Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Mcox'sbabygirl · #1 06-09-2012, 02:02 PM

Omg I need to vent. My husband has been in & out of juvie, hwh, drug programs, Prison since the age of 12. He is now 30. He is on his last sentence & can be home in 3yrs. He is finally on his own signing up for programs, going to camp, etc. he had never done anything to better himself until now. He made a statement today that totally shocked me. I said i'm so proud of you. He replied thank u I've never been loved before your my angel and u know i'm going to be home forever. I was so happy & I explained that I love him unconditionally but i'm very happy that we can have a normal life. That's when he said I can't promise I'll never do drugs again, I have my whole life but im going to try really hard. I appreciate his honesty but at the same time it hurt me. I feel like after everything how can u not stay away from drugs. I mean i know he has every intention of staying clean but that just hurt to hear. Sorry just needed to bitch :-)

hiswife1014 · #2 06-09-2012, 05:50 PM

My fiance has said something along those lines...and it pisses me off too!!! I try to remember not to get mad over things i have no control over. What if he comes home and right away is around the wrong crowd? Or What if he comes home and never has ANY contact with it?? Only god knows so I will deal with it when we get there. For now i try hard to keep it in the back of my mind..

tripsgirl · #3 06-09-2012, 06:01 PM

It's very easy to relapse. Trust me, I've been there. He's just gotta change his people, places, and things when he gets home and he will be fine.
My fiancee is a recovering addict too and sometimes I worry about whats gonna happen when he comes home - just gotta have faith.

InmateLover67 · #4 06-09-2012, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mcox'sbabygirl

Omg I need to vent. My husband has been in & out of juvie, hwh, drug programs, Prison since the age of 12. He is now 30. He is on his last sentence & can be home in 3yrs. He is finally on his own signing up for programs, going to camp, etc. he had never done anything to better himself until now. He made a statement today that totally shocked me. I said i'm so proud of you. He replied thank u I've never been loved before your my angel and u know i'm going to be home forever. I was so happy & I explained that I love him unconditionally but i'm very happy that we can have a normal life. That's when he said I can't promise I'll never do drugs again, I have my whole life but im going to try really hard. I appreciate his honesty but at the same time it hurt me. I feel like after everything how can u not stay away from drugs. I mean i know he has every intention of staying clean but that just hurt to hear. Sorry just needed to bitch :-)

Hopefully, learning all that he is learning, he will take it and put it to use in his personal life, when he gets out.

Hun, once an addict always an addict....they can NEVER say they will not use again....they would be lying if they told us that.

Just keep loving him like you are, and try to trust that he will make wise choices when he has freedom. Only he can control that..

It's good to have a place to come and bitch....glad you could get it out.

Peace~

Mcox'sbabygirl · #5 06-09-2012, 06:38 PM

It is very easy to relapse. I have a back problem which led to the pills so I know. we have a home in CT. & he is from Reno so he will be far away from the people & places. It just upset me cuz he has done over a decade in Prison & stayed clean. But ur both right it may never happen. Thanks ladies!!

InmateLover67 · #6 06-09-2012, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mcox'sbabygirl

It is very easy to relapse. I have a back problem which led to the pills so I know. we have a home in CT. & he is from Reno so he will be far away from the people & places. It just upset me cuz he has done over a decade in Prison & stayed clean. But ur both right it may never happen. Thanks ladies!!

I can relate...I never understand, or stood how my fiance can go 12 months or more without a drop to drink and get out....and drink...it's like wtf????

We cannot control what another does, we only control how we react to it. That is why I believe it is important to be involved with a recovery program myself, that way I can detach and allow him to be who he is....BUT if he fu*** up again, this chick is GONE! I will NOT continue living the rest of my life with a man that cannot stay out of the prison system...in fact, I told him one day he should invest in some stock with the ODOC....he did not think that was very funny.

Peace~

Mcox'sbabygirl · #7 06-09-2012, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

Hopefully, learning all that he is learning, he will take it and put it to use in his personal life, when he gets out.

Hun, once an addict always an addict....they can NEVER say they will not use again....they would be lying if they told us that.

Just keep loving him like you are, and try to trust that he will make wise choices when he has freedom. Only he can control that..

It's good to have a place to come and bitch....glad you could get it out.

Peace~

Ur 1000% right & I am glad I didn't send the letter I wrote now. He had told me that he did drugs to numb his pain from not being loved or having anyone and now he knows how much he is loved & that is all he needed so I guess I took it like he was going to hurt me but its not about me. Ur right I need to give him credit for his honesty. I live him unconditionally & if it did happen I will help him

Mcox'sbabygirl · #8 06-09-2012, 07:55 PM

We cannot control what another does, we only control how we react to it. That is why I believe it is important to be involved with a recovery program myself, that way I can detach and allow him to be who he is....BUT if he fu*** up again, this chick is GONE! I will NOT continue living the rest of my life with a man that cannot stay out of the prison system...in fact, I told him one day he should invest in some stock with the ODOC....he did not think that was very funny.

Peace~[/quote]

I feel you cuz this is it for me. Im the only one who had stood by him. He 30 & has spent only 2 yrs, total out since 18. This is his 4th time in. I love him will always be there for him but can't be alone anymore. If he chooses drugs & Prison then I will have to move on. nexttime he gets 25yrs the judge said.

Mrs.Cuadras · #9 06-10-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mcox'sbabygirl

We cannot control what another does, we only control how we react to it. That is why I believe it is important to be involved with a recovery program myself, that way I can detach and allow him to be who he is....BUT if he fu*** up again, this chick is GONE! I will NOT continue living the rest of my life with a man that cannot stay out of the prison system...in fact, I told him one day he should invest in some stock with the ODOC....he did not think that was very funny.

Peace~

I feel you cuz this is it for me. Im the only one who had stood by him. He 30 & has spent only 2 yrs, total out since 18. This is his 4th time in. I love him will always be there for him but can't be alone anymore. If he chooses drugs & Prison then I will have to move on. nexttime he gets 25yrs the judge said.[/quote]

My husband said the same thing. I told him flat out, if you really love me and you want to spend the rest of your life with me and have kids and all that like you say you do.. then you have to pick.. its either me or the drugs. I found out one day he had bought some drugs and was thinking of using it one more time for one more hoorah.. ohh man i was PISSED! He was lucky he was in jail but that didnt stop me.. i tripped out on him so bad i told him i was done with him.. but he let me scream at him for like the whole 10 minutes we got to talk and he called back and told me where the drugs were and told me he never touched it. That he regretted buying it.. I went to check where it was at and he was right. He got lucky!. haha but i guess it worked for me because thats how i am.. im very blunt about things. But your right.. you cant control what other people do.. just leave it up to god's hands. I believe god has a plan with all of us.. i hope your man realizes who he has and leaves the drugs.. because at the end he will be the one loosing.. not you.

Mcox'sbabygirl · #10 06-12-2012, 05:11 AM

So my husband got my letter I wrote him after we talked on the phone. He said I misunderstood. He said that if he did drugs that it would be a conscious decision & he meant if he went out & screwed up that I wasn't leaving him. He said he is done with drugs & he used to numb himself. He said now that he has a family he doesn't want to be numb.

Mrs.Cuadras · #11 06-12-2012, 11:57 PM

Thats good. Thats the reason why my hubby was doing drugs too.. to get away from the world. But when he had his kids he slowed down.