Remedies

[PattiD1157]

taken from an email sent by one of my co-workers. Who says security officers don't have a sense of humor? LOL

Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will
instantly remove itself

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't
move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS