He's home and things are....wierd..different....HELP!!

[Manzanita]

WOW!

I want to thank all of you for this advice and wonderful support, I know it wasnt given to me but I listened and feel very comforted by this...
Candy, your story, as you know has touched me tremendously...
I need it, my husband is returning home after almost 15 years, maybe longer if they keep him until his CR of 16.5 years....
we both have our fears, he fears the big city and getting a job, being alone, he fears his freedom...
I do not doubt him because he is strong and determined and positive and took his time to improve his attitide and way of thinking, yet still, you never know what will happen until he steps out into his freedom.

This was great to read!

[chinagrove]

I happened on to post just browsing around. Although my loved one is my son and not my spouse I think the information is going to be very helpful. My son is not married and has no one but his immediate family waiting for him. I have copied the information and will share it with the other members of my family in the event I am not here (age and health) when he gets home. It will help everyone to understand and I want to thank you posting it again.

[ringoswife]

I just got out on parole on Friday after only 3 months. I cried when I walked through the gate. I was overwhelmed by the ride home - everything moved so fast. When we stopped for lunch I felt like everyone knew where I had just come from. I wolfed my food down like a starving person because I had gotten used to doing that so others could have my seat. I smelled smells I hadn't smelled in a long time. I came home to an empty apartment as ringo is still inside. I cried when I unlocked my door. I couldn't go to bed until 2:30 in the morning - I just sat in the quiet and cried. I slept like a baby the rest of the night. It IS a big adjustment being home. I have to worry now about applying for Employment Insurance, finding another job, getting started on the counselling that is part of my conditions. I haven't seen my friends yet although I have spoken on the phone. I had a panic attack at the mall today because there were so many people!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it will take time. Have patience and be as understanding as you can. It is not personal at all. I'm sure it will be ok!!
Hugs to you and good luck!!

[lady_love6866]

Missmyman, Hang in there girl, its not you! cjjack said exactly what my fiance said when he first came home, our first stop was at the gas station to get some "good" smokes, and he wanted to go in, he felt like everyone was staring at him.
They need time to readjust. He may feel for awhile like he is being torn in several different directions, because everyone is wanting a piece of their time, well thats how Brian felt anyhow. Just try and be supportive. Trust me I know its hard, because all I wanted was to be close to him, and I also felt like it was me, but its not. Going so long with out any privacy, silence takes some getting used to. There are so many different emotions Brian said he felt. I wish you both the best, but hang in there. just take it one day at a time, most of all communicate. I feel for you, because I know what you are going through. I went through the same thing when Brian came home on parole the last time.

[way3593]

Congratulations, try to remember to take it one day at a time with your guy. He is probably going thru some of the same emotions you are right about now and in time all this will pass. Try to stay positive for the both of you.