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Alex's Princess · #1 01-01-2009, 09:53 PM

Okay had lunch with some friends.

Honestly, which would you prefer, to have a friend that tells you like it is or one who will support you no matter what?

I know my one friend means well and loves me to death only wants the best for me. It's not like she goes into a bashing thing about Alex, but she always tells me that I deserve the absolute best. And am I "sure" he's it? She reminds me if he messes up and she says she's not saying he will, but if he does, she can't watch me get hurt to go through this again.
I just can't get her to understand that is what I have, I just have to wait to have him physically in my arms for another 4 months.

My other friend of course is the sweetheart friend that probably may still be holding back her thoughts but always tells me "do whatever makes you happy. I'm here for you no matter what."

I love my honey as much as a woman can possibly love a man. I have no regrets waiting for him and being there for him in any way.

I'm sure many of you go through this too. Just curious on which friend you would prefer to have.

xgot420issuesx · #2 01-01-2009, 09:59 PM

I want a friend who tells it like it is with RESPECT for me. I don't want friends who tell me what they think I want to hear, I don't want to be lied to at all. I am a big girl, I can handle the turth. But the friend better give me the honest truth with respect.

BlueEyedEllie · #3 01-01-2009, 10:03 PM

i wish i could have a lil of both qualities in my bf. i care for her greatly, but she is very outspoken about how AWFUL it is to love someone in prison. sometimes i think because i was single for a couple years she would feel threatened by ANY man who came into my radar. she used to tell me she'd stand by me no matter what,but then she'd launch into this tirade about why i just CAN'T love someone in prison. we no longer discuss marc at all. in every other way she's a WONDERFUL friend, but when it comes to marc, well there's no changing her mind!!

kstate · #4 01-02-2009, 12:27 AM

i have both kinds of friends. my mans earliest release date if in '12. which yours is alot sooner. right now i feel like i just want friends that will support me no matter what because i knwo this is what i want. but i have a friend who will be first in line to say "i told you so" if things don't follow through. it has effected our friendship slightly just because i knwo she doesn't support my decisions. i just keep things from her and avoid bringing it up all together.

JonJon Wife · #5 01-02-2009, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex's Princess

Okay had lunch with some friends.

Honestly, which would you prefer, to have a friend that tells you like it is or one who will support you no matter what?

I know my one friend means well and loves me to death only wants the best for me. It's not like she goes into a bashing thing about Alex, but she always tells me that I deserve the absolute best. And am I "sure" he's it? She reminds me if he messes up and she says she's not saying he will, but if he does, she can't watch me get hurt to go through this again.
I just can't get her to understand that is what I have, I just have to wait to have him physically in my arms for another 4 months.

My other friend of course is the sweetheart friend that probably may still be holding back her thoughts but always tells me "do whatever makes you happy. I'm here for you no matter what."

I love my honey as much as a woman can possibly love a man. I have no regrets waiting for him and being there for him in any way.

I'm sure many of you go through this too. Just curious on which friend you would prefer to have.

I've got the same problem but i feel all my friends are looking at my like i have three heads for sticking by his side. i have only one friend who really went through this and understand where im coming from. i feel alot people who has never done a bid with a man would say you deserve better! Whats better? I've had so called "good men" ive had ( guy who was a C.O,Church going Guy,someone i Meant @ work or Went to School with) guess what All cheated and one had a problem with his sexuality! the one guy who respects me and on the same page with me about what he wants out of a relationship is locked up! Well guess what insted of settling for less i'll wait for what i want! Aug 14th!!!!!

Daywalker · #6 01-02-2009, 01:43 AM

I believe that a friend that will hit me with bare truth, WILL be the one there to support me. While it's all good and well to wish you happiness, stil, I've found the ones that slapped me in the face with the truth, were the only ones who truly cared when it went downhill like a snowball rolling for hell. And picked me up, dusted me off, and never felt the need to say that they tried to tell me this would happen.

Lion's Victory · #7 01-02-2009, 09:28 AM

I would like to have someone who does both. My friends might not agree with my situation and I appreciate their opinion but they can still support me. They have their opinion and I have mine but that doesn't mean they can't be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on.

canthelpbutwait · #8 01-02-2009, 09:44 AM

I want somebody who is gonna keep it REAL wit me always. Friends are friends, even if they aint got the same opinion on what you doin or how you doin what you do or the same beliefs entirely as long as you both showen each other nothen but respect then its all good. I would NEVER want a friend who is gonna say shit just cu they think I wanna hear it- cuz that means they aint keepen it real wit u & if they wont keep it real wit the lil stuff- who knows what else they be fronten about

tmvalvo · #9 01-02-2009, 10:16 AM

I want a friend who is going to be honest and let me know what she really thinks but she also can be a hipocrit (sp). My bf thinks it all wrong that i am with my husband and supporting him (food money clothes) and that i am enabling him. But she is doing the same thing for her son who she has had limited contact with since he was eleven and is now 21. Yes i understand that that is blood, but he is my husband. It is just so agravating (sp).....

