What does PTO mean to you?

[JodyAnnShaw]

I have been a member of PTO for quite some time now... and since the day I've joined, I've talked about PTO to Dale. He has always been very supportive about the time I spend here, and everything PTO is about.

Recently, we discussed how long I've been spending on PTO for the last couple of months. He posed a question to me in a letter, and I responded with about a 4 page letter, all about PTO. What I'd like to do, is send this thread to Dale, with everyone's opinions on it. Here is what Dale asked me:

"Explain to me why you want to be so helpful to PTO? Are you trying to become a civil rights activist or a promoter of some sorts? What exactly is it that you're hoping to achieve through PTO? Are you trying to manage your free time in a productive manner, personal gratification, or a combination of different factors?"

I'm not asking that you address Dale's questions directly, I'm simply asking, "What does PTO mean to you?", (though, if you answer one or two of his questions, that would be cool too ).
I'm sure Dale will gain more understanding after reading what everyone has to say about this!
Thanks in advance,

Jodygirl

[carolK]

When I joined PTO, I was searching for answers. I am in the process of being sentenced for a non-violent offense. I wanted to learn what I could about prison life, to try to prepare myself for the worse. What I have found at PTO is amazing. I found answers to my questions, I've talked to others who have been in my situation, I have found non-judgement caring people who share with each other their hopes, fears, joys and sorrows. I have found personal growth at PTO, I no longer am focused on only me and my problems, but find myself reaching out to support others, praying for others, offering friendship and concern. PTO has helped me to become a better person.

Carol

[HONEY]

I found PTO like Carol looking for answers. Answers to questions I knew I would not really find anywhere else. I know what support groups are about. I know we have a common denominator very central in our lives. I immediately felt the warmth and compassion I needed. I am isolated from people most likely, by choice. It isn't good for me to be removed from social interaction but I have found a way to get out of myself (a new flash for me) and still be at home. (take care of my mom here). I love PTO. I too have learned so much, and I also like to be able to comfort others.

Right now PTO means life to me. Even if I seem a tad addicted to this place. And I do not really like computers and how addicting interation with the keboard can become. I justify it being involved with PTO.

LIFE and LIVING

PTO = LIFE

HONEY

[Joanna]

I found PTO after searching on the Internet.
My man is in prison in CA and I’m from London, England so I didn’t know what to expect about his parole, how things are where he is etc. There is a huge amount of information about what people on the outside as well on the inside need to know, on top of that if your feeling down or like a lot of us lonely you log on here and always get a HUGE amount of support.
Now not only do I get the information and support I need that gets me through a sad day but its nice to know when someone else is feeling like you and needs that support you can add a post to their thread and even if you have no advice you are letting them know they are not alone and have people thinking of them and their time of need
Hope this helps

[Phil in Paris]

It's been almost 1 year since I joined PTO. I was looking for something FLDOC related and came across PTO. There was a Florida forum, so I joined and looked for the answers to my questions. I've been helped and welcomed by all those people I didn't even know, that was amazing !!! It was the very first time in my life I joined this kind of discussion board.

Besides all the valuable informations I found on PTO, I also found a wonderful family and very supportive and caring friends. Being in love with a prisoner makes you live in a very isolated world. Not so many people understand your motivations and most of them think you're crazy. When you're on PTO, you're with people who understand and don't judge you. You can speak of your loved one, your fears your hopes, people listen to you without rolling their eyes.

After a while, you start getting used to the prison system, you've learned quite a lot of things, and you can know give help and advice to the newbies. You can share your knowledge and experiences, and that's important, because a newbie is often lost and clueless facing the "system". I once was, and sometimes, I still am.

Now Dale to answer your questions, I try being helpful on PTO because people were helpful when I joined. I think it's normal I now share my knowledge with others. It's just out of friendship, I don't try to prove anything to myself or others. Besides, during my free time (or when I'm at work ), I love being on PTO, to "visit" my cyber friends and see what's going on in their lives. It's the same as when you go visiting friends, unless on PTO they never offer me a beer !! Crap !!

I hope this helped you understand what PTO is all about. I think the most important is that it breaks down the walls of loneliness. You can be pretty much isolated, even in the free world. Even though I have many good friends and an active social life, I need PTO on a daily basis.

