Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Sweet_Tee · #1 03-25-2012, 01:56 AM

Hello, my MWI sisters. I am up because my nerves are on edge right now. I will try to give a summary of my situation so here goes. Forgive me in advance if I talk too much, which I will. Lol.

Ok, so I was introduced to my MWI through my at the time bestfriend (she is married to his brother). This was back in 2007/08. We wrote eachother and all I had heard about him was he was a sweetheart. Which he truly turned out to be. At the time he was still married to the mother of his children. But he no longer wanted to be with her because 3 months after he went in, she had sex in his truck with a guy while the kids were in the back sleeping (so she thought). Anyhoo, I fell for him, he fell for me. After about a year and a half of corresponding, my homegirl told me that she had the feeling he was going to ask his mom to buy a ring so he can propose to me.

I jetted!! Scared the holy crap outta me so I stopped writing. Ignored his letters, just left him alone. No longer friends with my former bff so I had no contact with anyone. As time passed I would write a letter to him and rip it up. Couldn't bring myself to do it :-(. I got in another relationship but wasn't happy so I left him. Needed time to find myself. Needed time to not be someone's girlfriend. Needed time to breathe. All the while I never forgot about him.

Fast forward 2011. He was on my mind so much that I decided to write and see how he was doing. I wrote this long letter apologizing for the way I left him. Telling him how scared I was. Asking for his forgiveness and friendship. And to let him know I still cared for him. I didn't rip this one. I sent it!

Waiting for a response, I had all sorts of panic attacks. What if he reconciled with his wife? What if my former bff introduced him to another chick and he was now happy with her? What if I ran away from sharing true love? What if it was too late for me? What if he hated me? Blaaaaah!!!

10 days later, I received his response. His divorce was finalized 2 years prior. He had been worried about me, that something may have happened to me in the city. After trying to reach me several times, he gave up on me and love.

March 2012, he is my life and I am his. His parents want me to come move with them until he comes home. That's four years away. I didn't plan on that. He wants to get married and so do I. He didn't want to ask me for fear I would run again. But after many hints and me hinting back that I'm his forever, he asked. Lol. I'm not scared any more, just nervous as all hell. People don't understand this sort of relationship. And I don't care. I'm not worrying about who approves or disapproves. I'm doing me for once. And it feels GOOD!

Thanks for reading. Damn, I tried to summarize! My bad ;-)

Savannh · #2 03-25-2012, 02:02 AM

Aww thanks for sharing and congrats I love to see good storys and congrats

Sweet_Tee · #3 03-25-2012, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Savannh

Aww thanks for sharing and congrats I love to see good storys and congrats

:-) Thank you, Savannh!! Glad to have ppl to share it with who understand. It's a great feeling!

tayincalifornia · #4 03-25-2012, 02:20 AM

Congratsulations & best of luuckk<3
Happy for you

Godbless

Sweet_Tee · #5 03-25-2012, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by S&T4everr

Congratsulations & best of luuckk<3
Happy for you

Godbless

Thank you, so much. Blessings back to you.

Sheryl P. · #6 03-25-2012, 04:09 AM

Aweee.that is super sweet that he was so in love with you that he never moved on and that once you came around to being ready to make a commitment to him,he was still in love with you.
I am so happy you were able to open your heart up to him and Congratulations!!

mallafri · #7 03-25-2012, 06:22 AM

Such a sweet story, if that's not true love, I don't know what is! Congratulations on your wonderful relationship! So are you gonna wait to get married until he gets out or you're gonna do it sooner? Just being Curious George!

