I love him but his sex is weak...

[hazelle]

Originally Posted by Timsbaby

See, first I was going to give my two cents on the sex thing, which was; to stick it out with your man, don't cheat, like a few other ladies said, buy some sex toys, start experimenting now, even tell him about it and tell him your ideas for a lil more forplay action, so you can at least get your before his 1 min. finish and when he gets home, bring the new toys and ideas into the bedroom....but then the issue of mental abuse was brought into the equation, so scratch all of that. You need to do what is right for YOU and YOUR CHILD. You need to provide a safe environment for your child as well as yourself. I have also been in a verbally abusive relationship and I will tell you, from my experience, being selfish in the bedroom, is a HUGE sign. It's as if those men use you as there f**k hole(excuse me) instead of their woman, whom they adore and cherish. It seems to me (from what you've said) that he doesn't care about your needs. Is this how you wanna live the rest of your life? You are young. You have a child in the equation that needs his or her mommy to protect them at all costs...which means putting their needs ahead of your own wants and desires. You can do it on your own. You don't need anyone to take care of you, hey your doing it without him now right? You just do what is best for you and your child. Take care. Stay strong. If you ever want, you can pm me anytime.
Lana

Thanks lana. I guess I'm so caught up on how he's going ot feel that I'm not thinking about myself or my son. Your right I don't want to live like this forever. He just called yesterday and I just don't know what to do. He keeps saying I'm his other half and that his world will be over if I leave him. I don't know what the hell to do. Should I stay and make him happy, or should I leave and break his heart? I'm confused about what to do. He said he's getting out in october. That's not ot far away. But I need to make a decision before that

[MissOne]

If i felt i had a chance at happiness i would stay, but if my son or my happiness was at stake for the sake of your man happy or being together as a family, i would bail.

[txla36]

Originally Posted by MissOne

Well, babieboo has laready answered for me. All i want to add is to COMMUNICATE by showing him and talking during the actual act. And get some VIAGRA

But seriously, whatever you do, please don't cheat or walk away before you figure all this out.

I agree! Viagra works wonders!!! Along with communication!

[Kace]

I just read ALL of your posts. I can't tell you for certain what is going to happen to you. I don't even know you or your guy. I do feel based on what you have said in ALL of your posts, that you should leave now while you have a chance. Not saying him, because I do not know him, but men like him end up abusing you. It starts with threats. It ends with you dead or near it. He has shown more than once he is capable of this. He just hasn't done it to you YET. He does not care about your needs. The "weak" sex alone warrants you working it out, but when I put that with the fact that he is a past abuser and that you have "heard" that he cheats....that is too much. Just as important as all of that, the day he threatened to take your child away was the day when all talking went out of the window. A man who can even threaten that to a good mother is one sick, controlling dog. My ex never changed to this day. Add cold to that, cause yours sounds like he could be too. I wish you luck and hope you listen to your gut and find the strength to do what you need to do. I will pray for you.

[brownshuga27]

hazell,
i know exactly how you feel!! i've been in a relationship where he wasn't pleasing me. like everyone else said, talk to him, that's what i did. and the sex had gotten better.
talk dirty to him, tell him what you want and how you want it done lol. works for me. communication is the key!!

[rabbitala]

You need to talk tohim about this. Sex isn't everything in a relationship, but on the other hand you need to meet the others needs. You don't have to get kinky. You can always touch and explore one another and do exoctic massages and of corse you can show him where you need to be touched and how. Don't hold back tell him how you feel and what you want. It is selfish to just satisfy hisself. (HUGS)

[Timsbaby]

I completely agree with what Kace said...Hazelle...you really do need to do what is best for the both of you, meaning you and your son. He's gonna be alright...WITH OR WITHOUT you, so don't get that twisted...I think it has gone WAY past worrying about breaking his heart. Does he seem to be entirely concerned with the needs of your heart, when he threatens you? Is he concerned with your son(what he sees/witnesses)? What kind of man do you want your son to grow up to be? Do you want him to be like his father? Really think about that. Whatever environment you have set up for your children, has a sure chance of affecting the type of person they will grow into. You have until Oct. to really get your life in order, to become a strong woman and mother and when he comes with his boo hoo sorries and stories of change and wants to come home, you'll be strong enough to let it go and tell him to get his a$$ on, without you. I'm not the one to advocate every woman leaving their man and not sticking it out. I just believe, with everything in me, when children are involved, they come first and foremost. If I had even the slightest doubt in Tim and his ability to be a great man and influance in my daughter's life, I would be gone. He knows this and respects me for it. He knows, her and her needs alone come before our relationship. Stay strong girl. You can do this on your own. Sex is the least of your worries right now...and youcan handle THAT on your own too...lol...take care, pm me or reply here if you wanna talk.

