Reflecting over the past year

[rottn]

Today is my nephews birthday, he's 22 today. A year ago he and I went out and I bought him his first "legal" drink. He told me that on my birthday he was taking me out to dinner. He didn't do it last year, he was sick in the hospital. He told me that it would happen this year for sure. The closest to a dinner me and him will ever have is whatever comes out of the vending machines in the visiting room.
He called me tonight to tell me he liked the card I sent him. He cried through the whole conversation with me, apoligizing for bringing me into his mess. I told him that I was grown up and I wouldn't be here if I didn't choose to be.
This is my family and I will support him no matter what. I know it's something he's not capable of doing. I'm hurt and confused too. Today is just a bad day for us all.

[AmyLynn]

I'm so sorry that you are having such a bad day today. Your nephew is very lucky to have you in his life. I hope that the next day is better for the both of you. I know this has to be hard. I look at my nephew and think about things that I hope he never has to go though. Keep up the good work in letting him know that he is not alone!!!!! Tell you nephew that I said Happy Birthday!!!!
Amy

[haswtch]

oh man Lisa, that's so poignant and painful. arrrgh. hugs to you and him to.

[rottn]

Thanks guys....this is just really eating at me. His mother all of a sudden wants to be a mother and apparently thinks that I have to read his letters to me over the phone. I know it will stop as soon as she gets the money for her next high, but for the time being.....

[FriscoLady]

Lisa,

((((Hugs)))), I know your hurt and pain, we are both there, I raised Holly because my sister was either drunk or high all the time. We have become their Mom's in many ways. My sister gave her life, God and I taught her life, as you and God have your nephew.

I once said I failed my sister and Holly in my promise to raise her right and to stand by her. Well, you know I did not fail her, we had a detour in the road, why, I don't know, it just happened. I did raise her right, and I stand by her today, as I will forever.

He knows who has been the Mom by example and love, you. He will always know that.

Maybe some day your sister will find the strength and courage to kick her addiction and to step up and be his Mother both by birth and by right of passage through life with him. My sister never could.

However, you already have his love - for you have stood tall and with him when others could not or would not.

We love some people simply because they are family, others we love not only because they are family, but because like you, they did something from the bottom of their heart, they stand with us no matter what may come, as you have with your nephew.

Stay strong, Lisa, I stand with you, my friend.

Patti

[rottn]

Patti,
Thank you so much. I'm so ready to cry right now, someone really knows how I feel! I got a PM yesterday from a member who sent him a birthday card and she was telling me that he wrote her the nicest thank you letter. 5 years ago this kid was a thug in training and when he came into my house I tried to teach him the proper way to act and when to be polite. That PM showed me that he listened, even though he bucked the teaching at first. He also called me last night and was crying because he got so many birthday cards from so many people he didn't know, but his mother forgot to send him one. This makes me sick, she can hurt other people but that's her own child. I lost my son 7 years ago in a traffic accident and would give anything to have him with me, but she throws him away. Just venting, sorry. Your post really made me feel so much better though. Thank you....

[debbiehhh]

I'm really sorry your having a bad day. My sister is the same way with my nephew of 18 who knows it all and is on drugs. her answer is move out and do something with your life how does she want him to do something with his life when he high all the time. I feel your pain with your nephew mine is not far from that road.