All my best wishes, Dale.

Phil

[Lucrisid]

Like most others, I was looking for information. My fiancee was about to get extradited to another State.
The day I joined PTO changed a lot in my life. This place had become my home in cyberspace, I have my friends here and I want to pass on what has been given to me.

My friends here have made the second half of my pregnancy a pleasant one, they took part in my struggles of raising four kids- we have shared a lot of laughs, we have cried together.

I am guilty of spending too much time here, but this is the place where my friends and I hang out. I don't even want to imagine what the past year would have been like without PTO.

Tanya

[SCLady]

I was referred here by a friend who has the same kind of back problems I have because I mentioned that everything was especially hard now that my husband was sent to prison. After that, all is a blur, LOL. I have my family here, my friends here, it is my home away from home!

[ABEJAY]

I'm relatively new to PTO (1 month) but I was so glad to find a group (a large one too!) that could identify with the same issues I am grappling with. I have found a wealth of information and support. I've never been involved with an internet forum like this before. It has been a godsend. I hope that I have been helpful in sharing inormation that I was knowledgable about. With time, I hope to be able to contribute more. I really like that you can talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING (just about). Finding out that our justice system can be cold hearted has been balanced out by finding a PTO family that is so supportive and caring.

[cherrie]

I came to PTO for looking for alot of what others had shared. And I also came for some closure on a past relationship I was involved in and ended up finding friendships, an adopted family and wealth of support. Even though when I came here I didn't expect to find what I found because none of my friends or family could understand what I was feeling but PTO did and does today. And if I can give back what PTO has given me by offering support, suggestions, and a ear than I feel I am giving back what PTO gives me on a daily basis. I truly have found peace, happiness, and joy which I didn't have for such along time and I contribute that to alot to PTO. Am I a PTO junkie most defintely but I wouldn't want it any other way to be honest. LOL

cherrie from tx

[Trulykath]

I was digging for answers...ANY ANSWERS on the net....I happened on to the site, and the rest is history. Initially, I asked a lot of questions...and posted about SKIP NON STOP. (hush Beck LOL). Not really personal posts, but DOC issues as they pertained to his situation. My personal nature is inquisitive, and by digging/relating/hoping, I've been able to crack into some areas others haven't in an EXTREMELY bureacratic TDCJ world. I also talk to Skip about PTO, and he's enjoyed my interest here. He loved the b-day cards from everyone, and I feel sure you will see him around here when he's home and settled!

If I can pass on what I've learned and have it help even ONE person, this detour we've taken will have served us well. I'm also a caretaker personality, and helping others is self-gratifying.

In this process, I have met/connected with a handful of very close friends. They understand me, I them. We don't judge, we listen. I feel God takes you down all life's paths, and He brought me into your life for reason...you into mine for the same.

I sometimes think we get off track on our purpose here, but in all things, some degree of laughter helps maintain our fine line of sanity.

It's been hard lately, to post anything. Skip will be home soon, and I'm sure some people look at me, thinking..."oh Sure, she can say that, her man's coming home." I still continue to try and help others. I will do so, until it no longer feels right....

kath

[B-Ray]

Cool topic Jody!

I think as we go on with these comments, we will see a lot of carbon copy statements.

Within that, we find the "purpose" of PTO.

There are very few of us here at PTO, that doesn't have a current involvment with the prison system. But with the DEMANDS of our society, we live a life as, prisoners without bars also.

During this time in our societies history making, we bring our it worse fears, that society doesn't want to deal with! We have to hunt and pick to find a place to servive in, once the onslot of returning to society has settled.

When I first came to PTO, was when one could read EVERYTHING that was posted in a few hours. And I felt comfortable for the 1st time in almost 40 years. Although fear still raised it's ugly head, there was enough exceptance felt, to lay out what has transpired during those years, in hopes of making it easier for others. To give some "heads up" for what might transpire, once back into society and for those already out here.

It took many years to learn to live in somewhat of a hermit life style (my choice) of out of sight, out of mind as much as possible and PTO opened a whole NEW world for me! It put some purpose back into my life, besides just serviving. It is rewarding to get some feedback of being helpfull by displaying what I have lived, studied and what "I think" I know (HeHee). If nothing else, there is always "something" to think about, and in that I am happy being here!

