruent, and its a weird feeling. There are many changes in store for both you...and you know it having done this before. And yes, its scary as hell wondering if they'll violate yet again. I really don't have any advice other than the perverbial "take one day at a time" after he gets Home, same as you did on all this journey so far.

Oh....and as much as you'd like too, do not be up his arse 24/7 or inadvertantly try to be his Momma in an effort to make sure he doesn't violate. Trust me, that's easier said than done. Be patient and give him space when he needs it. Give yourself space when YOU need it.

I'm with you on the wedding, Justice of the Peace works for me. Perhaps ya'll can compromise and have a small wedding at home, someone's backyard, or a park rather than a big sha-bang. My Neice had a wedding at her folks place, all the guests brought "pot-luck" for the dinner afterward. It was different, but it worked and worked well. It was more personal, family oriented and less complicated...more like a family outing. And yes, the bride wore a gown and the groom wore a tux, but even that isn't necessary. JMHO

You'll be fine sweetie, whatever you decide. Breathe!! Congratulations on his Homecoming

[stacienoelle]

Originally Posted by afirsttimer

Well mine gets out again on the 24th, 10 more days. I should be happy right? Wrong. I am happy but I can't stop crying. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so happy but at the same time I can't stop crying. I don't know what is wrong with me. He wants to get married the week after he gets released. I got him to think it's a good idea to do it in July (our anniversary). We're going to pick rings out the day I pick him up. He wants to start wearing his ring as soon as he gets it. I told him he can't. He has to wait until we take our vows. I really love him but I can't stop crying. For those of you that know my story you would remember he violated twice. I can't do this anymore and I told him if he violates again I couldn't put myself through it again. He understands that. Maybe that is why I am crying. Am I scared of the future?

Also, about the marriage. I had a conversation with a coworker who's also a minister and he asked me if I'm ready to get married and the wedding is the easy part, it's the marriage that is difficult. I am not worried about the marriage. He is my best friend. We have a great relationship and we have a true partnership in and out. I'm not worried about that. I am worried about the wedding. Is this normal? I don't want a big to do. I just want to go to the justice of the peace. He wants a ceremony and everything. What's going on with me?

alright my guy gets home in 2 weeks and im feelings exactly the same way except i am going throught with the wedding because i love him and i trust him that hes not going to mess up again and if he does then i will leave him until he gets his act together. and my man has worn his wedding ring since the day i boght him it. a year ago. and were not even married yet. its his engament ring i think its SO cute that he wants the world to know hes commited to me. i odnt know why you wouldnt be happpy with that unless you dont love him?

just breath you dont need to worry about the wedding or anything right now. worry about today
when he gets home then worry about it.

[taraadele18]

I got a feeling I'm gonna be the same way. We still have 78 days, but plan on gettin married ASAP. No big wedding, we've both been married before. It's stress getting to you, your worried about him messing up again, to be doing this all over again. That I'm sure crosses all of our minds. I hope you're feeling better.... Breathe and try to relax! Everything will be just fine!

Sent from my iPhone using PrisonTalk

[afirsttimer]

I do love him. That is not in question at all. I guess I'm just nervous of what will happen when he gets home. He has no luck at all. He has done so much dirt in the past that the police know him by name and sight. They take him in for breathing wrong and his PO man that man is a piece of work. I think he literally hates him and would call me just to chop it up. Neither one of us liked that at all but what could we do to prevent this man from calling me. I'm hoping he's been in on the violation long enough that he's off the PO's caseload and he gets someone else. I know what that PO did was not cool but who do you complain about a PO calling the girlfriend (mind you he wasn't even paroled to me) without repercussions? You can't. It's a catch 22. And this PO would call me while I was at work obviously not with him. IDK. I'm scared. I can admit that.

[stacienoelle]

Originally Posted by afirsttimer

I do love him. That is not in question at all. I guess I'm just nervous of what will happen when he gets home. He has no luck at all. He has done so much dirt in the past that the police know him by name and sight. They take him in for breathing wrong and his PO man that man is a piece of work. I think he literally hates him and would call me just to chop it up. Neither one of us liked that at all but what could we do to prevent this man from calling me. I'm hoping he's been in on the violation long enough that he's off the PO's caseload and he gets someone else. I know what that PO did was not cool but who do you complain about a PO calling the girlfriend (mind you he wasn't even paroled to me) without repercussions? You can't. It's a catch 22. And this PO would call me while I was at work obviously not with him. IDK. I'm scared. I can admit that.

my man has been in and out of prison since he was 16. hes 22 now. so i know how you feel. the longest hes been out was 6 months. so i know EXACTLY how you feel, you just have to lay down the law. you do this again and im GONE and stick to it. im still getting married to my man the day after he gets out. even if im scared hes going to go back i still love him and i still want to marry him

maybe you can hold off the wedding for a year? that way u can make sure he stays out? and with his PO i know how that is.
my fiances parole officer used to come to my house and talk to me when my fiance was at work and he would threaten me that he was going to take away my fiance and put him there for as long as he could.
so i understand being scared.

just give him a chance... you cant live your life under a rock full of worries and stress it just makes life harder on you.

take a breath and just be happy he is getting out and let go and let God