Have you lied to co-workers about your man being incarcerated?

[monet420]

I was just wondering if anyone ever had to lie to CO workers about where you man is at? I have been lying to this lady for a while now. She thinks that my man just lives a few hours from me because he works up there…I know it is wrong but she is very noisy and she seems to be very judgmental. Believe me I am not ashamed of my man I just don’t think this women will understand. So has anyone every lied about where there man was at??? Maybe said he was serving our country or working on a secret mission

[liberaldog]

If people I don't know well ask, I just say he lives in Georgia! I don't think it's anyone's business, although I am not ashamed of him. I talk to my friends about him and his situation all the time

[mel2020]

Its a question of whether you want the problem as to whether you tell people. I, personally, do not mention it to anyone. I don't take well to people making snap judgements about him, so I avoid the confrontation. Its none of her business, so it doesn't matter what you tell her. Tell her he's ice-fishing in Alaska for crying out loud. Why does she care where he is? Its YOUR man. Tell her to find her own, or pay more attention to hers! *L*

I do that a lot, but I have an easy out. He's in NC and I'm in KY, so they'll never know where he is in NC! They know I lived there for a while and that he's "taking care of business" so he can move here. That's all they need to know as far as I'm concerned.

[JD'slove]

Yes for a long time I did lie about where JD was and sometimes still do. I use to say that he worked for the state and was sent to southern ohio to work. I just after alll this years I know that most people are not negative about people in prison. It is so nice to finaly found PTO just stay strong you will learn as you go who to tell what too. So not worry about the lieing just tell them he is a way and leave it at that. This way you are not lieing just not telling everything. I hate lieing so this way I do not feel like I did anything wrong.

[2nice]

I never lie if it is asked as a direct question. I usually just say that he lives in the US and leave it as that!

[Patty]

I never lied. I received a ton of support from family, friends and co-workers many of whom were present at his welcome home party. I am lucky though. I completely understand why some feel the need to lie to protect their jobs or to keep judgemental folks away. I wish it wasn't necessary but alas we do not live in a perfect world.

All the best,
Patty

[MurphyGirl]

I used to lie, but it really weighs me down having to keep up an untruth, so now I either tell the thruth or not answer and just change the subject. The person asking usually gets the hint that your private life is off limits to them, and they'll stop asking.



pw

[tuttles]

Why lie? What did I do wrong? Love a man who is in prison, well if that's wrong then I don't want to be right!!!!!!

If people don't like it, then they can step right on out of our life. I don't need anyone's approval or permission to love my husband. He is who he is, and I love him for all of it, including his current residence.

[Silva]

Absolutely not! Just as tuttles said, it's not me that's done anything wrong. I've been at my current job just under a month and we dont have a lot of time for talking, so it hasnt come up in conversation yet, but if and when it does (Office Xmas lunch I expect, if not before) I will tell them exactly what they ask me. Its quite fun watching their jaw hit the ground when I say he's in america, and then it starts on the dig for Australia when they ask a little more and I say 'Oh no, he's in prison... what for?... no, its ok... murder' .
Everyone at my previous job knew, because if I want time off for any reason to do with Ray, I cant keep using the migraine excuse, I'd rather be honest from the start.

[jblovesdb]

Well...it's not that I lie...I just don't mention it to some people. They know I am engaged...but they don't ask where he is...so I don't tell! If someone does ask me...I do tell them. I have lied in the past....but then I ended up telling them the truth. I was afraid of people would say about him...but then I realized that I have no need to lie. I am NOT ashamed of my man...and just b/c he is in prison doesn't mean ish!! When I first started working at this job...maybe 1 or 2 people I told...now just about anyone I talk to knows. I actually do get some support...but I also get a lot of crazy looks and comments. Not just b/c he's in prison...but b/c I am only 20, I'm engaged, I will have waited for about 2 years, and he's in prison!! The combination of all that usually sets them off. Hugs
-Jackie

[gabbygirl372001]

People know where I work, and ever since they found out, I've been treated differently. So...now I just keep my mouth shut about it. It's really no ones business what I do in my personal life anyway. It's funny how people feel that they can offer opinions on the way I live my life. I won't lie about it though, if anyone asks. ~Gabby~

[whiskeylullabye]

I don't lie, if people ask I say he's on a government sponsored vacation. Almost everyone assumes that means he's in the military. If they ask what kind of vacation, I tell them the truth.
I wouldn't be able to keep my lies straight.