Once involved with PTO, it's never a one-way street. We glean from each other and we give also. The comfort, support and information is the tie's that bind! The purpose of PTO isn't restricked to "just" it's members. The topic's (forums) are seachable by every major search engine on the web.

The concept of PTO was born by one man (Fed-X), doing Federal time. With the help of others, PTO became a reality and has blossomed into THOUSANDS of members and hundreds of visitors daily.

[LeaAnn]

I came to PTO out of curiousity and really cannot get over the major support given on here. Maybe it came at the right time because some people do not understand it, but everyone on here does.

Lea-Ann

[LaurieJ]

PTO to me was a life saver when I found it. I felt lost and all alone. My life had just hit a brick wall and I didn't know which way to turn. I ran across PTO just trying to find any information about the prison system. This was all new to me, I knew nothing. I am so grateful to my PTO family. I have support from friends and family out here but it's not the same as hearring some one tell you "I've felt the same way that you do right now". I never thought I would stop crying until I met some wonderful people here who I look up to so very much. I thought I was going to die after two months when there were people here that have been survivors for so much longer. I come to PTO everyday. Very rarely do I go to another site anymore at all. I have made friends here and I stay concerned about them and their situation, just as I know that they have concern for me. If I can atleast one time on here make someone feel like life isn't over then me being at PTO is worth all the while. Everyday I learn something new that is going on with the system, and this has given me a better perspective of what kind of life my fiance' is having to endure right now. PTO is a wonderful place, I am so very blessed that I found this rock.

[DENIMBLUE]

When I found PTO...I was searching for anything that would enlighten me about PRISON LIFE, especially a cheaper telephone call. I couldn't visit at the time and I was on the edge because I was getting NO where in getting my visitation back and I was just so sad and in my own silent hell...PTO saved my sanity, it was exactly what I needed at that time in my life...People who knew what I was going through, the same feelings, the same experiences...I finally had someone to talk to and a way to get information from people, who first of all cared, and knew what they were talking about. I went into this prison life, numb and dumb, but I didn't find PTO at that time, I wished that I had, because once I started talking to PTOers, and listening to PTOers, my thoughts were so much better, and I felt so much better about the whole prison thing, and I like to be able to help other people now who are going through the same thing, and share my thoughts and feelings. It's a friendship with people who care and then care some more...If I can make a difference in one person's "prison" experience, it will make my day. I have been to hell and back and I do not wish that on anyone. And I thank those who have made a difference in my life, too...

[JodyAnnShaw]

Thank you all for your input... I will print this tomorrow to mail out to Dale.

[4MyJoe]

Hi Jodygirl & Dale,

I stumbled upon PTO while on the surfing the web. It has been my sanctuary and my support. You see, many people in society in general who don't hold "criminals" in a very good light but here on PTO you have people who truly understand and know first hand what you are going through without judgment. Supporting a loved one through the system despite what they may have done is very difficult and draining. PTO provides a way for us to realize that we are not alone in this and that there is strength and knowledge in numbers.

In short, this place supports us, while we support you. I'm not leaving any time soon.

God Bless,
Mrs. Joe

[TxRenee]

Jody Jody Jody My toothless friend How are you 1st off? I miss that smile!!!

Dale,
For your questions...about all I can say is the same as all the others...I found PTO one night late surfing the net looking for anything I could about prison life since my man is in prison. I did go to the 1st conference in Houston and had a blast meeting so many.
PTO helps keep me sane when times get bad. I found alot of friends on PTO boards and got alot of answers even if I didn't want to hear them!

PTO might be a board on the net but its also PEOPLE all over the world. I'm so glad I found them all!!!

[FriscoLady]

Jodygirl and Dale,

I came to PTO in February of 2002, looking for answers as well, I was at the time trying to find a way to reach out to my niece.

She had already been in prison for quite awhile (since 1996) on a life sentence. She had not written me since before her conviction and I wanted to reach her at the time because I was facing what I was told could be the last and final operation in a - up to then losing battle against cancer. I did not think I had much time, I reached out to PTO in desperation.

