Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

renelson · #1 04-23-2012, 02:43 PM

My husband goes to court on 5/1 for his sentencing, we are hoping & praying for a non-prison sentence but think he is going to serve 2-3 yrs. He is going to plead to the bench and we aren't sure what to expect from that. I am terrified. I don't know what will happen. I know if he is sentenced he will go into custody that day. What happens from there? We have 3 children and they don't know what is going on, we are going to talk to them this Thursday. What do we say? How long will it be before I can see him, talk to him, or have contact after he goes in? How do I know if the place he is going is safe? I am so scared for him because he is a really mild mannered, little guy and I am worried about his safety. I have never been in this situation & don't know anyone who has ever had to do time. I am looking for any help, advice, or guidance. Thank you so much.

**patchouli** · #2 04-23-2012, 04:39 PM

First things first: Breathe! This isn't an easy journey, but its doable. I can't answer your questions for Florida facilities, so I've moved your thread to the Florida forum

The fine folks here can better answer your questions.

Welcome to PTO!

Olderthanmost · #3 04-23-2012, 05:45 PM

Hi! Welcome to PTO!

You will find answers for your questions here as well as support! You will meet folks who have walked or are walking just where you are right now! Read as much as you can ! There is some good info on here! God Bless!

NAN425 · #4 04-23-2012, 06:46 PM

Sorry you are going through this...I remember those pre-sentencing days all too vividly. Try to think one step at a time.

First, get to a personal lawyer ASAP! In case he goes away, you need a power of attorney document drawn up that gives you the authority to act in legal and financial affairs on his behalf when he's not there. You also should have wills and guardianship papers for your children drawn up in case something happens to you while he is away. I know you do not want to think about these things in the time before sentencing, but you will really regret it later if you do not (especially the power of attorney for sure - I can't tell you how often I've used mine in the past 16 months).

The below is written assuming he is going away:

What to tell your kids is difficult...depends on their ages and maturity. Whatever you do, DO NOT LIE TO THEM. Kids are smarter than we ever give them credit for and when they figure out they've been lied to (and they will, sooner or later), they won't ever trust you again when it was about something so important. Depending on their ages, tell them just enough to make them understand he's going away but not forever and the basics of where. Depending on their ages, they don't have to know why. But above all - just make them know that they are loved by both of you, you are still a family and daddy will come home some day. That is what is most important to them. I know that is all my 8 year old seems to care about even though she misses her daddy desperately.

How soon you can see and talk to him will vary. He should be able to call home immediately from jail but it will be expensive. When they transfer him to state custody (which could be days or weeks after sentencing), he will lose phone privileges until he gets a phone list approved. You have to have an account with Securus. As of May 1st, inmates can call cell phones or landlines so you won't have to worry about getting a landline if you don't have one already as long as your cellphone is eligible under the rules (not pre-paid, etc).

You can probably visit him at the county while he's still being held there. That depends on how long he's there and if they have an approval system you have to go through, or appointments you have to make. Check with the jail when he goes into custody about the visitation rules.

Once he's at state he won't be able to have visitors until he gets through the reception process and is moved to his permanent camp, and your visitation application is approved. That whole process could take a few weeks or months. My husband was sentenced on the 4th of a month, and I visited him for the first time the 19th of the next month at his permanent camp, so it was about 6 weeks. But that was pretty fast I hear. It can take longer. Be prepared for the fact that DOC frequently places people extremely far from home. My husband spent most of the past 16 months almost 7 hours away from home. They don't consider at all the location of the inmate's home or family in deciding where to place them.

People on here can give you information about the camps he is at to tell you what they are like. If you tell us where he is being sentenced we can tell you what reception center he'll be taken to and a bit about that.

Don't forget that you can always write letters even when you can't talk and visit. The first thing you'll want to do when he arrives at reception is send him some stamps, envelopes and paper, and put some money on his canteen account. There's also other tips in the mail forum about things you can send to bring him some cheer. First thing you'll want to send is family photos most likely! I send mine as 3.5x5 because then he can fit two of them on each page of the 5x7 photo album pages they can have they buy from the canteen.

I won't kid you...this won't be easy and the first part will especially suck as you all adjust. But it does get better and you've found this place which will offer you plenty of help and advice. Hang in there. I remember what it's like to be facing that day all too well...you will get through this. One step at a time.