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Twisted4good79 · #1 03-06-2009, 08:08 PM

I feel as thought I should explain why I'm not posting and replying all the time anymore. As you may or may not know, Nicole is almost halfway done with her sentence...its almost been 5 months already, and she only has 7 more to go. When she first went in I had no clue how the "system" worked and had so many questions and concerns, many of which were answered here...the amazing PTO forum.
She has now been at Alderson for 3 months and the recent drama of more charges has been dealt with and is past, with no extra time...so thank God for that.
I've really come to terms with our situation and I'm really in a great place right now. I've been keeping myself so busy to pass these last 7 months that I barely have time to eat. Between my work, my band, my tattooing, my new "side project" band, my acoustic shows, giving guitar lessons, and of course writing, talking to, and visiting Nik, plus trying to make time for friends and family and her kids, I'm really squeezing every second out of every day.
I appologize that I can't be here posting as much as I was, but I feel as though I have to watch out for number one and keep as busy as I need to so this 2nd half goes even quicker than the first half...although I can't believe we're almost halfway through this already.
I do try to get on here as much as I can, but it seems as though thats only about once a week. I honestly can't thank PTO and all of the wonderful people here enough...if I wouldn't have found this site....Man, I can't imagine how hard those first few months would have been, and thats the reason I do try to get on here as often as possible because I want to return the favor for those who are in the same situation, have questions, and need answers.
So I just wanted to kinda explain myself...really because I feel bad I'm not on here as often as I was, but I am trying.

Thanks again to everyone.

I love you Nicole...October baby!

Her_Man · #2 03-06-2009, 09:52 PM

I am glad to see that you are so close to the end of this. Is a nice thing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and not have to worry that it's a train.

Do drop in occasionally and give us guys with much longer time frames a bit of encouragement.

nick3369 · #3 03-08-2009, 09:15 PM

No need to feel bad about it. You're doing the right thing, keeping so busy that you don't have much time to dwell (and dwell, and dwell,...). I know that when it gets closer to the time when Casey gets out I'll be frantically trying to get ready for it. It'll be a big transition for both of us. I know it sounds bad, but I think I've gotten used to pining away for her, writing letters, and counting down the time between visits. Ugh, I just really want her home!

Your day's coming real soon, twisted, and I'm excited for ya'll! Come talk to us when you can, but don't worry about the time when you can't!

bean123 · #4 03-09-2009, 11:06 AM

feels like just yesterday you came to PTO...time is really going by fast, i agree. i still cant believe james has almost 9 months and still hasnt been sentenced! hot damn, he's eligible for parole already!!! LOL.

i try to keep myself as busy as possible too to make time go faster and take my mind off of things. it really helps. glad you are at that comfy place where reality sets in about the situation and you are at peace with it. i know in the beginning it feels like you will never get to that point but that's normal.

Missing Someone · #5 03-09-2009, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bean123

place where reality sets in about the situation and you are at peace with it. i know in the beginning it feels like you will never get to that point but that's normal.

Ugh, I remember that not at all fondly! But I remember being thankful that I finally got there. I think we all take our little breaks now and then, just to screw the head back on.

bean123 · #6 03-09-2009, 11:20 AM

Missing...hes home!?!?!?!?

Missing Someone · #7 03-09-2009, 11:36 AM

2 weeks today

We have some crap that we are dealing with right now, but it's good, really good. Actually to be honest, it's like the last 2 years didn't exist. I thought we might have some readjusting - nope - didn't happen. He had a hard first couple of days especially being in crowds but he is doing really well. He started back to work this morning - although that was stressful for him - he is really excited.

His love of everything right now is contagious LOL. I love when he realizes that he can do what he wants, when he wants to. I catch myself smelling him all the time - weird hey? I hadn't seen him in so long that I actually buckled at my knees the day I went to go and get him. It was really weird, he just threw his property bag to hold me up. I wasn't expecting my legs to do that LOL.

Sorry to hijack the post - thanks for asking!

bean123 · #8 03-10-2009, 01:47 PM

awww missing =) i miss that feeling. it's crazy to think one year ago i was going thru that with james! now here we go all over again. (march 17 would actually be one year since he came home)

i still remember the first week he came home...he punched me in the side of the face one night when he was asleep because i put my arm around him. it didnt REALLY hurt cuz he was sleeping. man, that boy jumped up SO fast and was like "im sorry baby. you see...where ive been the last 4 years...if someone put their arm around you while you were sleeping you had a BIG problem" lol. he adjusted pretty well tho...after that incident lol.

but yeah, sorry we stole your post chad =)

Twisted4good79 · #9 03-15-2009, 09:27 PM

Don't appologize to me...LOL
Its nice to hear about what its like when they get home...I'll be there in about 7 months. I just pray they flys by. I'd give anything for a good nights sleep with my arm around her, or to smell the way the bathroom smelled when she got done taking a bath and getting ready to go smoewhere.
I just want this to pass so I have her home to love on.

I love you Nicole...October Baby!!!

