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mamicita · #1 03-26-2005, 03:20 PM

MY MAN HAS BEEN TO 3 DIFFERENT JAILS THE WHOLE TIME HIM AND I WERE TOGETHER..THE FIRST JAIL DIDNT ALLOW MARRIAGES..THE SECOND ALLOWED THEM BUT HE WAS NOT STAYING THERE MORE THAN A MONTH AND NOW THIS FINAL CORRECTIONAL CENTER WHERE HE WILL BE AND STAY AT YES IT DOES ALLOW MARRIAGES... MY MAN HAD ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM I WAS ALL EXCITED...I STILL AM EXCITED BUT THE PROBLEM IS I HAVE SO MUCH FEARS ABOUT THIS...I FEEL THAT I WONT LOOK MY BEST AT THE WEDDING..I FEAR THAT THE PROCESS WILL TAKE TOO LONG OR IT WONT EVEN GO THROUGH AND SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG...I FEAR THAT THINGS CHANGE FOR THE WORST..I FEAR THAT ALL MY FEARS COME TRUE ABOUT THIS..AND IM SO SCARED..NOW WE NEVER CONTACTED THE CHAPLIAN YET BECAUSE MY MAN IS ON LOCK FOR A WEEK CAUSE HE JUST GOT THERE...BUT AS SOON AS HE GET OUT IM SURE WE WILL BOTH CONTACT THE CHAPLIAN....IM JUST SCARED FOR SO MANY REASONS..I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO MY MAN MORE THAN ANYTHING BECAUSE OF SOME MANY REASONS BUT MY FEARS MIGHT TAKE OVER BECAUSE MY DREAMS COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN...DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT? DID ANYONE GO THROUGH THIS? WHAT COULD BE DONE?,....SOMEONE HELP.

TNC · #2 03-26-2005, 03:31 PM

I think its normal to have some anxiety. It took me a year and half after my husband asked me until I was really ready. I will tell you what everyone told me "if he loves you then he wont care what you look like on that day".

I didnt really start stressing over what I would look like until about a month before we actually got married

dana2nice2000 · #3 07-12-2005, 08:22 PM

I know how you feel.

I am getting married in November. Everything is set and going along according to plan, but I always have this fear of what can go wrong. Try to stay positive and not think of the negative. I kept doing that and everything worked out according to plan. Stay positive! Keep the negatives in the back of your mind. Always hope for the best! Keep strong and I pray everything will work out for you. Good luck and keep me posted!

JamesWifey · #4 07-12-2005, 09:55 PM

Wow! Lately it seems like everyone on PTO is getting married

I definitely understand your fears! I am getting married next week and the anxiety is definitely starting to kick in girl! I remember reading some of the other member's posts prior to their wedding day, and seeing how nervous they were. I NEVER imagined that would be me, but here I am, a nervous wreck

If you really love your man and are ready for this, try not to worry about the things that are out of your control (i.e. how long the process will take). The whole process took James and I over 7 months long. A lot of it was frustrating and aggravating for me, but it will all be worth it when I become his wife next week.

I don't know anyone who does not experience some anxiety, fear, or nervousness before getting married. This is a huge life event!

Good luck working with the chaplain and do keep us posted. I wish you and your fiance the very best of luck!!!

Cinco's lady · #5 07-15-2005, 04:44 AM

I agree with the rest, I think it's normal to get the jitters. That and we know the DOC's system...they love having complications and having to push things back, make delays, etc. You just got to stay positive and keep your eye on the goal (Your loving husband and marriage!) There may be some bumps in the road along the way, but staying focused and not getting too discouraged is the best bet. What is meant to be will be. The best of luck to the both of you!

magical_lady76 · #6 07-15-2005, 05:47 AM

I know what you are going through too. All the hassle of dealing with DOC is nerve racking enough plus on top of that we have all the nerves of a nervous bride. The way I am doing mine (because I couldn't even function with a date) is I'm not setting a date until all the other legalities and formalities are done. After marriage license is filed and dress and rings are all done then I plan on calling the chaplain and saying ok this is what I want and whatcha got for me? Now I can deal with one thing at a time! Good Luck! Congrats!

I'mTei's · #7 07-15-2005, 10:39 PM

...and I thought I was the only one that is nervous.

I'm getting married next week and I've had had so many fears and so had he. He has a fear of fainting during our ceremony. I dreamed last night that when I went to get my visitor's pass to see him I was number 456, LOL. I also feel that even know they are never on lockdown, they might just happen to be on the day of our wedding. Don't worry it's normal to have these type of fears. It took us a month to get the paperwork turned in a set a date. WoW!, I wasn't expecting it to be so soon but anyway, don't worry everything will work out.

vanilla_flayme · #8 07-16-2005, 07:28 AM

OMG two days before I got married I had a nervous breakdown! Since we had to do it by proxy, I didn't have to worry about as much, but still. I lost it in WalMart. I started crying right in the section where the dresses are. Everything I tried on was ugly on me, or just plain out ugly!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamicita

MY MAN HAS BEEN TO 3 DIFFERENT JAILS THE WHOLE TIME HIM AND I WERE TOGETHER..THE FIRST JAIL DIDNT ALLOW MARRIAGES..THE SECOND ALLOWED THEM BUT HE WAS NOT STAYING THERE MORE THAN A MONTH AND NOW THIS FINAL CORRECTIONAL CENTER WHERE HE WILL BE AND STAY AT YES IT DOES ALLOW MARRIAGES... MY MAN HAD ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM I WAS ALL EXCITED...I STILL AM EXCITED BUT THE PROBLEM IS I HAVE SO MUCH FEARS ABOUT THIS...I FEEL THAT I WONT LOOK MY BEST AT THE WEDDING..I FEAR THAT THE PROCESS WILL TAKE TOO LONG OR IT WONT EVEN GO THROUGH AND SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG...I FEAR THAT THINGS CHANGE FOR THE WORST..I FEAR THAT ALL MY FEARS COME TRUE ABOUT THIS..AND IM SO SCARED..NOW WE NEVER CONTACTED THE CHAPLIAN YET BECAUSE MY MAN IS ON LOCK FOR A WEEK CAUSE HE JUST GOT THERE...BUT AS SOON AS HE GET OUT IM SURE WE WILL BOTH CONTACT THE CHAPLIAN....IM JUST SCARED FOR SO MANY REASONS..I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO MY MAN MORE THAN ANYTHING BECAUSE OF SOME MANY REASONS BUT MY FEARS MIGHT TAKE OVER BECAUSE MY DREAMS COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN...DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT? DID ANYONE GO THROUGH THIS? WHAT COULD BE DONE?,....SOMEONE HELP.

Willsgirl · #9 07-16-2005, 08:06 AM

I know what you mean, I just got married on the 8th, by the time the day finally got here I know my mom was tired of me LOL Everytime I talked to her, all I talked about was the wedding and we talk once everyday. She had to calm me down, cause I was freaking out cause I couldnt find shoes to go with my dress, and this was two weeks before. But in the end all went well, I got some really cute shoes for 15 dollars(Jcpenny was have a good sale) we were on time, I was looking really good, and I married the man of my life.