Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Scotties_Girl21 · #1 05-12-2012, 08:36 AM

So me and my bf had the "if the shoe were on the other foot" convo this morning and I said I think if I were in prison and it was turned around you would write me and everything but you would probly be out having sex with girls and he got really mad! Like really mad! He was like how could you say that? No I wouldn't? And I explained the reason I thought that was because I felt men don't attatch a lot of emotion to sex and it would be easier for him to cheat. Well he didn't like that. Then he said "that makes me feel like if you think I'd do that then you would be out doing the same thing" totally turned it around on me! Ugh, it made our convo end on a kinda bad note but at the end he said I love you and I trust you until you give me a reason not to. So I kinda feel better about it. But I almost wish I woulda kept my big mouth shut all together.

tripsgirl · #2 05-12-2012, 08:42 AM

We've had that same convo, kinda. He got mad too.
He said he'd be here for me & I believe him - but I, too, don't think he'd bust his ass as hard as I have.

Once we were talking about money and I told him I have a lot of bills I gotta pay on my own & he said "you don't think if I was home I wouldn't be paying them for you?" & I was like "honestly, no." & he was furious! lol. I guess it's a good thing they get upset?

countryzgirl · #3 05-12-2012, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tripsgirl

We've had that same convo, kinda. He got mad too.
He said he'd be here for me & I believe him - but I, too, don't think he'd bust his ass as hard as I have.

Once we were talking about money and I told him I have a lot of bills I gotta pay on my own & he said "you don't think if I was home I wouldn't be paying them for you?" & I was like "honestly, no." & he was furious! lol. I guess it's a good thing they get upset?

LOL! Tell it, Girl!

tripsgirl · #4 05-12-2012, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by countryzgirl

LOL! Tell it, Girl!

lol. Sometimes I feel like i'm being a little harsh but I've always been the type who doesn't hold back my feelings & what I wanna say! I guess he will get used to it - he's the same way!

countryzgirl · #5 05-12-2012, 08:44 AM

Silly boy. That's something I've never asked my man. To me it's the prison version of "Do I look fat?" It's one of those no-win questions that leads to mess.

prettywings773 · #6 05-12-2012, 08:45 AM

well to be honest i would think the same about my bf but I would never tell him that because men are sensetive.

Zuweee · #7 05-12-2012, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettywings773

well to be honest i would think the same about my bf but I would never tell him that because men are sensetive.

Haha they can definitely be sensitive about certain topics that we don't think are controversial at all!

Scotties_Girl21 · #8 05-12-2012, 08:47 AM

Yea lol it kinda blew up in my face. But I mean I don't regret it, that was my opinion and I'm sorry if he doesn't like it. I can understand him not liking it but I think I'm entitled to say how I feel I just wish he wouldn't have turned it around on me like that lol. He will be okay, it will give him something to think about until our next call.

Scotties_Girl21 · #9 05-12-2012, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tripsgirl

lol. Sometimes I feel like i'm being a little harsh but I've always been the type who doesn't hold back my feelings & what I wanna say! I guess he will get used to it - he's the same way!

There's nothing wrong with that. They want honesty we give them honesty lol. It is wat it is.

taraadele18 · #10 05-12-2012, 09:03 AM

We've never really gotten on that subject before, he's brought it up and said no doubt he'd wait and be faithful. But I didn't question anything about it. I tend to not bring up certain subjects cause I don't want him to get his panties in a wad lol. I watch what I say, I think before I speak and I've gotten great at it. Thank goodness lol. But if he asks anything I'm 137% honest!!!

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**OffenderNoMore** · #11 05-12-2012, 09:10 AM

Lee and I never had to have that conversation but then again, we are a little different from most. When his stupid butt was locked up and I was not, I was paying the bills both at home and for his store. Then again, when my rear end was "on vacation" he did the same thing...lol. Although, I do have to agree that conversation is definitely the jail version of "Do I look fat?" which by the way I won't even ask now just due to the fact that he will not lie to me. He'll tell me if something looks bad but other than that I get the standard answer of "You are a fine looking healthy woman."

Lol

DP's Girl · #12 05-12-2012, 09:42 AM

Well I asked Dee and he said he would hold me down just like I hold him down. I told him he was a damn lie. I know without any doubt I would have money on my books and packages. But I believe he would be having sex with someone. He didn't like it and said I was wrong but he didn't get mad and he certainly didn't accuse me of anything. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure he'll get over it and realize it was just a hypothetical. You just never know what will set them off.

Klewis · #13 05-12-2012, 10:56 AM

My Fiance' and I spoke about this and he swear he would hold me down and I told him yeah I know you would but I don't think you would be faithful to me. We did not argue about it because we don't argue about something that hopefully can never be proved. I think if my man would have gotten upset over the conversation apart of me would have felt like he knew I was right. Sometimes men think getting angry or raising their voice makes them right, when all it does it just make them a loud angry wrong.

GuerosMama · #14 05-12-2012, 11:39 AM

I honestly, don't see the point in asking him that, because thats not where we are in our life right now, and (I hope), well i'm pretty sure that we won't be in that situation. I don't like talking about hypotheticals because it just leads to hurt feelings. Id rather talk about real things, what we have planned, what our goals are, how we're feeling NOW.