Missing Someone · #10 03-16-2009, 07:11 PM

Twisted - 7 months will fly by - I can promise you that. Once we hit 9 months it started going so fast.

I felt the same way - just to smell him again - I wasn't able to spray his cologne on the pillow because for some reason I would wake up in tears or worse, think that he was there.

It's lovely to hear you speak so lovingly of her.

bean123 · #11 03-17-2009, 07:53 AM

oh man, i cant even describe whats its like to go there and pick them up from prison. ive gone thru this homecoming deal three times now...i am really hopeful that next time will be the LAST time (in the past i was never hopeful of that...). the whole car ride to parole i kept giggling and he was like "WHAT is wrong with you" and i just kept saying "i dont know. you're like...right there. and i can touch you. and the COs wont be like 'keep your spaces....SPAAAACCESSS' you're just, like, right there! WE ARE IN A CAR JAMES!" and i kept just poking him in the arm or petting him tummy LOL. like, its all i could do was just poke him to make sure he was REALLY there lol. that lasted a week...then i guess it set in he was homeee =) and i didnt need to poke him or pet him anymore. he sleep so crapily (?? hah) the first few nights. he wasnt used to a normal bed...so holding him and vice versa didnt really work but after he got comfortable with a new bed it was fine =)

seven months really will go by fast. the hardest part is over. now its just waiting til nik maxes out.

Twisted4good79 · #12 03-17-2009, 08:20 PM

Yeah...it gets closer by the second. I am kinda worried about the akwardness of the first few days or first week or so, cause I know there will be a certain amount of re-adjusting for her and me, but just the thought of having her back keeps me awake some nights...smiling at the thought, yet still tearing up from missing her so much...but I've been able to make the trip a weekend every month, and I'm headin down there this weekend too, so we still get to spend about 10-14 hours a month together thanks to the very lenient visiting schedule at Alderson.

I love you Nicole

eagle1911 · #13 03-17-2009, 08:50 PM

Twisted,

It does seem like yesterday that you signed on here and asked the questions we all ahve went through. I am glad to here things are progressing.

I am sorry I have not been around to much the last couple of months. I was dealing with my things and for the longest time PTO brought back painful feelings. I have now worked through those, well continue to work through those. When I am ready I will share with the board some things going on in regards to my situation.

What I can say is I took the last three months to contemplate things. I tired many different ways to get past my feelings. Some good, others bad. What I do know is I have to trust my instincts and my intuition. My boss certainly does, and I am almost never wrong with the decisions I make at work.

Missing Someone · #14 03-17-2009, 09:17 PM

It's good to see you Eagle. Sorry to hear about the painful feelings. We are here for you when you are ready and we all have really broad shoulders.

Learning to trust instincts and intuition is probably life's hardest lesson to learn.

eagle1911 · #15 03-18-2009, 08:17 AM

Thanks missing. I am continuing to take it one day at a time. I will say that I hope the things I share will be and remain good.

bean123 · #16 03-18-2009, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twisted4good79

Yeah...it gets closer by the second. I am kinda worried about the akwardness of the first few days or first week or so, cause I know there will be a certain amount of re-adjusting for her and me, but just the thought of having her back keeps me awake some nights...smiling at the thought, yet still tearing up from missing her so much...but I've been able to make the trip a weekend every month, and I'm headin down there this weekend too, so we still get to spend about 10-14 hours a month together thanks to the very lenient visiting schedule at Alderson.

I love you Nicole

yeah the first couple nights are kind of awkward because i guess they were gone so long that they feel overwhlemed. like all of a sudden they can eat ANYTHING and eat WHENEVER they want and they can actually use the bathroom ALONE with no one in the cell five feet away and they don't have to smoke cigarettes at designated times or report to their rooms for count or bed time lock in. its a big change going from that kind of routine to basically NO set routine. james had a hard time slepeing because his back is so messed up from the bed in prison that slepeing on a normal comfy bed was just really uncomfortable to him. he also wasnt used to having anyone in his bed so he often stretched out ontop of me or stole all the blankets (and as im sure youve read...he punched me for putting my arm around him one night! LOL. thought i was his bunkie...HA). the readjusting as actually slightly upsetting to watch because you realize how much you take for granted the little things, like going out and getting the mail. i promise you dude, you will NOT sleep like the entire last week she is in prison. all you are going to do is day dream and plan for her homecoming...and i can almost garuntee you that half of what you plan on doing during the firs tweek or two wont even happen! i mean damn, me and jamie had a list of all the things we wanted to do, places to go, people to visit, etc...he was home for three months and we didn't even accomplish half that list! you are just sooo happy to finally have them home and theyre so happy to be free that the list of "must do's" doesnt matter anymore. youre lucky that you get to spend so much time with her...i get to spend 30 mins behind a window with jamie each week. so 2 hours a mount of window visits. =(. when hes in state it will be atleast an hour 15 mins a week contact visits (3 hrs a week if he goes to this one prison) so we're looking at atleast 5 hrs a month. this is IF i can even visit him (my pending charges might deny me visitation). but hey, good things come to those who wait! HOORAY!