Sweet_Tee · #8 03-25-2012, 08:24 AM

Thanks ladies :-) @ Sheryl P, I am glad I finally came to my senses about him. I am still scared though. But this time I hid my sneakers so I can't run. Lol. I couldn't and refuse to do that to him again. @ Mallafri, at 1st I told him my plan of waiting until at least a year after he comes home. You know, just to see how we are domestically. And of course, he had to make his presentation, and I'm so serious, in a letter he listed the pros and cons of why we should wait and the pros and cons of why we should do it now. And had the nerve to end it with "and my final statement is..." I was on the floor laughing like look at him! Should've represented himself in court, he might've gotten a shorter sentence. Lmaooo. But we are sending paperwork out tomorrow. *butterflies*

MissVal1920 · #9 03-25-2012, 09:20 AM

Great story and not unlike many of our own experiences whether we vocalize them or not. It sometimes can be a difficult transition to pull ourselves out what we've always know to be a "normal" relationship into what we know to be irrational but 100% right. Sometimes it does mean gettin on those kicks and jetting. Sometimes it means stepping back and really coming to terms with our own needs and desires and push aside what everyone else seems to think we should have or desire. Tee, you brought yourself over a few hurdles to realize that your happiness is not totally rational and maybe wrong as hell to everyone else around you. But everyone else around is not where your heart is and I applaud you for now realizing the value that he has in your life you in his.

HesMyForever · #10 03-25-2012, 10:16 AM

Awwww....what a sweet story! Thank you for sharing it with us. Congrats and I wish you all the best!!

PS. I think you have a great way of writing.

Sweet_Tee · #11 03-25-2012, 10:20 AM

Thanks MissVal. I tried to find every reason why I shouldn't. But my inner feelings, brought me back. And I'm a sucker for elders. Everytime I call his parents and they get so excited that they have to put me on speaker so they both can talk to me, makes me love him and them even more. I regret wasting time but everything happens for a reason and when it's supposed to. I wasn't ready for him or this lifestyle, I had to mature mentally. It takes a strong person to go through this. He calls me his rock and that I will be until the end of time. What he doesn't realize is he makes me stronger. Can't wait to officially get that last name :-D

Sweet_Tee · #12 03-25-2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HesMyForever

Awwww....what a sweet story! Thank you for sharing it with us. Congrats and I wish you all the best!!

PS. I think you have a great way of writing.

Thank you. It was my pleasure to share my story with you all. This is home and WE are family. I had to share with my family.

tearfallzbreak · #13 03-25-2012, 10:56 AM

Ahh i love your story

i will prob be moving in a year to be with my mwi! Scared nervous but im following my heart... My family has finally come around to our relationship and im grateful. Im glad you guys came back together. These r my favorite kinds of stories!!!

babygiirl · #14 03-25-2012, 11:04 AM

it's crazy how something in us just clicks & tells us to run from something good. i always do that. i did that with my fiancee when he started to hint that he had real feelings for me. i shut down completely but we got over it just like you two did.

you really prove that whole "set something free" saying. you set him free & it all came back to you & now you know that you two are meant to be ;]

Klewis · #15 03-25-2012, 11:09 AM

I love your story and it just proves these relationships are just as normal as any other because yours is almost just like mines. You both let each other go and some years later you found yourself back together and the circumstances probably is much better this time, then they was last time. He was married and you was scared. Its real love when they never stop loving you. My Fiance' has been wanting and loving me for 18 years and once I came back there was no doubt in his mind to take me back. So congratulations to you.

Sweet_Tee · #16 03-25-2012, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tearfallzbreak

Ahh i love your story

i will prob be moving in a year to be with my mwi! Scared nervous but im following my heart... My family has finally come around to our relationship and im grateful. Im glad you guys came back together. These r my favorite kinds of stories!!!

Thank you. And good for you, Sweetheart!!! I wish you all the best. My family consist of my mom and my 2 younger brothers. My brothers know about him but not how serious, they will find out. Lol. My mother, she thinks all is a joke and it pisses me off because I'm deadass saying I love this man and she goes, "for now". *smdh* I say forever. I haven't told her we're getting married yet because I don't want to hear it.
Ever have people in your life who claim to love you but just can't seem to be happy when you're happy? Yeah, that's my mother. I put my life on hold for her for too long. I love who I love and she will accept it.....eventually. Most important thing is he loves her daughter, no matter where he currently resides.

Olderthanmost · #17 03-25-2012, 11:37 AM

I love happy endings!

