What would you do if your MWI wanted to see your Facebook page?

[shibbz]

I just received a sweet letter from my hun yesterday: not in a relationship (on our way), but it was stating that he acknowledges we have an emotional attachment and would be devastated if I couldn't visit. It was a sweet letter. At the end though, he dated it the following day he said he was rethinking sending it but did it anyway (because he doesn't want it to change how I act with him).

ANYWAY Right after that he asked to see my facebook page. He has never been on a social networking site, not even myspace back in the day but quoted from his letter..

"from my understanding your profile is a reflection of yourself. It's got your likes such as music, photos, art, and design, all which say something about yourself. That's how I interpret it anyway. I just thought it would be a nice way to learn more about who this mysterious girl is that I've been writing."

One. Not sure how to take it. I've been writing to him for quite a while, he probably knows me better than anyone else, and I've sent him all of my facebook pictures.. so why does he need my profile too?
Two. I'm wondering if he's just being nosy about how I socially interact with others. (Guys lol). We're not in a relationship so even if I was flirting with guys on my page it wouldn't be a big deal.
Three. I made my facebook recently.. in April. I have 27 friends. Almost nothing. I don't think it's even worth sending.
Four. I'm going to do it anyway, because I have nothing to hide.. but I'm wondering if this is a potential red flag? I mean he's not mean about it, but he sure knows a lot about providing he's never been around one. Now I'm thinking other guys might have said look at her facebook page to see if she's up to anything.. you know?

Comments would be nice, my decisions already been made. And I kinda want to know is it something you'd do?

[delia-duck]

I just think he wants to just know more about you. He may also just like to see what the Facebook looks like. Alot of them know alot about fb but have just not seen it for themselves. Many have a profile run profile U family and friends just to keep them in touch with the outside world.

[shibbz]

Originally Posted by delia-duck

I just think he wants to just know more about you. He may also just like to see what the Facebook looks like. Alot of them know alot about fb but have just not seen it for themselves. Many have a profile run profile U family and friends just to keep them in touch with the outside world.

I forgot to mention that option too.. but mine is so bare! He wouldn't learn a whole lot, just seeing my statuses and who I interact with you know?

[HesMyForever]

I would do it in a heartbeat. He has seen my fb before, so I'd have no issue with it at all.

[photoholic808]

Originally Posted by HesMyForever

I would do it in a heartbeat. He has seen my fb before, so I'd have no issue with it at all.

I just noticed you have 1 day til you see your Love congrats I am so happy for you ;-)

[Loubabygirl]

I would send it. Especially since there is nothing to hide. I don't think it's a big deal at all. My love told me he was going to have his cousin look at mine LOL I told him go right ahead. I even have pictures of me with exes and would show him everything. If he starts getting obsessive then I'd think of it as a red flag but i don't think it is by him just asking

[Miss_A]

Sounds to me like he just wants to get to know you better.

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by shibbz

I just received a sweet letter from my hun yesterday: not in a relationship (on our way), but it was stating that he acknowledges we have an emotional attachment and would be devastated if I couldn't visit. It was a sweet letter. At the end though, he dated it the following day he said he was rethinking sending it but did it anyway (because he doesn't want it to change how I act with him).

ANYWAY Right after that he asked to see my facebook page. He has never been on a social networking site, not even myspace back in the day but quoted from his letter..

"from my understanding your profile is a reflection of yourself. It's got your likes such as music, photos, art, and design, all which say something about yourself. That's how I interpret it anyway. I just thought it would be a nice way to learn more about who this mysterious girl is that I've been writing."

One. Not sure how to take it. I've been writing to him for quite a while, he probably knows me better than anyone else, and I've sent him all of my facebook pictures.. so why does he need my profile too?
Two. I'm wondering if he's just being nosy about how I socially interact with others. (Guys lol). We're not in a relationship so even if I was flirting with guys on my page it wouldn't be a big deal.
Three. I made my facebook recently.. in April. I have 27 friends. Almost nothing. I don't think it's even worth sending.
Four. I'm going to do it anyway, because I have nothing to hide.. but I'm wondering if this is a potential red flag? I mean he's not mean about it, but he sure knows a lot about providing he's never been around one. Now I'm thinking other guys might have said look at her facebook page to see if she's up to anything.. you know?

Comments would be nice, my decisions already been made. And I kinda want to know is it something you'd do?

If you say he probably knows you better than anyone else, that to me, means he does not fully trust you, if he is asking to see your FB profile.

I would NOT send my fiance my profile (of course he already knows whats on it), because I believe it borders on him having contol and trust issues.

What is he going to want from you next? Like you said, you have made up your mind, you are going to send it to him, so good luck with that.

Peace~

[shibbz]

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

If you say he probably knows you better than anyone else, that to me, means he does not fully trust you, if he is asking to see your FB profile.

I would NOT send my fiance my profile (of course he already knows whats on it), because I believe it borders on him having contol and trust issues.

What is he going to want from you next? Like you said, you have made up your mind, you are going to send it to him, so good luck with that.

Peace~

But I think he's asking more out of curiosity if anything, and to see how I interact with others. Technically we are not together, so if any demands come of this, I will take THAT as a red flag. I guess it's just how he reacts to seeing it that will determine if he has the control and trust issues. I really don't think he has, I write to 8 other inmates and he knows that, if he had trust/control issues he would have told me to stop writing them by now.