PTO-110524 · #10 01-02-2009, 10:25 AM

My friends do both. Keep it real at all times, but love me and support me 100%. No reason your friends can't do both.

Waiting4MyLuv · #11 01-02-2009, 11:00 AM

I want people who can be real with me, in a respectful way, but also be supportive. I'm a grown woman and don't feel the need for anyone's approval. I don't expect everyone to agree with me or approve of my relationship. However, I don't need to hear about my "bad decisions" all the time or have my relationship examined under a microscope. I deal with enough without having to defend my relationship.

Chellie · #12 01-02-2009, 11:52 AM

I am blessed with my bf she has never been through prision with her man but she understands why i'm wating. But she does tell me like it 100% like I do her. We always support each other fully.

ant's wife · #13 01-02-2009, 12:08 PM

the only true friend i have is my sister she tells me im nuts but if i wanna wait then that's on me. my so called friends one day they support me then the next trying to hook me up wit someone so i really don't bother them

Rene.E2008 · #14 01-02-2009, 12:08 PM

Me personally? i want a friend who will straight up tell me exactly how she is feeling about my sitiatuion with no regards to my feelings. i value outside opinions as someone can point out something that i mised in my relationship with a man. like my issue here; i had no idea it was abuse, and would have never known. but the ladies of PTO gave me their honest opinions and i appreciate that. i woulda liked them to be a bit harsher, but hey, im not complaining.

Wobabi · #15 01-02-2009, 12:15 PM

All my friends are both.
They are really raw with their opinions of what I share with them.
But at the same time they know,,a person will go stark raving mad trying to figure out my modus operandi,,I am all over the place.
Sometimes there are just no words for what I do but you gotta support and love me anyway,,or else my life will drive most people away.

AlwaysUs2011 · #16 01-02-2009, 12:48 PM

I would prefer to have a friend tell me like it is. It doesn't have to be done in a disrespectful way. She/He can just be like, you do realize you are taking a big chance on waiting all this time just to have him come out and go back in, or come out and things not work, or whatever she might feel. I would do the same thing to my friend - tell them how I feel in a respectful way. I would rather tell her how I really feel then to hold it in. If she is my friend, she knows that I am ONLY looking out for her and would understand. If I do something that a friend doesn't like or vice versa, it doesn't mean we don't like each other, it just means we don't agree with it and it might not be something we could/would do, BUT what matters is that we can voice our opinions to each other and still be supportive. Not agreeing doesn't mean you guys aren't any less friends, just means you can be honest with them and get through your differences, which in my mind, will only bring your friendship closer. JMO

LVELIZABETH · #17 01-02-2009, 02:12 PM

Well i have a very good friend.. She tells me what she thinks (which she thinks im wasting my time) but i honestly could care less what her opinion is cuz im gunna keep on waiting for my man no matter what anyone says... I love him... I just try not to bring my man up as much... Ppl just dont understand what we are going through and what we feel... So if she/he hasnt done a bid, i dont care they have to say...
If ur going to be supportive ... Then thank you very much if not ..ok

JonJon Wife · #18 01-02-2009, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcsbeth

i wish i could have a lil of both qualities in my bf. I care for her greatly, but she is very outspoken about how awful it is to love someone in prison. Sometimes i think because i was single for a couple years she would feel threatened by any man who came into my radar. She used to tell me she'd stand by me no matter what,but then she'd launch into this tirade about why i just can't love someone in prison. We no longer discuss marc at all. In every other way she's a wonderful friend, but when it comes to marc, well there's no changing her mind!!

marcsbeth i believe some friends of mine arent use to seeing me happy and use to be being the single one out of our group i was the only one with out a solid relationship now i have that its like wait tia has a man now oh no she wont be around..gotta live your life we sat back let them live and be in love with theirs its our time to shine! Some friends even wanted me to go backwards with a ex and the worst of the bunch i been with the gay one! Ha ha yea right! Do you girl

loca511 · #19 01-02-2009, 05:43 PM

Honestly I only have one friend that really understands what Im going thru because she did a bid with her man for 2yrs but shortly after he came home the broke up !!! so she just tells me to be

carefull when he comes home !! i just tell her we cant perdict the future only GOD knows what he has in store for us and thats it !!! everyone else really dont tell me there opinion