My grades and my mom (vent)

[MonsterGirlsMom]

I'm sorry if this isnt the right place for this guys, i just need to vent. All through my childhood and teen years, i was never praised for anything. I use to love school when i was a child. I would bring home my A papers and be excited to show my mom, only for her to say "thats nice Steph" and go back to what she was doing. I was always brought up with her telling me " i dont even know why you're trying, you're not going to be able to do it" So that discouraged me from a lot of things, including sports. Please dont get me wrong, I'm not trying to make my mom out to be a beast, she just never had any compassion for anything. And still doesnt.
So when I decided to go back to college, I called her to tell her I was approved and would be starting in the fall. She starts to tell me how its just going to be a waste of my money because I'm just going to drop out or wont make the grades to stay in. So in turn, I busted my you know what to make the grades this quarter. I just got my grades in the mail today...ALL A's! (I was expecting at least 2 B's) I am so proud of myself. So I just called her to tell her, and she HAD to have heard the excitement in my voice, there was no covering it. So I tell her what I got, and her response was "thats nice, so are you actually going to go back for the next quarter?" I was crushed.
I'm 22 yrs old, with a child, I live on my own, and support myself...yet i still strive for her approval. I realized just a little while ago that I need to do this for myself. I really feel good about myself right now and to let someone ruin it for me is unhealthy. It just hurts sometimes, I wish I could hear "Hey, great job, I'm so proud of you" just once.
Thanks for letting me vent.

[T&tlovesic1]

Thats a real shame that your mother acts that way. You are a 22 year old single mother that supports herself, and is making straight A's through college, so you can better your life and the life of your daughter. If she won't say she's proud of you, I will. Your strength is amazing, and you are an inspiration to all single mothers! Congradulations on your hard work, and keep it up!

[nimuay]

Sadly, sometimes that's just the way it goes - I had one of those moms, too. And that just means tell yourself. You and your daughter are the ones who will benefit, and you are going to have to be the one who says "Atta girl!" Go ahead and break the rule that says you can't feel it until she does. You're doing really fine!

[jewellsprincess]

congratulations........here at pto we are very proud of you for what you are accomplishing in your life at your age keep up the good work...........i know approval from your mom is important but its the approval and praise you give your self that means more.............dont let anyone bring you down..............

[JustTami]

"I wish I could hear "Hey, great job, I'm so proud of you" just once."
I say pick up the phone...and say this to her! Do it.
You deserve a big congrats!
She won't change the way she treats you- as long as you don't make her see that she's wrong...
Let her know she hurt your feelings.

[MrsBenji]

Well, for what it's worth, *I* am proud of you Steph!!! All A's is GREAT!!!! That's not EVER easy to do, so when you add in taking care of yourself and a little one, you are doing great!!!

I know it's very cliche to say, but talk to your mom and let her know how hard you are trying and it'd be nice to hear her acknowledge that. All too often, folks don't realize the things they are saying or how much weight they carry with the other person. It might also be her way or trying to protect you or something. Talk to her...

Hang in there!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!
Jenn

[silverleaves786]

I think you are doing great. You know what you want and you are going for it. But you need to TELL your Mum why you are upset... try this

"Mum, when you do X, I feel like X and from now on I would like X to happen."

It could be Mum when I turn to you for support and you ignore me I feel sad, I would like to have you support and encouragment in my life. I would like you to have faith in me.

But now the ball is in her court and you cant assume she will say Yes, she might laugh her head off.. but you told her and you can move on. Maybe just maybe she will think about it- you might have finnished your studies before she clicks. At least you know you calmly and respectfully were open with her.

You also have to deal with your own postive self talk because it is likely that every time you acheive something you wont feel 'great' about it.. you never got great feedback before. Encourage yourself and have good friends who push you t acheive you dream.

Hope you sort it out. Facing family is always scarey. Good luck.

[MonsterGirlsMom]

Thank you guys. I was just really emotional yesterday, and that didn't help. I know to people who arent in school..its just "a letter" but to me is proof of how hard i worked for the last 10 weeks. Again, thank you guys, it really means a lot to me

[InterestedParty]

Steph - Great job! That is an outstanding accomplishment. I bet your mother has bragged to someone about your grades and what you're doing.

My mother was difficult too. When I got all A's I must not have been picking challenging classes. If I didn't get all A's I wasn't applying myself and was wasting my talents. There was no winning.

I wonder which is worse.

Keep shocking her!

[one_luv]

I am proud of you!

Have you ever tried to talk to your Mom how she makes you feel with this talk? Moms often don't realize what they do to their kids. Anyone, even Moms can chance. My Mom has gotten a lot better as she has aged when it comes to encouraging instead of discouraging us.

[Ravenslove]

Steph: Great job. I know how hard it's been for you this last quarter and think its fantastic that you got all A's. I am proud to be your friend.

Maria