Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

junglette247 · #1 06-10-2012, 09:02 PM

And he has chosen the poison over me. I know better than to take his choices personal but it still hurts and is so painful to be in love with a drug addict. I feel helpless that he can't figure out how to help himself but I know it's his journey and I've tried my best but he has to want it for himself. He called me wanting to talk about us and I was so angry cause he has been MIA for 8 days which is so typical of him when he is caught up that I just hung up that was 3 days ago. I'm just not in the mood to talk about working it out like he expects we will. I just need to step back and give myself time to approach things when I'm less angry and emotional but it sucks cause I love him so much and worry about him constantly but I can't let him keep me hostage in his addiction

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bricesPnut · #2 06-10-2012, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junglette247

And he has chosen the poison over me. I know better than to take his choices personal but it still hurts and is so painful to be in love with a drug addict. I feel helpless that he can't figure out how to help himself but I know it's his journey and I've tried my best but he has to want it for himself. He called me wanting to talk about us and I was so angry cause he has been MIA for 8 days which is so typical of him when he is caught up that I just hung up that was 3 days ago. I'm just not in the mood to talk about working it out like he expects we will. I just need to step back and give myself time to approach things when I'm less angry and emotional but it sucks cause I love him so much and worry about him constantly but I can't let him keep me hostage in his addiction

Sent from my iPod touch using PrisonTalk

Im sorry you have to go through this hun.Read your post and I look at myself..... I know exactly what are you going through I can honestly said my ex was the same!!!!! Can't help tho hes in prison with new crime(robbed bank) that land there again (liltle help from me cus I told detective) I fight for this man for 1 1/2 year which I never win his addicted the winer.no one can help except himself that want to stay clean or not.if you want to talk message me

I wish you the best

IrishFire · #3 06-10-2012, 10:41 PM

Let me tell you from experience. Whatever his choice of drug is, it will always come first to him, until HE makes the realization that he powerless to the addiction! It's a cold, cruel fact. It has NOTHING to do with you, hun, so don't ever feel like you are failing him somehow. At this time, I would say that you need to close the door to him. I know you love him, but, for now, love yourself more!

junglette247 · #4 06-11-2012, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishFire

Let me tell you from experience. Whatever his choice of drug is, it will always come first to him, until HE makes the realization that he powerless to the addiction! It's a cold, cruel fact. It has NOTHING to do with you, hun, so don't ever feel like you are failing him somehow. At this time, I would say that you need to close the door to him. I know you love him, but, for now, love yourself more!

You are so right but my heart is having hard time closing that door

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junglette247 · #5 06-11-2012, 01:42 AM

The first 2 weeks were so nice but now it's shit cause of his addiction. I wish the pain would stop. I miss us before his demons took hold again

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pisces317 · #6 06-11-2012, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junglette247

And he has chosen the poison over me. I know better than to take his choices personal but it still hurts and is so painful to be in love with a drug addict. I feel helpless that he can't figure out how to help himself but I know it's his journey and I've tried my best but he has to want it for himself. He called me wanting to talk about us and I was so angry cause he has been MIA for 8 days which is so typical of him when he is caught up that I just hung up that was 3 days ago. I'm just not in the mood to talk about working it out like he expects we will. I just need to step back and give myself time to approach things when I'm less angry and emotional but it sucks cause I love him so much and worry about him constantly but I can't let him keep me hostage in his addiction

Sent from my iPod touch using PrisonTalk

sorry your going through this,good for you for being a realist and acknowledging that he has to seek help and you will support his decisions ,sometimes we want so much to help for our relationship that we tend to put blinders on about the man his addiction,i've never dealt with addiction but i wish you lots of luck

missMBC · #7 06-11-2012, 05:26 PM

its meth huh?...i have a feeling its meth...thats a problem that will inevitably end him back up in prison/jail...do you and figure u out girl

xoxo
mizzusgray

Mrs*Axeslinger · #8 06-24-2012, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missMBC

its meth huh?...i have a feeling its meth...thats a problem that will inevitably end him back up in prison/jail...do you and figure u out girl

xoxo
mizzusgray

You know what, I was thinking the exact same thing.
My fiance had a problem with it, so much so that for awhile, he led me down the same path, and it was the reason he was both at and absconded from the rehab center he was ordered to while on parole, leading to a 7 month long parole violation and being back in prison. I've long since dropped the demon (in some ways I look at his incarceration as a saving grace for both of us)...but he still talks about it from time to time, and I worry alot that he'll pick it back up once he's home.
I just hope after hearing about all the "friends" he had while he was out being in prison on drug charges, some for 30 or more years, that he thinks twice

**sidewalker** · #9 06-11-2012, 07:31 PM

its hard. Very very hard to actually let them go.
But it seems that is the only way to deal with it. If he wants to quit, he will.
Nothing, nothing will make them stop that crap.
(at least in my ex hubbys case)
I left, and tried for one more year to get him to see the *light*
well, he didnt. So I filed for divorce.
(secretly hoping that THAT might make a difference. It didnt)
Went thru with the divorce, and he continued to use, on and off and I think even to this day, he still uses once in a while.
Its sad.

