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Marsha_Lopez1 · #1 12-30-2007, 03:46 PM

Ok what do you ladies think. My man says the most wonderful things in letters but why wont he say things like that in person or on the phone? Is it just easier for him to express himself in letters? If so, why does he say he hates to write letters(even tho he still always writes me) which is more sincere? what he says in letters or in person or both. Well I'm hoping its both but a lot of guys can be some pretty smooooooth talkers ya know?

LuvAlwayz04 · #2 12-30-2007, 04:12 PM

I think it's probably just easier for him to express himself on paper. Not everyone can express themselves verbally like they want to. Maybe because they just can't seem to find the right words to say at the time or it just makes them uncomfortable for the moment. My man was the same way for along time. But I noticed that the more he expressed himself on paper, the easier it became for him to do verbally in person or over the phone. When we discussed it, he told me that the reason it was easier on paper was because he never felt it in his heart to talk that way to a woman because he had never been in love before, so everything was new to him and he didn't know how to come out and say what was in his heart like he wanted to, like he was too shy to actually say it or just didn't know how to get the words out right. But as time went on, with the help of those letters, our communication all around eventually grew stronger. If I were you, I wouldn't worry. Just continue to be open and express your feelings and love for him and eventually when he feels ready to open up on all levels and that comfort sets in you'll notice the difference. Until then, cherish those letters. Do like I do and read them over and over with a big cheesy smile on your face. You'll "hear" all those wonderful things soon enough. After awhile he won't be able to stop saying them.

THE BEST TO YOU

**Patty** · #3 12-30-2007, 04:15 PM

Did you feel he was sincere before he went to prison? If so why trip now? If you like what he says in letters and want to hear those words on the phone and in person then tell him. Communication is key to any successful relationship.

Patty

his_princess · #4 12-30-2007, 04:21 PM

I would say it's probably just easier to say those things in letters for him. I, for one, have a HELL of a time being romantic in person, but when I write, I write EVERYTHING I feel! It's weird, I know, but some people are just like that!

thatwiz · #5 12-30-2007, 05:15 PM

well, I feel that you can write anything in a letter and I don't really take it that seriously-either what I write or what he writes as I always tell him that its just a feeling at that moment in time and by the time he gets it-its not even in the moment but just a prior thought. I would expect the person to show "love" in everything that they do and every action that take as it should all add up and be the same thing. If it was lacking in any area, then I'd feel it was a problem. If he can't say or do or express it in any other way than writing and you don't feel it anywhere else, then the words don't even matter.

Marsha_Lopez1 · #6 12-30-2007, 05:49 PM

I guess I'm just gonna have to talk to him about it. The funny thing is I dont know how to go about it....I guess we both have trouble expressing ourselves lol but like LuvAlways04 said I guess it will get easier as time goes on.

PTO-92958 · #7 12-30-2007, 06:08 PM

I believe the other ladies have given the best advise/opinions...I agree as well.
It's hard for some people (men particularly) to be open and verbal about their feelings. But when writing, sometimes things just flow, and it all comes out. We often don't write in the "style" that we use in speaking either. So he's free to be more expressive/sentimental/"mushy" than if he were speaking to you.
I know I don't always talk the way I write, that's for sure! My posts show that! LOL! (I'm not as intelligent nor as ghetto as my posts sometimes indicate. LOL...some of you will get that joke!)
Anyway, I digress (oops there I go again )
It doesn't mean he's not sincere, it could be he just needs the veil of the pen and paper to let his feelings show.
He may very well hate writing letters as he says, but still he does because he loves you.
I'm not fond of writing...I never wrote to anyone before I wrote to my Love...I never dreamed I'd be writing a letter everyday, or that I'd even be capable of finding things to write about...or time to write etc. But I love our communication now and I wouldn't/couldn't miss a day.
So, if I were you, I'd choose to believe his words and cherish the letters and the sentiments behind them, and hope that it wasn't a "Cyrano deBergerac" syndrome.

free_jc08 · #8 12-30-2007, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by his_princess

I would say it's probably just easier to say those things in letters for him. I, for one, have a HELL of a time being romantic in person, but when I write, I write EVERYTHING I feel! It's weird, I know, but some people are just like that!

I agree! That's me too!

lala18 · #9 12-30-2007, 06:54 PM

do you kno eldorado prison adress in ks

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsha_Lopez1

Ok what do you ladies think. My man says the most wonderful things in letters but why wont he say things like that in person or on the phone? Is it just easier for him to express himself in letters? If so, why does he say he hates to write letters(even tho he still always writes me) which is more sincere? what he says in letters or in person or both. Well I'm hoping its both but a lot of guys can be some pretty smooooooth talkers ya know?

Marsha_Lopez1 · #10 12-30-2007, 09:59 PM

I swear I think my man is a mind reader......I just spoke with him on the phone and he just opened up to me and poured his heart out we talked about everything (well almost everything cause the stupid phone cut us off!!)that was bothering us and everything we are feeling and he says he wants us to always be able to talk like this. I thinks this guy is my soulmate! hee hee

Marsha_Lopez1 · #11 12-30-2007, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lala18

do you kno eldorado prison adress in ks

No, I'm sorry I don't

Wobabi · #12 12-30-2007, 10:07 PM

he could mean all those words but just has someone else doing a lil literary assitance,,I heard that happens sometimes too

PTO-92958 · #13 12-31-2007, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldenglove

hope that it wasn't a "Cyrano deBergerac" syndrome.

Ummmmm, that's what this meant...

PookieJude · #14 12-31-2007, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsha_Lopez1

Ok what do you ladies think. My man says the most wonderful things in letters but why wont he say things like that in person or on the phone? Is it just easier for him to express himself in letters? If so, why does he say he hates to write letters(even tho he still always writes me) which is more sincere? what he says in letters or in person or both. Well I'm hoping its both but a lot of guys can be some pretty smooooooth talkers ya know?

I'm the lucky one on PTO (and probably not alone) that has the smooth talker, writer and phone conversationalist. Lucky me. He says he can't write, (yeah right!) but he can and does. So I end up beating myself up after the communication, trying to read into it all.