Anyone else having problems telling family?

[Forever1037]

Okay this is going to sound bad and it sounds horrible form my perspective.... so jsut bare with me... I may be somewhat of a coward but this is all new to me..


My husband of 17months is serving a 4 year sentance at Mirimar Brig for well looking at porn on the computer at his home. Yep you heard me correctly at his home. He was court martial at Pearl Harbor on May 31st, 2006. We had been married 3 months and 5 days.


The only people that know our situation are my mother and sister, my roommate, his parents and 2 siblings.

Before this happened I was very close with my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and our extended family. But now I do not know how to talk to them. They all ask where he is, what he is doing, how he is. I can only say so many time that he is doing well, enjoying friends company, and I know he is safe everynight. Which none of that is a lie. They know he is in San Diego. They keep asking me if he will be home for Christmas or Thanksgiving or anytime.

I did not want to tell them to begin with becasue i did not wnat the pity. I wanted time to deal with it on my own terms before anyone knew.

He was courtmartialed 4 days before my little sister high school graduation. We had family in town from all over the world. I did not want to spoil her happiness or the family reunion. I stayed away as much as possible and was jsut around when i couldnt avoid it.

Well here we are 14 months later. I told my mother 2 days after my sisters graduation because i needed someone to talk too. I told my sister a couple weeks later. And I had to tell his family because he was afraid too. That took me two months to work up the courage.

As of right now my family all thinks he is stationed in San Diego. I don't want to tell them, but i miss them. I don't want to tell them i have been lying to them for the past 14 months.

How in the world am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to tell people without them pitying us? or being mad at us? or completely cutting us outta their lives? Thats what I'm afraid of most. I have been living without them for the most part since they don;t know whats going on. What can i do now?