As it turned out, THANK GOD!, I not only survived I have been clean of cancer since the surgery April 28, 2002. During my recovery I pretty much left PTO.

However, my life has been a mess since Holly went to prison, eventually, in the course of time, ended up with a conviction of my own. That is when I remembered PTO. I told Linda about PTO the night before my sentencing and we parted for what we thought was going to be six years.

The members of PTO supported her, after my release to await what we thought was going to be a long and drawn out appeals process, they supported both of us. However, the matter was recently settled to the acceptance of all parties.

Now that Linda and I can look forward to being "Together Forever" again. We want to give back - to others - through PTO - what was given to us - caring advice, concern, and love.

The state still has a tight grip on my life, but that ends in six years. Meanwhile, we pray that we are an asset to PTO and we know that we still need the support of our PTO family.

Dale, Thanks to FED-X for founding PTO and to members of our PTO family, like Jodygirl, we have gotten through this!

We hope and pray we can do the same for others.

Love to you all,

Patti

[BryansGRRL]

I came looking for support and to share the same.Bryan nor I really talk to our families and they don't support us anyway so I was looking for others in my similar position I could talk too

[danielle]

I came looking for help! When I joined I had never been through any type of prison or parole anything. I was begging for answers and tired of trying to figure out what's impossible to figure out. Back then (about 17 months ago) there was nobody else really connected to Alabama (where my husband is) or Mississippi (where I live). So, I just started posting all that I could find in the hopes that somewhere down the line, somebody would find the information and help they needed and not have to wander aimlessly and confused.

Fast forward to now - I've met a PTO member, had chats on the phone with others and have enjoyed the "people" here. You see, that's what makes PTO unique - we are simply a group of folks bound by the common connection of the prison system.

PTO gave me strength when I was down and I can only hope to return the favor.

[roc city girl]

i was introduced to PTO through a friend of mine. I never knew of such a great support system. I was a member for a while just reading posts, etc before i had the courage to really post. I am currently unemplyed and i am on pto just about all day on and off. Its very addiciting.I like it because i am not judged or being condemed for loving a prisoner.

[allybay]

I found PTO while looking for legal info. Like so many others, this is my first (and only, I hope) time to deal with this situation, my husband in jail.
When he first left here was what my day was like: Go to work, pretend everything was ok, because I didn't tell anybody due to embarrassment and shame. Come home, feed the dogs, think maybe I should clean the house, no don't want to, don't have the energy. Then I would think maybe I should pay some bills, no don't want to, don't have the energy and don't have enough money without his income. Then I would think, maybe I should fix me something to eat. No, don't want to, don't have the energy and really not hungry. So I would go to bed and maybe sleep 12 or 14 hours or maybe not sleep, lay there and flip thru the channels on TV and alternate between missing him, needing him, and worrying about him to hating him for doing this to us. Get up the next day and do it all over again. Unless it was the weekend, then I pretty much stayed in bed, doing only what I had to do to for me and my dogs to survive.
Since I discovered PTO and now realize I don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed, I now have told some friends and co-workers. Here is a day in my life since PTO: Go to work, actually be happy for the most part, come home feed the dogs. Think maybe I should clean the house, no don't want to, I need to check the postings on PTO, maybe I should pay some bills, no don't want to (still don't have enough money without his income), need to check PTO. Maybe fix me something to eat, no don't really want to, I need to get in there and check PTO. So this is where I spend my nights now. And it has made a tremendous difference in my life. I feel like ya'll are my friends and I am so interested in reading what everyone has to say. And the things I have learned! So when I reluctlantly shut down the computer, I get up and realize there are dirty dishes and empty packages in here to clean up (had to have snacks, no supper), the dogs have peed and pooped in the house because I was so involved in PTO I did not get up and let them out, and I do have some bills to take care of tomorrow....but my life is so much better than it was 5 months ago when this nightmare began. Thanks to everybody.

[MiamiChica22]

PTO for me has been validation that are thousands of me's running around out there! Women who love their man, even though he is incarcerated. I've met a couple of women I am proud to call friend I met on this site, even though I've never met them in person. I've gotten lots of information in the "Federal Prison" Forum. I print the jokes and send them to my man, who enjoys them very much. It's like a support group that I don't have to shower and drive to go to!!