Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Strong4us · #1 05-08-2012, 10:07 AM

When I started visiting my bf it was all new to me so I didn't know too much. I wore a top alittle too low n was warned to keep it up durning my visit. Ok cool,check! So I go in the visiting room and this one female CO,boy did she get upset! She kept coming over telling me pick it up! I didn't think it was "falling down" but again ok cool! That was a yr ago. I now have "visiting appropriate clothes". So this one CO doesn't work the VR very often but when she does.....something is always going wrong with OUR visit! My top is always sliding down! Umm, well I wear a tank under ALL my shirts to avoid showing my girls,u cant even see the crease but yet its still too low! Plus, the COs at check in who shake me down let me in....so apparently they feel what I'm wearing is deemed ok. Once, she said if u cant keep it up then ur gonna have to leave! WTF,how much higher do u want it?! And another time,my man was rubbing my arm n she said we were touching inappropriately n needed to stop that we were only allowed to hold hands....he was rubbing my forearm by my wrist! Nvr had we had a problem b4 with any other CO but this one......ugh! Always all eyes on us! U know when u can feel someone staring at u! Thank goodness shes hardly there! We're just trying to enjoy our visit,our date and she just HAS to remind us where we are by ALWAYS having something to say! SN: she NVR once has a . Always mean mugging! Poor lady-she must need a hug!

Anyways,just ranting!

Princess1029 · #2 05-08-2012, 10:21 AM

Last time I went to see my husband I felt like they were only watching us too! I hate it! & has for him running your arm I've seen so many people get 'in trouble' for that it's dumb! Try to not let it bother you, I let it go usually. It's part of visit ya know?

InmateLover67 · #3 05-08-2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

When I started visiting my bf it was all new to me so I didn't know too much. I wore a top alittle too low n was warned to keep it up durning my visit. Ok cool,check! So I go in the visiting room and this one female CO,boy did she get upset! She kept coming over telling me pick it up! I didn't think it was "falling down" but again ok cool! That was a yr ago. I now have "visiting appropriate clothes". So this one CO doesn't work the VR very often but when she does.....something is always going wrong with OUR visit! My top is always sliding down! Umm, well I wear a tank under ALL my shirts to avoid showing my girls,u cant even see the crease but yet its still too low! Plus, the COs at check in who shake me down let me in....so apparently they feel what I'm wearing is deemed ok. Once, she said if u cant keep it up then ur gonna have to leave! WTF,how much higher do u want it?! And another time,my man was rubbing my arm n she said we were touching inappropriately n needed to stop that we were only allowed to hold hands....he was rubbing my forearm by my wrist! Nvr had we had a problem b4 with any other CO but this one......ugh! Always all eyes on us! U know when u can feel someone staring at u! Thank goodness shes hardly there! We're just trying to enjoy our visit,our date and she just HAS to remind us where we are by ALWAYS having something to say! SN: she NVR once has a . Always mean mugging! Poor lady-she must need a hug!

Anyways,just ranting!

I understand where you are coming from, as I have had my share of unhappy CO's. Some are more lenient than others, you just have to be extra careful about what you wear. I always wear really conservative clothing, because you never know who will be working that day, that feels your attire is out of code.

I wore a pair of low-rise pants one day and the female CO came up and told me to be careful and not let my lower back show, and that the cameras above me were taking it all in....Sad, I know, but it is what it is.

Some of them need more than a hug, but I am not willing to risk my visits or be serving my own sentence for assault..lol.

Just keep it simple and know that you will usually have a few that screw it up for the good ones.

Peace~

Strong4us · #4 05-08-2012, 10:38 AM

Ya, I pretty much expect to be hassled so its whatever. But she needs a hobby or some lovin or something! Like I said u can even see the crease of my breast! I bet if I wore a turtle neck she'd still find something! As far as the arm touching she was being a b****! I have a big butt so when I stand I have to pull my pants up so my crack doesn't show and yet again I was told I was standing too long! Huh? How long does it take to adjust ur pants?2 seconds? Yes,she got off her chair walked to the vending machines and told me. Haha,shes crazy!

Princess1029 · #5 05-08-2012, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

Ya, I pretty much expect to be hassled so its whatever. But she needs a hobby or some lovin or something! Like I said u can even see the crease of my breast! I bet if I wore a turtle neck she'd still find something! As far as the arm touching she was being a b****! I have a big butt so when I stand I have to pull my pants up so my crack doesn't show and yet again I was told I was standing too long! Huh? How long does it take to adjust ur pants?2 seconds? Yes,she got off her chair walked to the vending machines and told me. Haha,shes crazy!

