I feel spiritually dead

[Sad_Eyes]

I have never posted in this forum, mostly because I don't even know what to say about my spirituality and faith these days...or lack there of. All I can say is that I feel spiritually dead. I felt this way somewhat before I met my boyfriend and before his incarceration, but it seems to have worsened since then. I want to pray, but my mind is blank or wanders and I don't feel anything, any emotion, etc... I think back on how my faith was very strong in high school and college, and then I just started feeling different. I am of the Catholic faith and cherish the practices and attending Mass, the Rosary, etc...but I have done very few of those things in a very long time. Something holds me back, I think because I feel so void of emotion. Spirituality to me is not all about evoking emotion, but it would be nice in my opinion if I felt SOMETHING! Anything! Maybe I feel some religious guilt about the turn my life has taken this past year. Idk. I feel a lot of my morals waxing and waning, and even shifting to new perspectives that I do not exactly like. Last year I left a "relationship" of sorts that left me feeling so dead inside, as if this man, that lifestyle, had stolen my soul. Dramatic sounding I know, but that is the only image that comes to my mind. Anyway, I guess I just needed to say all of this. I want to feel faith and hope in God and in my life. I want and need my spirituality as a backbone to make it through this experience, because I am not enough. Has anyone felt like this? How did you change things? I want more than anything to be able to sit down and concentrate on even just a small prayer asking to keep my bf safe. Ok I will stop babbling! Thanks for reading.

[WJD]

Are you still reading the bible? What about attending church regularly? Connecting with people from church like in a small group?
Seek God MORE and your troubles less and the rest shall fall into place!
Hang in there honey and God WILL bless you

[Tela]

Awwwwe...its okAY!! I've experienced that "disconnect" before and God lead me to exactly who HE intended for me to cross paths with to FIND my way back home..i wud suggest u just go into ur prayer closet..get QUIET and listen
to GOD speak to ur heart...he IS there ...he's just waiting for you to call upon him..it may "seem" bleak but that just the devil tryna trip u up!! Stay In prayer b/c IT WILL BE ALL OVER IN THE MORNING.

[loveloyality]

Keep reaching for God. He is there with you. Say small things out loud. Lord help me. He hears you. Trust me you will connect again.

[LeBeau]

My best advice is to get out of your head for a while- stop thinking about this for a bit- Volunteer (even if it's only for a couple of hours a month), take a class in something "hands on" like pottery, get involved with a community garden, go dancing, go for a walk in a pretty, wooded area... do things that add value and beauty to your life and to the world around you.
God is patient, He'll still be there when you're ready to resume directly spiritual practices.
(and, by the way, if there were anything wrong with your soul, you would not be concerned about it- THAT'S what it means to be spiritually bankrupt. You're fine, just a bit at sea for the moment.)

[Sad_Eyes]

Thank you all for the support and wise words. I think often about going back to church. For some reason I have not acted on that thought in a really long time. I love going to Mass, but the last few times I have gone I have broken down and am crying in front of people in a pew by myself. I have not read my Bible in a long time as well. I long for God, but sometimes I feel distant because I feel so burdened by the past and my mistakes. I know God forgives, I know this, but I can't forgive myself at this point, even for things that were supposedly deemed not my fault. Sometimes it helps to recite some well know prayers such as the Hail Mary or the Lord's Prayer. I just want to feel peace. I want to stop ruminating over the past, and I want to feel like I can make it through difficult times without it leaving emotional scars. I went from having many possibilities and successes to having absolutely no direction in my life. I am told I have been very resilient my whole life, but all I feel is a heavy burden. I do enjoy nature and doing things that get me outside of myself. Motivation is my big issue there. I know I am depressed, that is not new to me, but it seems to go a little deeper this time.

