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wifey4lifey · #1 06-07-2005, 11:05 PM

Has anyone heard Mariah Carey's new song " We Belong Together " Well if you have, its the perfect song for my life. I've been with my husband for almost 2 years now and we've been married going on 6 months. When I first started this relationship with him I NEVER thought we would end up where we are now ! Not to suggest that it is a bad thing, but I love this man more than life it's self and it is getting harder to be a inmate wife ! I miss him so much, I need him so bad

My life is falling apart, my living situation is a wreck, I'm alone out here in California ( besides his mother, who has her own soap opera ~but she does what she can ). On mothers day my car broke down , comming back from visiting. I was on the side of the road about 20 miles from home, it was raining, I had little money and it was a mess . I swear it felt like the end of the world . My husband happened to call me when I got home and I just let it all out. I let him know that I hated California . I didnt move here for him, but I stayed. and I went on and on about me not having anyone here and how scared I was about the thought of having NO ONE here for me. Well thanks to me , he then went into a severe depression mode and to make a long story short. I deceided then to never tell him of my problems again. Which is now causing more problems from holding everything in. I want to tell him so bad, but I cant have him thinking I would be better off without him. And then he has put this extremely challenging burden on me. Getting him home.!! I mean how in the h*ll am I supposed to do that

I'm not a lawyer, nor do I know one. Even if I did, I couldnt afford one. I'm trying to not be homeless at the end of the month. Which is stressing me out like I dont know what. I just want to be able to " tag " him and say your it. You deal with it all for awhile. I'm just so tired.........but everytime I try to mention it to him, he continues to say, well baby get me home. and I will do all that and them some. Which is all good. I need him here, but the pressure I feel from him about that is to much...I know he doesnt mean to do it. He just wants to help me, but I dont know how to tell him to back off that. I mean I dont want a prison relationship for the next 6 years but I dont know how to even begin to get him home. I dont know .........I'm just tired. I dont have any friends here. I have no one to talk to , I dont do anything.I dont go anywhere, I have no life what so ever. I just lost my job. I feel so useless

California Sunshine · #2 06-07-2005, 11:37 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way honey! Hang in there and please know there are people who understand what you are going through and who care here

(((hugs)))

wifey4lifey · #3 06-07-2005, 11:41 PM

thank you

stilvng_u · #4 06-08-2005, 12:17 AM

Just know that when you hit rock bottom you have no where left to go but up. You've made it through life this far and you'll find the stregnth to make it through. I often times feel alone as well. I compare it to being surrounded by alot of people yet feeling as though you're in a world of your own. I too try not to let my husband know about all the problems that I face. But I know that in doing that I have to be that much stronger. I tell myself this .....I WILL GET THROUGH TODAY. So if nothing else just get through today and know that one day will be the day that you have to get through it together. Also remember that God does not put anything on you that you cannot handle so you do have the strengnth to get through this and it's just a matter of you knowing that

. Keep smiling and know that better days are ahead

PEACHESORTIZ · #5 06-08-2005, 12:20 AM

Dont put so much pressure on yourself. but let him know how you feel about him pressuring you. I felt the same way with my man (holding everything in)
but i had to let it out and he talked to some of the inmates in there (that have been there for a while) and they talked to him and told him to dont put so much pressure on me, since i must already have so much pressure on me.
Well talking to him....really helped...so let him know to relax on all the pressure.
You will be okay, dont think so much about it...take it one day at a time.

what prison is he at ?

Why do you think CALI is so bad, where you originally from ?

COMPLETElyhis · #6 06-08-2005, 08:54 AM

Let me just add my two pennies...and hopefully it will add a little sunshine to your day...think of things this way...just when you think you've got it bad...someone else has it worse...

Peace and blessings...