[piercednmad]

I don't hide the truth about where my husband is, if someone asks I tell them where he is and why he is in there. Hopefully it will make someone think twice about drugs and what can happen to you if you become addicted to them what they cause you to do...what you have to loose...my husband is loosing our daughters childhood as she will be a teenager when he gets out. If explaining our situation to someone else might prevent it from happening to someone else I don't care what others think about it.

[sickofprisons]

I never did lie- I never felt embarrassed. It's just a fact. I never encountered much judgement about it either, maybe because it didn't bother me. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". Of course, what you may not realize is just how many people are affected by the prison system. I was quite surprised when I talked openly about it that many co-workers stepped forward to tell me about their own friends and family behind bars. You can't tell by looking at somebody whether or not they spend their weekends in the visiting line!

[hesavedme]

I swear to you girl I wish I was a big enough person to just flat out say the whole and complete truth.Yes its not what people would expect or even want to hear but its the truth and its weight off of my shoulders.Here is where I stand.Some people know while others dont.Supprisingly I have told a few people with suprise to find out they also have a loves one locked up.Its very hard being an inmates loved one/wife.The looks we get and the judgment we face is not something that comes without reward though.You have to think of it this way, if they had a loved on incarcerated they would probably ease up alittle on the situtation.Our men are in prison, thats a fact.I pray for a day when we can all plain and simply say HES IN PRISON and not feel the guilt or shame or embaressment from it.The fact of the matter is humans make mistakes.Some people get caught, some people dont and some people just arent willing to admit they too have made a mistake worth putting them where our men are.I am selective at who I tell where my raul is but thats only temporary.

[guitargirl]

yeah ive lied to quite a few people about where my man is, not just co workers. ive told my co workers that my guy lives in kinsgston b/c hes in construction and thats where his job is at the moment. i dont feel guilty about it really. its my life and my business, not theirs, i dont go prodding into their personal lives so i expect them to do the same.

[tinab1221]

No I have always been honest about where he was at I know he isnt guilty so I have no reason to lie. But now maybe I should have?

[TAT's Girl]

There are a few of my close friends at work that know the whole situation..his past, why he's there, how long, etc....they are very supportive of me standing by the man I love. He and I met at my work (he was a former patient, I am a nurse), and that, in itself, is frowned upon by many people I work with. So I keep my personal business to myself.

[rlewis729]

Well, I don't have to lie to my co-workers, because I don't have any! LOL (I run my own business from home).

I met D since he's been in, so 98 percent of people that know about our relationship, know he's locked up. The other 2 percent never asked, they just know he lives in Illinois!

[PBE]

Only one of my coworkerd knows about where my boo is at and she is cool people so that's why I told her. My other coworkers just know he lives upstate but not why. I don't tell them because I know they would be shady and judgemental and I am not going to justify or explain my love for my boo to ANYONE . I love him for who he is and that is that period.

[feona]

In the past I've lied about where he is but only because people are so judgemental. If I become close friends with a co-worker I tell her but if not then I pretty much avoid even talking about him.

[pieface25]

I have found that most people are very judgemental of another persons situation, especially if they do not know the whole situation. Usually if people ask I have lied at times but other times I say that he lives in another state and we have a ong distance relationship.

[teajai71]

I haven't lied to my co-workers about where he is. He used to be one of my co-workers! When everything started happening and I was coming in late or missing work because of his court dates, it was just way easier to be up front than to pretend that he was out of town or something.

...now associates and strangers, I don't share so readily with them because people are so judgmental:shake: and it's really none of their business!

[Em77]

Yeah I lie. Not because I am ashamed but what is it their business. People judge thats what will happen. People who need to know those that dont know arent needing too.
I had alot of trouble at my last job with them knowing about my partner inside. With my new job.
I tell my co workers that he works for the government(true) and he works in the C.I.D. ( crimes in detention) department. We are unable to see each other as much as we like due to work and thats it. If they asked more questions I just look at them, they stop.

[queenpen]

I have never lied about my man's where abouts. I just wish people could understand that for those people with love ones in the system that they are not always seeking love and affection from other people on the outside and that people can be devoted to there mates.