[dixiebelle1973]

sweetie..your post was a prayer in it's own. You don't have to assume a certain posture or attitude to pray. God can read your mind understand words you can't utter. hang in there. He's not sitting up there waiting to zap you so to speak for not follow a certain taught order. You beleive in Him that's all He asks. Your human and it's ok to have ups and downs. Every relationship has them! I've been there. I was raised ultra conservitive. It took me a while to understand MY FAITH and HOW I understood my faith. Being active is also very good. Find something positive to do is a good thing. God is everywhere and if your doing positive things you are "serving" Him and helping you while you help others. I've found solice in that too. God is NOT confined to a building. Leave your mind open he will direct you as you need it, and are ready. I'm soo sorry you are feeling so down. I have been lately myself too.

[Rmoralez]

This might seem mean to others but here it goes;

You already know what the problem is, and it's depression. What you need to do is stop the self pity and accept God's forgiveness and forgive yourself. You are being your own downfall here as far as your "spiritual life" goes. God is in control of everything and everything he does for those who believe in him will work out for good. The enemy of our souls is the one who you allowed to come into your life by letting all this sadness build up. The Bible says "resist the devil and he will flee" so accept God's forgiveness, forgive yourself and get back on track get rid of that spirit of depression in Jesus' name! Rebuke it and you will see a quick change in the way you can pray more freely. Then when you start feeling that depression come back resist the devil!!!!

[Sad_Eyes]

Originally Posted by Rmoralez

This might seem mean to others but here it goes;

You already know what the problem is, and it's depression. What you need to do is stop the self pity and accept God's forgiveness and forgive yourself. You are being your own downfall here as far as your "spiritual life" goes. God is in control of everything and everything he does for those who believe in him will work out for good. The enemy of our souls is the one who you allowed to come into your life by letting all this sadness build up. The Bible says "resist the devil and he will flee" so accept God's forgiveness, forgive yourself and get back on track get rid of that spirit of depression in Jesus' name! Rebuke it and you will see a quick change in the way you can pray more freely. Then when you start feeling that depression come back resist the devil!!!!

Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated. I don't think the situation is all about depression, although yes it plays a part in it. I think a major issue is that my sense of morality has become skewed and jumbled up and I don't know how I fit into the scheme of my spiritual life at this moment. I feel disconnected from God. I completely agree with the fact that I need to accept God's forgiveness and forgive myself. Some things are more difficult to forgive yourself for, even when it seems completely rational to most.

[msgreenthumb67]

You know...prayer is really nothing more than talking to God same as you do people. Just go somewhere quiet...maybe just the kitchen table when everyone is asleep and just start talking. He is with you everywhere. He has promised NEVER to leave you, nor forsake you! And you know, He takes no offense if you yell or even curse, cry...He understands us even when we don't know how or what to say. He meets us where we are. You don't expect your toddler to know what or how to say what they need everytime so you are ATTENTIVE and understanding, right? Well we are God's children. Truly....we may think of ourselves as grown but in sooooo many ways we are still children. So stop pressuring yourself. God dies not expect perfection, He expects you to DESIRE Him!! So tell Him how much you miss Him and want Him but don't know what is holding you back. Ask for the help only He can give. You will get your answer....wait patiently for Him. The answer is already on the way...you will have your breakthrough! And God is not about religious rituals etc....it's relationship He seeks, not our form and fashion, garments and rituals. Our attention, our love....He has done ALL just to win your love. He IS pursuing you....

1 Corinthians 1:25-29

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by Sad_Eyes

I have never posted in this forum, mostly because I don't even know what to say about my spirituality and faith these days...or lack there of. All I can say is that I feel spiritually dead. I felt this way somewhat before I met my boyfriend and before his incarceration, but it seems to have worsened since then. I want to pray, but my mind is blank or wanders and I don't feel anything, any emotion, etc... I think back on how my faith was very strong in high school and college, and then I just started feeling different. I am of the Catholic faith and cherish the practices and attending Mass, the Rosary, etc...but I have done very few of those things in a very long time. Something holds me back, I think because I feel so void of emotion. Spirituality to me is not all about evoking emotion, but it would be nice in my opinion if I felt SOMETHING! Anything! Maybe I feel some religious guilt about the turn my life has taken this past year. Idk. I feel a lot of my morals waxing and waning, and even shifting to new perspectives that I do not exactly like. Last year I left a "relationship" of sorts that left me feeling so dead inside, as if this man, that lifestyle, had stolen my soul. Dramatic sounding I know, but that is the only image that comes to my mind. Anyway, I guess I just needed to say all of this. I want to feel faith and hope in God and in my life. I want and need my spirituality as a backbone to make it through this experience, because I am not enough. Has anyone felt like this? How did you change things? I want more than anything to be able to sit down and concentrate on even just a small prayer asking to keep my bf safe. Ok I will stop babbling! Thanks for reading.