24jf · #7 06-08-2005, 09:10 AM

No advice to give... Just wanted to offer you a (((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))

lonelyliz · #8 06-08-2005, 10:55 AM

One of the best things that has come out of this time away from my husband is that I have become COMPLETELY self-reliant, and I KNOW I can handle anything that comes my way. I know how you feel though, because I was like that at first and sometimes I just still want him home to take care of things. But what a great feeling to know I can do anything!

bailey_b · #9 06-08-2005, 11:00 AM

Put your faith in the Lord, TRUST him and you will see that it will bring you relief...I promise you that...

cchrissie973 · #10 06-08-2005, 11:07 AM

Your situation sounds just like mine, when I moved to Florida, just to be closer to him. All my family and friends are in Oklahoma. I was used to a man always taking care of things for me, whether it was my ex-husband or my man. I was just about to be evicted and lose my car and all I could hear from him was I need this or I need that. Believe me, I know what you are going through and I'm sure there are alot of others here that have had the same. We are here for you, if you need to talk.

wifey4lifey · #11 06-08-2005, 11:57 AM

you all are so sweet, thank you for the words of encouragement. I love my husband to death and I know that he would give the world for me. I am just tired right now and I know that this too shall pass........

wifey4lifey · #12 06-08-2005, 11:59 AM

I'm from Florida and I now live in the Sacramento area. I think California is a nice place to visit, but I dont like the living environment here. The cost of living is OUTRAGEOUS, the school system is so slow and behind

And I dont have anyone here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PEACHESORTIZ

Dont put so much pressure on yourself. but let him know how you feel about him pressuring you. I felt the same way with my man (holding everything in)
but i had to let it out and he talked to some of the inmates in there (that have been there for a while) and they talked to him and told him to dont put so much pressure on me, since i must already have so much pressure on me.
Well talking to him....really helped...so let him know to relax on all the pressure.
You will be okay, dont think so much about it...take it one day at a time.

what prison is he at ?

Why do you think CALI is so bad, where you originally from ?

MsAloha1018 · #13 06-09-2005, 01:34 AM

I learned to never lean on anyone but myself. It was just a reality of life, what with parents who were too young to handle the responsibilities of a family, an ex-husband who was not really there for us and when he noticed who we were he was too busy criticizing or being cruel and in being a single parent, raising my two younger children while my fiance was incarcerated. Even in my relationship with my fiance prior incarceration I don't think I ever fully trusted him enough to really lean on him. How could I, with my history learn to trust anyone?

I'm really sorry that you're going through this tough period without your loved one near. I really wish I could know what it's like to totally trust someone so much that you can be confident in leaning on them and know they won't let you down. As much as I love my guy, the stuff that's ingrained in me won't allow me to do that.

CougarsGrl4Ever · #14 06-09-2005, 08:36 AM

Hun I know EXACTLY where you are coming from.....The only advice there is to give is what I have come to live by these days....."Let go and let God" .......I have come to learn,,,things WILL be done in HIS time,,,NOT ours!!!! Untill you lay your troubles in His hands ,,,they will continue to be just that,,,,,TROUBLES!!!! God bless you and keep you safe,,,,
Stacy

tubbysblanquita · #15 06-09-2005, 08:42 AM

Hey .. first off heres a big fat ((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))

2nd i totally understand where your coming from.. if you go back and read some of my posts you'll understand why i can relate... I moved to California to be with my man going on 4 years ago ... then we both got caught up in some s**t and i went away for alittle while on vacation we'll say (yeah some vacation

) .. now when i got off of vacation he had moved with our daughter to Charlotte.. so off i went to Charlotte where he had everything waiting for me .... that was in the begining of Oct 04 - then Feb 05 he goes on "vacation

" leaving me in a city where i know barley anyone (an the ones i know ain't worth knowin) the house, the kids and the bills..... After him being gone for a couple months i got laid off (not laid - i wish hehe

) and the bills kept coming and funny thing is, kids wanna eat no matter what

!!! But i looked for a better job and found one and things will still be hard but girl .. they gonna be alright ..... You hang in there and try not to sucumb to the pressure's we face ...

Pm me anytime