You shared a great story with us! Too many times, we see and hear the heartbreaking side. BUT! You reminded us that we can have happy, fulfilled lives. Things do turn out right! God Bless! Step out there in faith!

brokennglass · #18 03-25-2012, 11:33 AM

This story made me feel so good . I am so impressed that you valued both him and your self enough to move as carefully as you did even if your reaction hurt him in the beginning. Someone once told me that relationships are built by coming back together after falling apart,.over a lifetime. hearing your story shows that love is a verb. And a volitional act. Not random chance at all. Thank you for sharing. <3

Sweet_Tee · #19 03-25-2012, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babygiirl

it's crazy how something in us just clicks & tells us to run from something good. i always do that. i did that with my fiancee when he started to hint that he had real feelings for me. i shut down completely but we got over it just like you two did.

you really prove that whole "set something free" saying. you set him free & it all came back to you & now you know that you two are meant to be ;]

Right!!!! My thing is, I have been hurt so much that the thought of someone actually loving me for the long haul scared the hell out of me. I had to learn to trust again. Without trust, it is impossible to give or receive love because you will be too busy doubting to experience that feeling of true love. I had to remind myself that his name is not Mr. Ex. And it's unfair to judge the Next by the actions of my Ex.

Sweet_Tee · #20 03-25-2012, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klewis

I love your story and it just proves these relationships are just as normal as any other because yours is almost just like mines. You both let each other go and some years later you found yourself back together and the circumstances probably is much better this time, then they was last time. He was married and you was scared. Its real love when they never stop loving you. My Fiance' has been wanting and loving me for 18 years and once I came back there was no doubt in his mind to take me back. So congratulations to you.

I have read quite a few of your posts and you are one of the women here that have helped me to further bring my guard down. So to you, I want to say, Thank you!! Thank you for sharing and allowing me to share in your experiences. 18 years!!!!! REAL love, right there!! ((hugs))

Sweet_Tee · #21 03-25-2012, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brokennglass

This story made me feel so good . I am so impressed that you valued both him and your self enough to move as carefully as you did even if your reaction hurt him in the beginning. Someone once told me that relationships are built by coming back together after falling apart,.over a lifetime. hearing your story shows that love is a verb. And a volitional act. Not random chance at all. Thank you for sharing. <3

Thank you. Though I thought I was running because of my own selfishness, I do look back now at the bigger picture and see that it was for the best. And right now with this 2nd chance I feel our love is stronger than it would have been had we not experienced what it felt like to be apart.

brokennglass · #22 03-25-2012, 11:48 AM

I agree. we went through somethimg similar but it was HIM running from me. Then it was my turn to.run. It wasn't until.after we.both did it that we realized what we had and started putting in the hard work. it wouldn't be anywhere as beautiful without dealing with the truth of the darker parts of who we are and walking through it together. For what it's worth I'm way proud of you!

Sweet_Tee · #23 03-25-2012, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olderthanmost

I love happy endings!

You shared a great story with us! Too many times, we see and hear the heartbreaking side. BUT! You reminded us that we can have happy, fulfilled lives. Things do turn out right! God Bless! Step out there in faith!

Thank you. Funny you said that. His closing statement for why we should get married now was because people of the 1950's stepped out on faith and they put in elbow grease to make it work. They didn't live together 1st to test it out. They jumped. And with that closing statement, I knew if I was ever gonna jump, this is the man I want to hold my hand. Lol.

Sweet_Tee · #24 03-25-2012, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brokennglass

I agree. we went through somethimg similar but it was HIM running from me. Then it was my turn to.run. It wasn't until.after we.both did it that we realized what we had and started putting in the hard work. it wouldn't be anywhere as beautiful without dealing with the truth of the darker parts of who we are and walking through it together. For what it's worth I'm way proud of you!

Awww! Don't make me cry before I get to work. Happy tears of course but tears none the less. Lol

countryzgirl · #25 03-25-2012, 01:56 PM

Great story! Thanks for sharing. Good for you for following your heart and using your head. Congrats on sending the paperwork! I wish you both the very best.