HisSunshine0071 · #10 06-11-2012, 08:43 PM

I'm so sorry ur going thru this hun! He needs to make the choice to quit; & it sucks he's losing a great gal who stood by him thru this bid. I hope u find the strength to keep moving forward!

MrsRoux2B · #11 06-11-2012, 08:53 PM

Im so sorry your going through this. That is heartbreaking. We are here for you. (hugs) I hope he pulls his head out of his ass and sets the drug down for your sake.

junglette247 · #12 06-12-2012, 09:39 AM

Thanks for all the supportive words

of course his tune is very different now claiming not to be doing anything but I'm not buying what he's selling

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He's Home 2011 · #13 06-14-2012, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junglette247

Thanks for all the supportive words

of course his tune is very different now claiming not to be doing anything but I'm not buying what he's selling

Sent from my iPod touch using PrisonTalk

LOL hola chica
y aye mio dios...my god. we know they "always sing this cancion!"

same ole'song.pero chica aqui es abrazas por ti tambien y' cuidate!

PM me anytime so sad. Your a great girl(woman)to love him as much as your doing. i bet deep down,naturally he know this pero.... damn drug,demon,and alcohol,seem to take away our loved ones,too eary,in death,and in life.sad.i
pray your able to make it with him,pero only will happen your knowing this
when he is really "clean"

and i pray for you both......
life too short to sit"around"and be so depress,stressed,he has to fix himself
first,before and LOVE himself enough to forever.........adore and love you.

BFFsupporter · #14 06-12-2012, 11:07 AM

What does it matter what he is claiming? Your man doesn't come home for 8 days??? That is a deal breaker right there.

People who use will not tell the truth, no matter what.

Let him go. You can't fix this problem It will only damage you further.

junglette247 · #15 06-12-2012, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BFFsupporter

What does it matter what he is claiming? Your man doesn't come home for 8 days??? That is a deal breaker right there.

People who use will not tell the truth, no matter what.

Let him go. You can't fix this problem It will only damage you further.

He got out a month ago and stepped back to his old ways within 2 weeks. He is home

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brooks · #16 06-12-2012, 01:25 PM

Hostage to his addiction.. very accurate way to describe it. It hurts so much to put aside feeling the love & caring & look at self-preservation. I have 2 little reasons to HAVE to do that. I honestly believe having my children made me react faster & stronger than I would have otherwise.

**shaunna** · #17 06-12-2012, 05:48 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that

Addiction of any kind is hard and it's unfortunate when it ruins relationships and the future of any kind. Best of luck with your future and whatever happens I hope it works out for the best for you

egbdf65 · #18 06-14-2012, 08:58 AM

You're right. You can't do it for him.

One thing we can never give an addict or alcoholic is Willingness. They have to find their own Higher Power and recover.

There's nothing worse than that feeling of waiting for someone to come back from a drug run. I did this when I was 30 years old. I would sleep on his mother's couch and wait for him to come home - for days - while he was out doing God knows what for heroin.

What should I have done instead? Gone home and been present for my own life. What a waste of time that was. How I settled for less over and over again and compromised myself for crumbs from people who couldn't give me anything, they just weren't capable. I never needed to do that to myself. I'm a magnificent woman and a Child of God.

lilma110687 · #19 06-24-2012, 04:13 PM

I know exactly what your going through. It is so hard. I haven't seen my ex in over 2 months but I still worry about him and think about him all the time. You are doing the right thing by separating it out. It doesn't mean it isn't hard. But everyone is right he will pick the addiction over you every time. So, when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change then change will come. I know from experience my dad is a recovering alcoholic and it took him almost losing his family to stop. (Not too surprising that I date a guy with an addiction huh?) Anyway, stay strong, feel free to PM me if you need anything. Trust me, I do understand the cognitive dissonance you are feeling.

agomez84 · #20 06-24-2012, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junglette247

And he has chosen the poison over me. I know better than to take his choices personal but it still hurts and is so painful to be in love with a drug addict. I feel helpless that he can't figure out how to help himself but I know it's his journey and I've tried my best but he has to want it for himself. He called me wanting to talk about us and I was so angry cause he has been MIA for 8 days which is so typical of him when he is caught up that I just hung up that was 3 days ago. I'm just not in the mood to talk about working it out like he expects we will. I just need to step back and give myself time to approach things when I'm less angry and emotional but it sucks cause I love him so much and worry about him constantly but I can't let him keep me hostage in his addiction

Sent from my iPod touch using PrisonTalk

Girl I'm so sorry that happen