Hun, have you tried meditation? It can help you quiet your mind and allow the emotions to flow. It is very simple to do, you simply find a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed and focus on your breathing, you might say something like relax when breathing in and out, or just count from one to ten and if you keep having thoughts pop in, go back to one.

Spirit is with you ALL the time! Maybe saying the serenity prayer will help you in deepening your quietness.

It is my belief that when we worry so much about having a connection to a power greater than ourselves, we are actually blocking it from entering our lives.

Really, try to meditate and don't be so hard on yourself.

Peace~

[jeanifer]

God is speaking to your heart in so many ways; he is just waiting for you to call His name "Jesus". That way you are opening the door for Him to begin working in your life. And, guess what? It is Satan who is keeping you from being able to feel anything, unable to pray, feel happy, joyous and free. Another way to look at all that has and is happening is that God is trying to get your attention by taking everything of value away from you that you value more than Him. He is a very jealous God, you are obviously His, He wants you back but you have to make the first move. In order to draw near to Him, you have to cleanse yourself of all your past sins because God can not be associated with sin. Just do this please, (I am talking from experience) get down on your knees, life your arms and face up to Heaven and cry out to Jesus (You've heard that song haven't you?) It's by Third Day, and first and foremost, thank, praise and worship Him for all the things He has already brought you through. Praise Him for dying for you, saving you, keeping you healthy, a good job, any of that wonderful stuff he has already done in your life. Sing to Him - even if it is only Jesus Loves Me - singing to Him is worship and He loves it! After thanking Him for everything you can think of He has done for you, your family, etc. then say, "Jesus, I know I have been separated from you through my sin and I am sorry, I now repent of all my sins and ask for you to come close to me now". Something like that, you know BUT, don't listen to the enemy tell you "don't you do it, it's silly, you will look/sound foolish, it won't work, etc. Please fight it through and contact your Precious Savior and start living for Him again right now. I am praying that you will not put it off another minute. Your sister In Christ, jeanifer

Originally Posted by Sad_Eyes

I have never posted in this forum, mostly because I don't even know what to say about my spirituality and faith these days...or lack there of. All I can say is that I feel spiritually dead. I felt this way somewhat before I met my boyfriend and before his incarceration, but it seems to have worsened since then. I want to pray, but my mind is blank or wanders and I don't feel anything, any emotion, etc... I think back on how my faith was very strong in high school and college, and then I just started feeling different. I am of the Catholic faith and cherish the practices and attending Mass, the Rosary, etc...but I have done very few of those things in a very long time. Something holds me back, I think because I feel so void of emotion. Spirituality to me is not all about evoking emotion, but it would be nice in my opinion if I felt SOMETHING! Anything! Maybe I feel some religious guilt about the turn my life has taken this past year. Idk. I feel a lot of my morals waxing and waning, and even shifting to new perspectives that I do not exactly like. Last year I left a "relationship" of sorts that left me feeling so dead inside, as if this man, that lifestyle, had stolen my soul. Dramatic sounding I know, but that is the only image that comes to my mind. Anyway, I guess I just needed to say all of this. I want to feel faith and hope in God and in my life. I want and need my spirituality as a backbone to make it through this experience, because I am not enough. Has anyone felt like this? How did you change things? I want more than anything to be able to sit down and concentrate on even just a small prayer asking to keep my bf safe. Ok I will stop babbling! Thanks for reading.