Lana

[Kace]

I agree with Timsbaby. Just look at your child's face. Find your strength there.

[Strasse]

My humble opinion -
Don't cheat. Don't leave (for real).

Talk to him about it. If he's not receptive, stop being passive or nice about it. Lay it on the line. "We need to fix this, or I will. Somewhere else."

If he's still not receptive / listening / doesn't get it, walk away for a week. Let him know you're serious. 7 days with *no contact* and he'll be begging to come back, and in a position to listen, finally.

Guys are easy to program, once you have our attention. Sometimes, it takes extreme measures to get their/our attention.

Remember, too, this advice is worth what you paid for it . It would work on me, and most guys I know. But as in all things your mileage may vary.

[roc city girl]

Oh girl i am with you!! tito has really become a selfish in the bedroom, once he gets his, it's a wrap. and since he is pissing me off alot lately, i am getting me a part time lover and thats my word.

[CraigsWifey]

Although I definately do not have this problem with my man, If I did, I would be apt to talk about it with him while in the act. You teach people how to treat you, so if you want him to please you in a way that will make you quiver per se, you should teach him how to treat you in the sack.
I show my man how to touch me all the time, and he does the same to me, it turns you on alot more, and you are more apt to know what kinds of things eachother likes and what kinds of things they dont like.
It makes me so hott when he tells me "baby, do it like this..." and then shows me what he wants. He likes it when I do it to him too.
We're kind of freaky like that

[Tre's Treasure]

Originally Posted by JustTami

You have to teach that man!! Don't let a good thing go if the only thing wrong can be fixed!:fb:

You are so right you two seem young and there is alot more to good sex than the act. You need to teach your man..............Sometimes when we get caught up in the day to day and having children we forget the simple things.
Romance him teach him to romance you again. Don't let him go straight to the act before you recieve a little pressure. Some men get intimidated when they are asked to do something different. There are many ways to communicate with your man about sex.

Goodluck

[bridgettelynn07]

I think you should give him oral sex first and let him have his nut ( sorry to be so blunt)
then have sex... usually that`ll make the sex last longer..
I do think you should tell him though, you have a child with him, u shouldnt be ashamed to talk about your sex life with him, lol

[mrs.battsiii]

i hope something good happened... but the original conversations were in 2004. try to pm hazelle. the thread is really stale. she didn't come back to update- maybe it all worked out!!!
http://planetsmilies.net/obscene-smiley-7196.gif

[mrsdjones]

cant get your issue resolved if he doesnt know there is one!

[Raye]

Baby girl go with your heart and you needs. I have the same issue but the difference is we are not back together yet. I have never told him he is small but hey what is a girl to do?

[missyouhoo]

what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. Get some for once. You still a virgin

[2nice]

To me, youre as good as your partner!! If ne isnt too good, then neither is!! That is not meant as a put down on you... It means that you need to know how to please yourself and then show him how to please you! SOme ment hink that every woman's turn on is the same, when that is not true. I used to be in a simular situation to you in my first couple of relationships. Then i met a guy who asked me what turned me on and how do i like to be turned on. I had to think about it long and hard. I ad to explore myself to find the answer. Once i found out andshowed and told him what pleases me, he did it and that was the best sexual partner i have ever had. From then on, i have told boyfriends what i like and how i like it, and i havent complained ever again!!

Maybe you need to find out what pleases you and show or tell your man. Try that to see if it works out. If it doesnt... either he is all about himself or the two of you just arent sexually compatible!

[donutandpickle]

If your biggest problem is your man having weak sex get down on your knees and thank god lol. But seriously why not take the time to make him better. If you love him take the time and have fun teaching him how you want it.