I always have to pull my pants up when I stand up. Then I adjust my shirt before I walk anywhere lol. Geez that'd be super annoying. At least you don't deal with her too often!

mrs.beautifly1 · #6 05-08-2012, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

When I started visiting my bf it was all new to me so I didn't know too much. I wore a top alittle too low n was warned to keep it up durning my visit. Ok cool,check! So I go in the visiting room and this one female CO,boy did she get upset! She kept coming over telling me pick it up! I didn't think it was "falling down" but again ok cool! That was a yr ago. I now have "visiting appropriate clothes". So this one CO doesn't work the VR very often but when she does.....something is always going wrong with OUR visit! My top is always sliding down! Umm, well I wear a tank under ALL my shirts to avoid showing my girls,u cant even see the crease but yet its still too low! Plus, the COs at check in who shake me down let me in....so apparently they feel what I'm wearing is deemed ok. Once, she said if u cant keep it up then ur gonna have to leave! WTF,how much higher do u want it?! And another time,my man was rubbing my arm n she said we were touching inappropriately n needed to stop that we were only allowed to hold hands....he was rubbing my forearm by my wrist! Nvr had we had a problem b4 with any other CO but this one......ugh! Always all eyes on us! U know when u can feel someone staring at u! Thank goodness shes hardly there! We're just trying to enjoy our visit,our date and she just HAS to remind us where we are by ALWAYS having something to say! SN: she NVR once has a . Always mean mugging! Poor lady-she must need a hug!

Anyways,just ranting!

that is so dumd i think woman Co's get jealous. i dont see the point like u said if we clear the front check in then why a problem. iv had my shares of woman Co's trying too hard and looking too hard , then especially the ones that dont do the visiting room they try too be tuff .. but yes dont let it get to u. my opinion is that woman co's shudnt be working in a man prison

Strong4us · #7 05-08-2012, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MONette

Oh boy. Thank you for the warning

I'm reading a book called "Concurrent Sentences" True story. And yep, even though they were married....still had to be careful and not much privacy.
I'll be going on my first visit to a friend, in August. phew!
No tank tops. Gotcha. I assume no shorts or sundresses. Capri's okay? How about sleeveless tops??? Or do I need to wear a turtle neck. (sorry, me being snarky, sigh)
MONette

Yay on ur visit! No,I wear a tank UNDER my shirts just incase they are low,I have big breast. Shorts,skirts,dresses (at my mans place) cant be higher than 2 inches...yes they bust out a ruler! Shirts cant show ur bra straps as far as sleeveless. Some joints u cant have ripped jeans even if its the smallest rip or doesn't show skin underneath.

mrs.beautifly1 · #8 05-08-2012, 11:41 AM

lol yes i had this one guys seach me with the hand metal detector and asked me to left up by blouse to see my pack pockets ummm excuse me sir .. lol

Strong4us · #9 05-08-2012, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs.beautifly1

lol yes i had this one guys seach me with the hand metal detector and asked me to left up by blouse to see my pack pockets ummm excuse me sir .. lol

What we do for our men! Although they get strip searched so what they do for us!

Princess1029 · #10 05-08-2012, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

What we do for our men! Although they get strip searched so what they do for us!

One say my husband said your hands are cold. I was like yeah no big deal I just stood in negative temps for an hour no worries geez

Strong4us · #11 05-08-2012, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

One say my husband said your hands are cold. I was like yeah no big deal I just stood in negative temps for an hour no worries geez

Shoot,my man was on a writ for court n was locked down 24-7.....I would drive 2hrs....wait 2hrs to be checked in.....an hr in the VR.....all for an hr visit.....then drove 2hrs home! Did it 4 times :/ !!! That was the worst but I don't regret it. He has done so much for me on the outside plus the place he was at the mail was 3-4 weeks behind and he only would get a 10minute fone call once a week.

Strong4us · #12 05-08-2012, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

Shoot,my man was on a writ for court n was locked down 24-7.....I would drive 2hrs....wait 2hrs to be checked in.....an hr in the VR.....all for an hr visit.....then drove 2hrs home! Did it 4 times :/ !!! That was the worst but I don't regret it. He has done so much for me on the outside plus the place he was at the mail was 3-4 weeks behind and he only would get a 10minute fone call once a week.

Ok nvr mind it was about an hr n a 1/2 each way (max) I got ahead of my self!

Princess1029 · #13 05-08-2012, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strong4us

Ok nvr mind it was about an hr n a 1/2 each way (max) I got ahead of my self!