BROOKLYNSWIFE21 · #15 05-12-2012, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuerosMama

I honestly, don't see the point in asking him that, because thats not where we are in our life right now, and (I hope), well i'm pretty sure that we won't be in that situation. I don't like talking about hypotheticals because it just leads to hurt feelings. Id rather talk about real things, what we have planned, what our goals are, how we're feeling NOW.

COMPLETELY agree with you! I learned a long time ago to not play the hypothetical game, why argue about something that more than likely will NEVER happen.

Scotties_Girl21 · #16 05-12-2012, 12:14 PM

I like asking him things like that and getting his reaction, it gives me a better perspective I think. He didn't yell at me or anything I woulda hung up in his face. I think he was more hurt than anything and that's the only reason I kinda wish I hadn't brought it up. It was a hypothetical question tho and I was honest about what I thought. He asks me questions all the time and I don't get angry, I think he needs to put his big boy pants on and suck it up I mean geez its just a question. Never say never but its most likley never going to come to that anyway.

InLoveWithaG · #17 05-12-2012, 03:22 PM

Haha Ive said that too, and my bf got mad...he promised hed go to every court date, put money on my phone, and money on my account for munchies. Good thing I dont ever plan on testing him lol, Im a good girl when it comes to the legal system!

**shaunna** · #18 05-12-2012, 03:49 PM

I'm sorry but I can completey understand where your boyfriend is coming from and I agree with what he is saying. But like others have said, I dont understand why people ask/say things in a hypothetical situation that is just going to hurt the other person? Kind of like that thread about would you leave if ur partner slept with a CO (no offence to the poster of that thread intended) Life is chaotic enough without people adding drama into it

Scotties_Girl21 · #19 05-12-2012, 03:58 PM

I feel like it was just a question and if he wouldn't do that why get so defensive and mad? I was just asking it for the hell of it I wasn't hoping to get some perspective changing answer and he took it all personal. But however when he has a question or something he wants to say its all fine and dandy. My intentions weren't to hurt him and he knows that. It was just a hypothetical question.

princess99 · #20 05-12-2012, 05:24 PM

ive asked to..just happened..and he swears he would do even more (sure lol) i dont think they realize how hard it is, i would love to believe he would be 100% faithful buti dunno if he could go over a year without sex..i duno but who cares im never going to jail lol

**shaunna** · #21 05-12-2012, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scotties_Girl21

I feel like it was just a question and if he wouldn't do that why get so defensive and mad? I was just asking it for the hell of it I wasn't hoping to get some perspective changing answer and he took it all personal. But however when he has a question or something he wants to say its all fine and dandy. My intentions weren't to hurt him and he knows that. It was just a hypothetical question.

I just don't understand what you were hoping to achieve exactly by asking a question along those lines? You have to realise if you worded it how you worded it on this post it's understandable he took it personal. If you know him well enough to know he gets I dont know 'sensitive' about things like that, probably best you avoid these hypothetical situations as it's not achieving anything and definately isnt helping the relationship

Scotties_Girl21 · #22 05-12-2012, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaunna

I just don't understand what you were hoping to achieve exactly by asking a question along those lines? You have to realise if you worded it how you worded it on this post it's understandable he took it personal. If you know him well enough to know he gets I dont know 'sensitive' about things like that, probably best you avoid these hypothetical situations as it's not achieving anything and definately isnt helping the relationship

I was just curious to see what he would say I mean he's a big boy he's not gna ball up and cry over a hypothetical question lol. I talked to him after that today and he didn't even mention it, it wasn't a big deal. like I said he asks me questions and I don't get all emotional about it. But I see what your saying but I don't agree its damaging to my relationship to be curious.

Scotties_Girl21 · #23 05-12-2012, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princess99

ive asked to..just happened..and he swears he would do even more (sure lol) i dont think they realize how hard it is, i would love to believe he would be 100% faithful buti dunno if he could go over a year without sex..i duno but who cares im never going to jail lol

That's what I'm saying lol its never going to happen because I don't put myself in situations like that.

**shaunna** · #24 05-12-2012, 05:48 PM

I never said it was demaging your relationship to be curious, but I don't see how anyone could see saying "you would write me and everything but you would probly be out having sex with girls " is curious or helpful?

That's all I'm going to say on the subject as I'm not trying to cause an argument or anything but I don't blame him for reacting the way he did (maybe not necessarily get angry but it's definately not something nice to say to someone)

Scotties_Girl21 · #25 05-12-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaunna

I never said it was demaging your relationship to be curious, but I don't see how anyone could see saying "you would write me and everything but you would probly be out having sex with girls " is curious or helpful?

That's all I'm going to say on the subject as I'm not trying to cause an argument or anything but I don't blame him for reacting the way he did (maybe not necessarily get angry but it's definately not something nice to say to someone)

I respect your opinion but him nor I took it that seriously so I'm not worried about it. He answered my question then called back and we had an awesome convo and it was over. Neither one of us took it to heart. Whenever he has a question about staying faithful he never hesitates to ask and neither do I. Were not the type of couple that reads too much into things like that.