[marissaa]

I think he just probably wants to learn more about and yes possibly to see how you interact with your family & friends..but I wouldn't take that as a bad thing or "red flag".. I'd show my babe if he asked to see mine (:

[queenlynch]

I think you should relax a bit. We are talking about Facebook for crying out loud, a public forum. You said you hardly have anything on there and have it set so only certain things can be seen by public, so hide the things you don't want just anyone to see before you print it. If he were on the outside he would be able to look you up anyway.
My husband has never even used a computer and he asks about FB all the time. Even though he has been in prison for a long time he is around those who haven't and they talk about stuff. Facebook may not be as big a thing in there because of logistics, but it is still around. You friend describes facebook pretty well actually - it is a place where you post the things you like and are interested in, social network (as you put it). I see nothing fishy in him wanting to do what he could do if he were on the outside.
Now, if he starts saying things like he needs to see everything you post, or doesn't want you to post certain things, I would start to worry.

Just curious (because some of what you said made me think), do you really feel there is nothing on there to have to hide from him?

[shibbz]

Originally Posted by queenlynch

Just curious (because some of what you said made me think), do you really feel there is nothing on there to have to hide from him?

Yes. Not one thing I would hide. Actually one, but only because I have to. I posted a picture of this grown women in her bed, naked, walls COVERED in Justin Bieber photos and herself doing bad things with a blow up doll with a picture of Justin Biebers face on it.. with the caption saying "HOW IS THIS EVEN A PICTURE." (A friend of mine posted this on her FB and I was shocked haha)

Although I covered up the photo I explained what was in it.. so TECHNICALLY nothing. hahaha.

[DP's Girl]

I don't know maybe I'm just cynical but it would bother me. I don't have anything to hide but I'm always concerned with these kinds of requests. Too often a nicely worded request is followed by pointed questions, followed by demands. Eventually someone is monitoring and/or controlling everything you do and everyone you communicate with. I'm not doing anything but no one checks my fb, my phone, my email, or even my snail mail. Maybe I'm reading too much into it and the poor guy just wants to see what fb is all about but it wouldn't work for me. I know you've made your decision so I hope it all works out for the two of you.

[~Christina~]

i got nothing to hide,so i send him mine when he asks. oh and he has not made any type of demands on me

[lil peep]

My love has never really been on the internet, but we talk about facebook and pto a lot. If he wanted me to send him a picture of it to show him what it looks like or so he could see my page, it wouldn't bother me. There's nothing on it that I'd be nervous for him to see. I also don't see it as him not trusting me. I think for the guys who have been down a while it's more curiosity then anything.

[shaunna]

I really wonder how many relationships would still be around these days if it wasn't for facebook! Don't get me wrong I use facebook regularly but it definately has caused a lot of uneccessary drama for people... the amount of threads on this forum in relationship to facebook problems is endless

I would show my man heck I'd even give him my password (not that he's ever asked for it) because we trust eachother and have nothing to hide

[shibbz]

Originally Posted by shaunna

I really wonder how many relationships would still be around these days if it wasn't for facebook! Don't get me wrong I use facebook regularly but it definately has caused a lot of uneccessary drama for people... the amount of threads on this forum in relationship to facebook problems is endless

I would show my man heck I'd even give him my password (not that he's ever asked for it) because we trust eachother and have nothing to hide

I agree! It's just facebook is part of our lives.. technically it's our own personal webpage and it's almost like owning a cell phone or having an email address.. it's just part of life! I'm definitely not starting drama over this lol not at all! I'm just curious as to know what others would do? I know I was over thinking it in my first post, I still have no problem showing him- it's just like I said in my last post, it's what he DOES with this information that's gonna cause drama or not but I have no doubt that anything will come from this- he's just being curious as always. I'm more slightly upset/mad (but not really) at the fact he called me mysterious! REALLY? We've been talking forever, he must think because of my age I'm obsessed with it and pour my heart and soul into a stupid webpage.. well, not all young people are so he should be checking his sources! (although his source is kinda right, it just doesn't apply to me!)

[csgirlalways]

I wouldn't have a problem sending it to him. Don't have anything to hide.

[Temeron0926]

I have 175 friends on my FB page, most of them are relatives and friends from high school. I wouldn't hesitate to send my page to my love if he wanted it. I don't really post anything personal on it tho. I use it to express myself in photos, quotes, pictures. I have no problem with sending it to him.

[ilovecoffee]

I have facebook but i dont like it and never go on it.I have printed out his sons fb page, he has never seen it before. He joked one time what is my relationship status on fb, and I said i didnt have one (at that time)and he said i should change it to stuck LOL. I doubt he would ask me for it. No point really to me or him imo

[pss12]

I would send it, even if it is rather bare. I would just explain that I didn't get on it much.
I send my man a copy of his wall since I post things on my and tag him on it. I have recently thought of printing out mine say once a month so he knows how much I think of him since I don't always tag him.

[pisces_in_soCal]

I don't mind him seeing my page but the question is can he handle it....I don't know if he'll like the idea of me having male friends all of which are coworkers.

[MaggieMMay]

Is it really any different than someone sending you a friend request out here? Once you accept, they can see your profile (as much as you allow "friends" to see anyway). Would you refuse his friend request?

[mrs.beautifly1]

i had no problem with sharing my info with my man when he asked me . we met online so therefore he was my friend at first then wen we became OFFICIAL he gave me the info for his profile n i gave him mine ....

[tasha005]

He has my login info on his ipad saved, I have his as well. We met online after he was paroled. He us constantly asking me to fix his Facebook. As someone else said, if you were friends on Facebook, he would see it anyway.