Dang. Yea in county it was 45- hour away & I got 30 min glass visits but I figured out of I did late visit I got extra time

Bigbirdsgirl83 · #14 05-08-2012, 01:18 PM

I've had the vr cos complain about my tattoos and once a shirt when the gate cos had no problem had to keep my jacket on when they had the heat on hell!

jec1955 · #15 05-08-2012, 01:24 PM

I am 57, I visited my sone once, wore a nice shirt that had cut out across shoulders but had crocheted deco filling it, no bra straps showing. They werent gonna let me in at 1st, I told them i had worn it b4 so they let me in. I can understand the dress code because all see you and it can cause problems for your loved one if another inmate sees you and says things to him. Will usually cause a fight. They just have this dress code to at least have 1 less thing to bother inmates. but geesh im an old lady lol

**Patty** · #16 05-08-2012, 01:27 PM

For all those joining this discussion please take a moment to consider that your post is in keeping with the following PTO policy:

• Police / Guard / Correction Officer Bashing:
While we encourage full disclosure, investigation and the sharing of relevant information relating to abuses by Institutional staff (management, guards, jailers, CO’s,etc), blatant and unprovoked bashing of these people is not allowed. Please refrain from derogatory name calling as well. Further, it is a violation of PTO membership to go to any forum or site (ETC) where Correctional Officers are known to congregate and incite problems that may follow you back to the PTO website. If it is found that any member of PTO has gone to another website and created a problem, that then follows them back to our community, that member will be banned immediately.

Klewis · #17 05-08-2012, 02:00 PM

I come to learn some people in general will always feel the need to abuse their power. Some people probably would not know what to do with themselves if they didn't have some kind of power. I just feel when I go visit my Fiance' there is more cool COs then the one who has a issue. I don't take it personal because thats what she wants me to do. I am only there 4 hours for 2 days as long as my visit does not get ended I am straight. I can see why you would be frustrated though because my daughter is 16 and every time we go she gets away with wearing sandals. When I wear sandals I am told I have to wear stockings. I really don't think there is much difference between a 16 year old's foot and a grown woman's foot.

Princess1029 · #18 05-08-2012, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klewis

I come to learn some people in general will always feel the need to abuse their power. Some people probably would not know what to do with themselves if they didn't have some kind of power. I just feel when I go visit my Fiance' there is more cool COs then the one who has a issue. I don't take it personal because thats what she wants me to do. I am only there 4 hours for 2 days as long as my visit does not get ended I am straight. I can see why you would be frustrated though because my daughter is 16 and every time we go she gets away with wearing sandals. When I wear sandals I am told I have to wear stockings. I really don't think there is much difference between a 16 year old's foot and a grown woman's foot.

I've never really figured out why we can't wear any Sandals.. Of course last time every girl did. My husband said see you can, I was like please the day I wear them they will make me change shoes! That's my kind of luck ha!

countryzgirl · #19 05-08-2012, 02:40 PM

Hey everyone -
I suggest you check your regional forums for info about meeting the dress codes of the prison/CDC you visit. http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=32
You can also call the prison before the visit and ask them what is/isn't allowed to wear.

My man has transferred a few times and each place I visited was slightly different regarding how strict they were but the general guidelines were essentially the same. It took me a while to get the hang of it. I'm in CA -I stick with all black, long yoga pants (NOT leggings. Those are a no-no), a long sleeved black t-shirt black ballet flats and of course, the no metal-underwire bra. Works for me...

I prefer to go along to get along. If the COs are strict why not just make sure you stay within the lines and enjoy your visit without worry? Don't buy trouble, Ladies. xo

Beachhouse · #20 05-08-2012, 02:51 PM

I'm afraid of those type of co's. they refer to me by my guys last name and that's too much knowledge of me. Eak!

**Patty** · #21 05-08-2012, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachhouse

I'm afraid of those type of co's. they refer to me by my guys last name and that's too much knowledge of me. Eak!

They associate you with the inmate because they know who you are visiting. That's how they deal, I wouldn't be concerned on that front.

Beachhouse · #22 05-08-2012, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patty

They associate you with the inmate because they know who you are visiting. That's how they deal, I wouldn't be concerned on that front.

Okay I won't but I did worry any extra notice isn't too good.

Princess1029 · #23 05-08-2012, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachhouse

I'm afraid of those type of co's. they refer to me by my guys last name and that's too much knowledge of me. Eak!

I've had that happen I was like whoa lol! Don't worry I honestly don't usually have many issues with COs with all the stories it freaked me out too! Most of the ones I've ran into with the exception of two were fine! & those to we're just super strict :-/

Beachhouse · #24 05-08-2012, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

I've had that happen I was like whoa lol! Don't worry I honestly don't usually have many issues with COs with all the stories it freaked me out too! Most of the ones I've ran into with the exception of two were fine! & those to we're just super strict :-/

Most are nice and the ones I see all the time know me and are friendly and polite and even joke. We had one horrible one but he's gone.

Princess1029 · #25 05-08-2012, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachhouse

Most are nice and the ones I see all the time know me and are friendly and polite and even joke. We had one horrible one but he's gone.

I wish they were all that nice, I've ran into a few like that. I have a couple favorites at the prison he's at now..but of course with the rotation they do they are never in there the next time I go.. figures.. The ones in county knew me since I went every weekend, they weren't bad at all, they were always joking with us. It makes things so much easier when they aren't so up tight & mean..